Having fun only by winnning ?

If someone's ever playing in Ranked, you need that mentality where the effect of the loss is just as potent as the effect of the win. It's definitely possible to dislike having that loss, but enjoy the competition involved. I haven't experienced that in quite some time though, unfortunately, with how snowbally this game is right now.

on the contrary i don't really care about winning at all, it has never been my mentality in any competitive video game because usually it leads to...

negative emotions/feelings such as rage or frustration asserting blame towards teammates or the game aka diverting defeat towards uncontrollable conditions lack of sportsmanship because you don't value the competition itself playing worse which in turn usually leads to more losses toxicity and unpleasantness towards both randoms and sometimes friends nasty egos and alpha-oriented complexes