[Champion Concept] Sham'a, The Candle Maker

Candurill··13 votes·3,096 views

I once posted this champion before. Ive changed a lot since then, reworked his abilities, added some quotes etc, etc. So i figured i re-post him as the creation he is now. Tell me what you think!! Tips are always welcome!! :D I remade him and his lore within the concept of a series of champions im calling "The storybook series". These champions are all beings out of Runterra's local folklore. If you are interested, here are the others i've made so far: For The Freljord: Torvald, The Storm Bellow who is a powerful spirit that creates storms and thunder. For Ionia: Chayon, The Shepherd of the Afterlife who is a benevolent spirit that guides lost and tormented souls to the afterlife. For Demacia: Ethea, The Primordial Spirit who is the bringer of the end times that wields 3 forces of nature on the battlefield. For all of Valoran: Laurell, The Forest Guardian who is a nature deity that pops up in multiple tales all around Valoran and protects nature with fury.

I remade this champion concept with the idea for a storybook/folklore series of champions....lemme know what you think ^^

Identity:

Name: Sham’a Gender: Male Race: Spirit Birthplace: Shurima

[img]http://s11.postimg.org/abuj7q237/Sham_a.png[/img]

Appearance: See the picture (yes its from The Book Of Life...but its only an idea of what i had imagined for the character...it was hard to find anything at all...but yea). He should have a trustworthy, wise vibe going for him. He'd then be a bit white gold in color with wicks here and there that flicker on and off. His body is made of wax and should drip here and there. He should also have Shuriman texts etched all over his body and a calm, collected and wise voice.

Kit:

HEALTH 558 – 2020 ATTACK DAMAGE 55 – 106 HEALTH REGEN. 5.3 – 14.6 ATTACK SPEED 0.625 (+0% – 35.9%) MANA 392 – 1276 MANA REGEN. 5.0 – 22.0 ARMOR 21.6 – 72.6 MAGIC RES. 30.0 RANGED 550 MOV. SPEED 345

Passive, Master Candle-maker Vision and stealth wards that Sham'as places have a bigger range. Vision wards also have more health and stealth trinkets last longer. Sham'a also gains Mana regeneration (20% + champion level + 5% / every 50 AP), 17% (+ champion level + 1% / every 100 AP) movement-speed and some of his spells have added effects when near wards he places.

(Sham'as wards will have a candle holder under them, to set them apart from other wards.)

Auto attack: Sham'a throws balls of fire (and wax if Waxing Force is activated) for a medium ranged attack.

Q, Burning Candles: Mana cost: 50 per candle Cooldown: 12 seconds Active: Sham'a places a candle at a target location with 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 charges, granting him vision within a 550 unit radius. Allied champions can absorb its light every 15 seconds by clicking on it to restore 30 / 50 / 70 / 90 / 110 (+ 20% AP) health per charge. Only three candles can be placed on the map at any given time, and they cannot be within each others vision range. If the candle is placed within the range of one of Sham'as wards, it does not count to the total of three and will gain one bonus charge. If the ward is destroyed or runs out of time, the candle will disappear aswel. Candle's still cannot be placed within each others vision range.

W, Extinguish: Mana cost: 50 Cooldown: 15 seconds Active: Sham'a blows a strong gust from his lungs in a target direction, dealing magic damage (70 / 115 / 160 / 205 / 250 + 50% AP) in a cone in front of him. Targets suffering from stacks of wax are Lighted. If Extinguish hits a Candle, it will blow up, dealing 75 / 105 / 135 / 165 / 195 (+ 10% AP for every charge the Candle still had) in a 175 radius around the Candle, and will apply a stack of wax.

