Let's talk about patch 9.16, the new meta and Riot's genius way of thinking, shall we?!

So... We went from a Demon heavy meta, to void + Brawlers meta, to Brawlers + Anything meta, into Hextech/Brawlers meta (Jinx + Brawlers specifically)... You see the pattern here!

The introduction of the Hextech trait completely rekt the meta and shifted the playstyle of TFT into a boring and a more linear gameplay, and the " nerf " to Brawlers didn't do sh*t: Get 6 Brawlers, get Jinx, slap a Gunslinger in there with her, and that's it... Almost every game, Top 2 players have a variant of this comp. Jinx... Jinx.... jinx... Always get a ! Like before, we always got a , a , a or an , etc.

It's been the same formula, over and over again, for more than a month now: The meta is to work around getting a frontline for your one and only carry (that Riot is defining and shoving it down our throat each patch), which Brawlers do best, ofc. Riot is so bad at balancing the game that the core problem stayed the same since PBE era! At least, last patch we had more variety of comps that could work alongside Voids but... meh!

Let's see what's wrong with the current patch:

Hextech:

• Throw a bomb at an enemy unit with an item, and disables all items in a 1/2 hex radius for 8 seconds.

Hmmm... 8 seconds is too short Riot, why not make it for the whole round while you're at it?

Brawler

• Bonus Health: 300/700/1200 ⇒ 300/600/1000

What a nerf! taking out a mere 100 HP on 2 star Brawlers, which already are beefy enough without the buff anyway, and so easy to get, is surely gonna make them balanced, right?!

Braum

• Health: 750 ⇒ 650

Yep! 's balance problem is definitely in his HP... it's not like he has an ability that makes him almost immune to damage for 4 sec, that he can spam use every 50 mana stored, righ?! And it's not like building any defensive items on him makes him literally unbreakable! Yeah, sure, let's ignore all that and just take away 100 HP from him, that would fix everything...

Hush

• Reworked: Now has a 33% chance on hit to prevent the enemy champion from gaining mana (we're calling it Mana Lock) for four seconds.

Great idea, Riot! We have Sword Breaker to lock units out of auto attacking, we have Hush to lock units out of gaining mana (in all ways, even from getting hit), we have Cursed Blade to lock out units from staying at their hardly earned rank by demoting them to oblivion... Hmmm, what else?! You know what, why not complete the whole thing with something that locks units out of using their items too? Oh wait...!

New Drop Mechanic

• In rare instances it's now possible to drop a full completed item instead of the two components separately.

The item RNG wasn't bad enough for Riot, I guess. Let's add some cancerous mechanic to add more to the fun, am I right? It was always fun to see others get more items than me because.. reasons. Now, I can watch them get fully completed items, as well, because.... reasons, while I'm getting some gold. I mean, I'm getting something, at least, so it's fair, right? RIGHT?

Red Buff and still prevent 100% healing, making all healing mechanics in the game practically irrelevant. I heard they got " nerfed ". Hmm, let's see:

Morellonomicon

• Burn Damage: 20% max health over 5 seconds ⇒ 20% max health over 10 seconds

Red Buff

• Burn Damage: 13% max health over 5 seconds ⇒ 20% max health over 10 seconds

Congratulations! We, now, can get burned for less, each second, but the pain will last twice as much. Oh, and now, we're unable to heal for 10 sec instead of 5 sec. Fantastic, Riot... FAN-freaking-tastic! Great balancing idea!

Ok, we all know that there have been big pathfinding problems in the game since it was on PBE. Let's see if they fixed it in this patch:

...

I guess not.

Did they fix the items RNG system, at least?

...

Hmmm...

What about the disconnect issues, which happens for TFT and normal League?

...

Nope.

Surely they fixed the 1st carousel-related bugs, that everyone have been complaining about for the last 2 weeks, right?

...

Well...

Eternals Coming in Patch 9.17

Ooooooohhh! That's why all of this BS is happening in TFT and League. They don't have time to properly fix the games, they're busy making us pay for personal achievements... YIKES!

There are so many other things I want to talk about but you know what... I'm done. You can have the rest, readers!

[zombie-brand-facepalm]