Absolute Cannibal Volibear

You're walking in your jungle. There's no one around, And your camps are dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him, Volibear.

He's following you About 30 feet back. He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint. He's gaining on you. Volibear.

You're looking for your teammates, But you're all turned around. He's almost upon you now And you can see there's blood on his face! My god, there's blood everywhere!

Running for your life (From Volibear.) He's brandishing a knife. (It's Volibear.) Lurking in the shadows Overpowered thunder god, Volibear. Living in your jungle, (Volibear.) Killing for sport, (Volibear.) Eating all the bodies Actual, cannibal Volibear.

Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him, But you're hopelessly lost yourself. Stranded with a demon bear, You creep silently through the river brush. A-ha! In the distance, A lane that you can easily gank. Hope! You move stealthily toward it, But your leg! AH! It's caught in a Cait trap!

Gnawing off your leg, (Quiet, quiet.) Limping toward the brush, (Quiet, quiet.) Now you're in the bushes, Sitting inside, its Volibear. Sharpening his teeth, (Volibear.) But he doesn't see you enter, (Volibear.) You're sneaking up behind him. Time for you to kill, Volibear. Fighting for your life with Volibear, Throwing a knife at Volibear, Ignite the bear on fire. Safe at last from Volibear.

You limp into the dark jungle, Blood oozing from your stump leg. But you have won. You have beaten, Volibear.

Wait! He isn’t dead! Passive surprise! There's his frenzy overhead, and death in his eyes. You ping your team to help you… Gragas comes to body slams Volibear.

Legendary fight with Volibear. Normal Tuesday night for Volibear. Darius try to swing an axe at Volibear. But Fiora teleports from the top lane.

She’s dodging every swipe, she parries to the left. You apprehend to the right, you kill her in the act. He is chopping off his heads now…. Darius has just decapitated Volibear.

His head topples to the floor, expressionless. You fall to your knees and catch your breath. You're finally safe from Volibear.

original version: Rob Cantor – absolute cannibal Shia LaBeouf