E, Waxing Force: Mana cost: 50 mana + 10 mana per attack Cooldown: 16 Toggle: Sham'a covers himself in magic wax, reducing all incoming damage by 5% / 10% / 15% / 20% / 25% for 6 seconds. Additionally, Sham'a now attacks with balls of wax in stead of fire, applying a stack of Wax on enemy champions with every hit. Stacks of Wax on enemies will slow them by 5% / 7,5% / 10% / 12,5% / 15%. Every stack of wax will stick for 3 seconds resetting after every succesive hit, eventually stunning them for 1.5 / 1.75 / 2 / 2.25 / 2.5 seconds after 4 stacks (visualised with the target being covered in wax). The stunned champion is then immune for this effect for 20 seconds. When targets with stacks of Wax are hit by any of Sham'as other abilities the stack will become "Lighted", dealing 40 / 70 / 100 / 130 / 160 (+ 10% AP per stack) magic damage over a period of 3 seconds and granting vision on that champion for the full duration. Lighted enemies grant True Sight in an area around them, revealing stealthed champions and traps instantly.

R, Eternal Light: Mana cost: 100 Cooldown: 180/140/100 seconds Passive: Sham'a's internal fire burns brighter with every inch of vision. For every ward or candle Sham'a has on the map, he gains 5% bonus AP. Active: Sham'a places a magic Candle near himself or a target ally (This candle is NOT a ward...) with a health of 5 / 6 / 7 hits (candle can also be hit by AoE abilities) and bind the targets life to that candle. While the Candle is active and the bound ally is within its effect range, it will keep the target champion from dying, even if its health drops to 0. If the targets health is 0 and it leaves the effect area, it wil die instantly.

Lore:

Report on Sham'a from "Legendary beings of Valoran." - By Candurill Gellius, schollar and historian at the Royal Acadamy of Demacia.

Shuriman texts speak of a tale of folklore, told by mothers and grandmothers to babes in their arms and little-ones in their beds. It is a tale about light, warmt and kindness... Ofcourse light has always been very important to the Shuriman people. They worshipped the sun and stars. They made fires to cook their meals and scare off wild animals. Grand chandeliers hang in extravagant dining halls and quaint hearths warmed the rooms of every old shack during the cold nights in the desert. It is told that there was once a candle maker and he was the best Shurima had to offer. How he loved his work. Every day he would make candles, big and small, magic or normal, white or blue, for all people that would have them. He didn’t ask much, nothing even if people had nothing to give. He saw it as his noble goal to fill the world with brightly lit candles to warm peoples hearts. A dark being however, had other plans. It wanted to snuff out all light and make peoples hearts cold and dark. Long had he watched the candle maker and reviled his work. And one night, he struck back... Without even the slightest warning, the candle-makers shop went up in flames, so fast that the other people could do nothing but watch as the fire consumed the whole building. Nobody got hurt, other then the kindly candle-maker that had been working there all day…. With tears in their eyes the people mourned the kind man. With sadness and grief, their hearts slowly turned cold. And with no candles to warm them, they became even colder and colder. A year went past until one day a figure was seen rummaging around through the rubble that was left of the house. No man could tell exactly what it was, only that it was not human. It was made out of golden wax, shone with a warming light and created candles, which it left out in the street for anyone to collect them. Slowly but surely, warmth returned to the people's hearts and the days became merrier and merrier. Many a man or woman in the town swore that it was the spirit of the old candle-maker, not content with letting his job of spreading light and warmth alone even after death. From that day on, the would be known as the kindly candle maker, Sham’a.

“Whether his heart is made out of gold or wax, it matters not. What maters is that its bigger then anyone has ever seen.” - Thankful woman.

