What if MMR didn't exist?
I know this is just gonna get downvoted by all those "But I was lucky enough to get Platinum 5 years ago! Why should I have to continue to work to keep it?" people, so just get it over with.
What if the amount of LP you gained/lost wasn't determined by your MMR, but just the division you're in?
So like, everyone in Bronze 5 would get 30 LP on a win and 10 on a loss. Because let's face it; you need to be really shit to be down there. B4 would be 29/11, B3 would be 28/12, B2 would be 27/13, B1 would be 26/14, etc.
Everyone in Silver 5 would get/lose 25/15. Because people with that sort of winrate deserve to be down there.
Everyone in Gold 5 would get/lose 20/20. A nice, steady 50% winrate for normal players that deserve to be in Gold. Instead of this sick MMR system that sticks first-time Ranked players in Silver 1 MMR to completely fuck anyone who tries climbing out of it.
Platinum 5 would be 18/22, since you'd need to be a little better to survive being there, right?
Diamond 5 would be 16/24, since you'd need to be extra good to get there.
Masters and above would just be 14/26. Let's see how many of the lucky bastards stay up there.
You might ask, "How does a Masters person maintain a steady 65% winrate when playing against other Masters players?" Good question! If someone isn't able to handle such harsh, demanding requirements, then that person doesn't quite deserve to be a Master! Just as if someone is unable to have a lower-than-25% winrate, they shouldn't be stuck in Bronze 5!