How to Play League of Legends in Seven Easy Steps!

1. Log on to League and queue for Ranked.
2. If you have first pick, ban Urgot, Taric, and Zac, because they have low pick rates and therefore are obviously sleeper OP. If you don't have first pick, alt+tab until it is your turn and play some flash games.
3. When its your turn, instalock Nasus top with Teleport and Ghost. Doesn't matter if somebody else already called top, do it anyway. They'll figure it out, and besides, League is a team game. They need to accomodate you a little.
4. Alt+tab until the game begins. Play some Crush the Castle 2. Miss every catapult shot.
5. Mute everyone. If they start pinging, disable sound. You're about to be Challenger. You don't need Bronzelords telling you what to do.
6. AFK farm top for 45 minutes. If your team begins to lose, teleport to the inhibitor turret to stop them. Loudly complain about how trash your team is and how the enemy is a bunch of tryhard Korean smurfs. This will encourage your team to do better. If necessary, alt+tab into some flash games while playing League to stave off boredom.
7. Continue farming. Shove top as hard as possible and get angry when ganked. Why would they gank you 2v1? That's not fair. Continue shoving. If by some miracle your team pulls off a 4v5 teamfight and wins it, demand that they come top immediately and help you push.

Did you win? Yes: You carried your team! You'll be in Challenger soon, just like you so richly deserve. Spam "gg ez" in endgame screen to demonstrate your clear superiority to the other team. No: What a trash team. Rage in ALL CAPS in endgame screen and then go on Boards and whine about how toxic the League community is.