Children's story version: Have you ever heard the story, my dear, about why we light, A little candle, next to our bed, to get us through the night. It al started long ago, on a chilly desert eve, With a poor woman, child and sickly husband, for which the former grieve. While hunting in the desert, the man had been too slow to draw, and in the fight for life that time, he pulled the shortest straw. With fatal wound he would leave the child in the lonely mothers care, For healing they did not have the gold, and hope they did not dare. That night the mother used the last tinder to light a fire To warm the father in his bed, the situation had grown dire. Cold soup there was for mother and child, filled with naught but scraps T’was not tasteful, I dare say, but it filled a mouth perhaps. But then, outside a warm light shone, which at night was mighty rare, And a jolly voice was heard, laughing and humming fair. “Knock knock knock” at the door was heard, the mothers brow was raised She walked over to the door and then outside she gazed. Naught but dark and nightly winds, greeted the poorly lass. But behind her, the child chuckled about something that came to pass. When she came back, to her surprise, the family had been blessed With candles everywhere, big and small, warming soup at their behest. She looked around for whom had brought this wonder in their midst And saw a light from husbands room, and heard a candle hissed. She ran to the room and saw there, a being pure and white made out of wax and light and warmth with a posture of average height. The creature pulled out a hair from fathers head and used it as a wick And placed it at the fathers bed, lighting it very quick. It then turned towards the mother, smiled, and said with jolly voice “Have no fear for your husband dear, he will live, rejoice!!” “As long as this candle burns next to him and keeps him light and warm” “Nothing on this living earth will do him any harm.” After uttering these final words the spirit disappeared And the woman cried of happiness, her husbands fate was cleared!! An thus, my child, when we go to bed we burn our candles bright, For then, the kindly candle maker, watches over us at night.

-From "The Kindly Candle Maker." Bedside rime from the southern parts of Demacia. Thought to have been based on the Shuriman Spirit of Light: Sham'a.

Quotes:

When chosen: "There are two ways of spreading light summoner; being the candle or the mirror that reflects it."

Moving: "On my way." "I'll bring a light." "Without delay." "I am needed elsewhere..." "Walking with a friend of the light is better than walking alone in the night." "I enjoy it when the world smiles; the more smiles, the warmer I am."

Attacking: "You force my hand!!" "Fireball!!" "Candles don't JUST warm..." "When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat." "It is not light that we need, but fire!"

Joke: Sham'a scratches his head, then breaks out laughing with the punchline. "What burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?...Neither!! They both burn SHORTER!!" "Light a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day...Light a man ON fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life!!!" "I had scented candles in my shop you know...No wonder everyone was so calm that day..."

Taunt: "You are like a candle in the wind...Completely useless..." "Blowing out someone else's candle doesn't make yours shine any brighter." (Enemy Nocturne) "There are dark shadows on this earth...But the light is stronger." (Allied Nocturne) "In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present." (Enemy Annie) "Your fire may burn strong...But it Brings nothing but darkness..." (Allied Annie) "It is nice to see a child with such fire in her heart." (Enemy Brand) "You are all the bad of fire, combined into one being..." or "I will Extinguish you..." (Enemy Leona) "The sun may rise...But it also sets. Thats when people light candles..." or "I Pick up where you fall short!!" (Allied Leona) "The sun is like a big, flying candle...I like it!!" (Any Taric) "Candles are truly outrageous..." (Enemy Diana) "Don't tell me the moon is shining; Does broken glass shine when light glints from it?" (Enemy Soraka) "The stars may guide you, but the stars aren't always visible..." or "My candles are like little stars that people can take with them...THAT is true guidance." (Allied Amumu) "When we are in sorrow, it is the light in our heart that keeps us company." (Any Azir) "Good to see you again sire...Do you still light a candle every night?" (Any Xerath) "Oh my...You were always a tormented child...It is sad to see you ended up like this..." (Any Renekton) "Do not seek to strife with your brother!! Follow the light and it will guide you back to sanity!!"

Since Sham'a is a spirit of light and warmth, he is the exact counterpart to Nocturne Nocturne. As such, his candles stay lit and allow reduced vision during Nocturnes ultimate ability. Sham'a will comment on this when Nocturne activates Paranoia by saying: "Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness."

When placing a healing candle: "Like fire, happiness never decreases by being shared."

When using Eternal Light on an ally: "Have no fear for your life my dear..."

