and just wanted to check if your eyes still worked as my name literally says Lily
Names don't mean shit. I'm a guy and my name was Dr Mercy for a long time (That's right, it's me). There's the joke of GIRLS = Guys In Real Life for a reason (it's an acronym). In reality, it doesn't matter, cause I'm going to treat you the same whether you're a guy or gal, so unless you think it matters that I know you're really a girl, it's a non-issue.
Explain what about this is strawman?
Dear santa Riot, for christmas i would like a new balance team:
One that doesnt think too much damage is "a good thing!"
The above is a strawman, as you are assuming that is their stance, and then going off that as it's easier to argue. Their actual position on damage, is that there is too much Upfront damage, with their belief that average damage is overall the same. Which as they have been going about, having been trying to lessen upfront damage, which is shown by the concept of the new DH (even if it might be a miss) and a lot of the nerfs to Runes that occurred months ago.
Cancer is subjective, Akali's only pain is the true stealth thing, other than that she's honestly pretty well made. That's ignoring, however, that those are not because of the Balance team. Thats the Champion Design team you're complaining about, so another thing you're wrong about.
Dark Harvest, I don't know if that's due to the Balance Team or not, but once again, New DH follows Riot's stance that upfront damage is too high, so they chose to backload. There's room to balance it with a lower Proc value of Percentage health, because it's now backloaded. But nah, we're crying for reverts before a week has even passed.
I haven't had an opinion on DH's power level itself, because I haven't had that many games with it, still adjusting to it from what I've always ran on Kayn, electrocute. Bias is a none issue here, you can check my match history, I haven't played a lot. My opinion on it as a concept however, is where I disagree that it's more toxic than the original, and while i have my problems with it like it proccing from Teemo Shrooms and Karthus ults (Infinite range Ults), I think it's healthier in concept.
It just needs refining, like plenty people have said, it's execute range could definitely be lower, and I think that's a good idea. But people crying and screaming to revert it, saying it's nothing but garbage and Riot's dumb for implementing, is where I think people are being close minded.