38 Comments

Arry Ballen2 votes

Champions with an ' in their name usually are from the void. still sick concept.summoner 14

Candurill1 votes

{quoted}

Champions with an ' in their name usually are from the void. still sick concept.summoner 14

Oh i did not think that was like a rule :x it just looks better...Ah well...i can't change the title anyway XP Thanks for your feedback :)

Arry Ballen1 votes

it does indeed haha, np!

regonas2 votes

My friend here have some questions regarding your suggestion: http://i57.tinypic.com/2a6jz0i.png

Hella there. I smell this one could be a great shampion, but i wonder about some of his abilities. What range of yar R is and how far friendly shampion can go before candle broke? Can it work over the walls? How long wax from E stays on enemies, knaw what ya saing? If it stays for too long, you can abuse it for almost permanent slow. Isn't W is just too strang to counter support? They put a ward, you blew it away. Early game would be mucha hard for enemies. Oiso, can Q candles be destroyed? Will they be invisible to enemy team? Don't be mad, ya just asking.

Candurill1 votes

{quoted}

My friend here have some questions regarding your suggestion: http://i57.tinypic.com/2a6jz0i.png

Hella there. I smell this one could be a great shampion, but i wonder about some of his abilities. What range of yar R is and how far friendly shampion can go before candle broke? Can it work over the walls? How long wax from E stays on enemies, knaw what ya saing? If it stays for too long, you can abuse it for almost permanent slow. Isn't W is just too strang to counter support? They put a ward, you blew it away. Early game would be mucha hard for enemies. Oiso, can Q candles be destroyed? Will they be invisible to enemy team? Don't be mad, ya just asking.

Mad/ why would i be mad? :) I posted this for feedback didn't i?

As for your questions: His R's range is like a Janna ult...its big enough to walk around in but if the teamfight moves to far away, the subject wouldn't be able to follow unless he or she is healed. I should add that stat to the ability :) and the ablity is placed next to the target ally, like almost under it....so if the target can walk around the wall without going out of the candle's range, then yes it would work over walls.... Didn't i add the duration of the stack? i thought i did but apparently didn't XP its like 2 seconds or so, being refreshed with every new stack. Extinguish only destroys wards if they are VERY close to the start of the cone...like maybe 50 units (thats like melee range). So its rather hard to actually hit it. Yes his candles can be destroyed but only if the enemy comes close and blows them up, and yes they are visible to enemies.

I thank you for your feedback and will review my concept accordingly :P

regonas1 votes

http://i57.tinypic.com/2a6jz0i.png Ya glad ya could help.

Lord Caelistis1 votes

Wow, that's a really great idea! I feel that he's similar to Bard and that he could take a roaming approach to supporting with his candles, but he offers quite some variety and new ideas. You have my upvote!

Candurill1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Lord Caelistis,realm=EUW,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=xpNTiGL3,comment-id=0000,timestamp=2015-09-09T12:21:37.518+0000)

Wow, that's a really great idea! I feel that he's similar to Bard and that he could take a roaming approach to supporting with his candles, but he offers quite some variety and new ideas. You have my upvote!

Thank you :D Yea I figured there are some similarities to bard, though it was not my intention to do so... I hope he is different enough though XP Thanks for your upvote, i really appreciate your feedback!!

Simple Moon1 votes

As a whole I find it very creative, not a huge fan of the candle theme, but also wasn't a fan of bard. Great job on putting in the work!

Candurill1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Skeptic Hare,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=xpNTiGL3,comment-id=0001,timestamp=2015-09-09T12:32:39.888+0000)

As a whole I find it very creative, not a huge fan of the candle theme, but also wasn't a fan of bard. Great job on putting in the work!

Tastes differ indeed ^^ I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to react on my concept, even though the general theme does not really interest you :) I just figured that there are already so many killer or monster champions, that the league just needed a little bit of pure benevolence based on a simple concept :) and who doesn't like candles? (well maybe not like, but nobody hates them XP)

Simple Moon1 votes

Just not my cup of tea! But there are plenty of champions that fall under that category. I see your point as Sham'a being pure and it's a good idea. Reminds me of a bard or Braum, someone who is a "good guy support" unlike thresh etc. the only thing I would like to see is the ability for him to also play another roll. Much like how Tahm can jungle rather well.

Candurill1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Skeptic Hare,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=xpNTiGL3,comment-id=000100000000,timestamp=2015-09-09T12:53:53.167+0000)

Just not my cup of tea! But there are plenty of champions that fall under that category. I see your point as Sham'a being pure and it's a good idea. Reminds me of a bard or Braum, someone who is a "good guy support" unlike thresh etc. the only thing I would like to see is the ability for him to also play another roll. Much like how Tahm can jungle rather well.

I believe he would do very well in midlane aswel. As long as he upgrades his ward trinket he can get the buff from his passive even in midlane. His E damage scales with AP and with clever use of his burning candles he could do tremendous damage if he wanted. You are right that he would be best as support, but like some other supports (Tahm Kench or Lux for example) he can be played in other lanes aswel, granted you have some degree of skill ofcourse...

Opheriaux1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Skeptic Hare,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=xpNTiGL3,comment-id=000100000000,timestamp=2015-09-09T12:53:53.167+0000)

Just not my cup of tea! But there are plenty of champions that fall under that category. I see your point as Sham'a being pure and it's a good idea. Reminds me of a bard or Braum, someone who is a "good guy support" unlike thresh etc. the only thing I would like to see is the ability for him to also play another roll. Much like how Tahm can jungle rather well.

what if his spirit that came back was from the void, but he just resented it? just something that occured to me

BarryTheWolf1 votes

i maybe think he is a Little op 65% ap as bonus Health seems a Little crazy. (imagine full ap XD) but i still think its a werry nice idea, and i really like the refrences.

i don't think he reminds me of bard becouse this guy seems useful XP

Wicked burger1 votes

I didn't read the story, but I think this champion has a pretty good chance to get in league with some changes. Look at all the comments ;-) It was also interesting to read about for me =D Good job

SEKAI1 votes

{quoted} [shama.jpg]

Ah I remember this arsehole from Torchlight 2.

Candurill1 votes

{quoted}

Ah I remember this arsehole from Torchlight 2.

Haha XP tbh i only found the pic on the internet...is have no idea what its from XP

Delacare1 votes

So came here after checking Chayon and you're right I love Sham'a especially his Child's Story and his champion interactions.

Candurill1 votes

{quoted}

So came here after checking Chayon and you're right I love Sham'a especially his Child's Story and his champion interactions.

Thanks ^^ this one is my own personal favorite TBH ^^

ModThe Djinn1 votes

First things first...I love your lore. My only criticism there is that the story format and the feel seems more suited to a traditional fairy tale, whole the character is designed to fit into Shurima, which has a more mysterious, ancient, Egyptian feel to it. I might consider switching up his origin location, or trying to get a bit more of the djinni aesthetic into his story instead of simply the kindly hearth spirit, which is more aligned with Western myth (or Chinese/Japanese household spirits).


On to mechanics.

#PASSIVE

While i lovw the flavoe of it, your passive is concerning. Your HP is listed as PER SECOND, which I'm hoping is a typo: level 1 health regen is typically along the lines of 5-8 per FIVE seconds. Sham'a will be impossible to dislodge from lane. Even at 20 per 5 hp regen and 15 bonus resists that's a lot of early durability on a character. Probably too much. Consider scaling this based on level alone -- maybe 5 + character level or 5 + character level * 2 bonus resists, with the health regen being, say, a flat percentage bonus.

I'd also be more interested to see less hidden power. Things like bonus movement speed, bonus CDR, or extra spell effects instead of extra defenses, as those would create a bit more obvious a reward for the player, and a more obvious power boost for the enemies to notice.

Also, note that this actually DISCOURAGES warding, unless wards have to "burn" for a certain duration to grant the bonus. Without such a mechanic Sham'a wants to always carry enough wards that he can drop them at will, which means he isn't actively using them.

I do love the idea though, as well as the counter play the enemy has through red trinket.


#Q: BURNING CANDLES

Right off the bat, the healing on this is excessive: at max level this is 900 + 360% AP to a single ally. It simultaneously creates bad play patterns, as it encourages simply hugging the candle if used defensively, andcandle a bad target for the enemies if used offensively, since its always better to kill the enemy outright than target the candle. With a shorter duration, greater penalty for triggering it, and faster healing it MIGHT make a great ultimate, but I'm not sure I like it mechanically as a non-ultimate ability.

Maybe make it a ward with charges, that allows allies to click on it for a burst of health and movement speed, at the expense of the candle's health (or automatically the first time every X seconds an ally passes through - perhaps limited to one per X seconds, or once per ally per X seconds). Then maybe make his new passive "replaces wards with candles", so you don't need to give him as complicated apassive. He then has encouragement to light up the map, as it lets his allies access health and movement speed at key areas. Make part of his kit a greater ward limit and just see how it plays out with him as a master vision-granter...just be careful not to make his lane too safe in this case.

The offensive use IS pretty fun though. I'd probably reduce the damage slightly and have it grant vision of the target though: seems both very fitting and quite good for a support character.

A nice touch might be to make them always visible (a good balance to the ease with which he can ward up the map) and easy to destroy (3-4 autos), but put a caveat that enemies who destroy one are revealed for 4 seconds, and maybe slightly slowed.


MORE TO COME LATER

In the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts on my input thus far.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

#...continued from previous review

#W: EXTINGUISH

I really love this visual, although it's odd that he has to blow a flame to use an ability called extinguish.

The interaction with his E is cool, but sacrificing the stun isn't, especially since the stun is difficult to get. I'm also not sure the wax concept fits thematically with a Djinn of light and hope: I get that it is candle-themed, but I'm not quite sold.

As-is, I'd recommend just allowing the stun to persist. I think then its a functional and fun ability.

To really sell me on the concept though? I'd love to see it extinguish the ward candles I mentioned previously, perhaps healing or granting a shield to allies in the AoE while also, say, reducing the vision or revealing and dealing extra damage to enemies caught in the empowered AoE. Then you have some cool interactions, and more potential utility from your candles, which you could put on a charge system so you could usually keep one in reserve for a drop / Extinguish combo. I personally think that's stronger design than the stun interaction, since you're not as time-gated on when you can use this ability.


#E: WAXING FORCE

I think this is the weakest ability, both thematically and mechanically. It takes a large number of attacks to trigger (5+ seconds for 5 hits), has a tough choice to make in whether to attack enemies or allies, and is a rather a passive ability on a kit that already has one overly long cooldowns in the Q.

It's also a lot of quietly invisible power: 25% isn't enough to be immediately obvious, but IS enough to make a big difference. It's overall a cool concept...I'm just not sure it fits the character especially well, flows particularly well in-game, OR fits the kit super well.


#ULTIMATE: LIFE LIGHT

First things first: the name could be much cooler, because the thematics are incredible. Enduring Flame or Eternal Light might be good alternatives. I'd suggest making it "the champion's health cannot drop below 1" though, just for clarity. I'd also lower the cooldown as you rank up the ability: 180/160/140 or even 180/140/100 might work, depending on how strong the ability proves to be...as long as the candle appears fairly close to the target. Maybe make it X (where X is 350 or less) distance away from the target along a vector towards Sham'a, or X distance away from you in the direction of the mouse if it's self-targetted. Then just make sure the AoE is big enough to make that function well.

I don't really like the ultimate passive though. I get what you're going for...it just doesn't feel exciting. Maybe use the ultimate passive as the place to increase his cap on wards / candles instead?


#FINAL THOUGHTS

Criticism aside, this IS one of the best developed concepts I've seen on the boards. It's clear you love the idea, and that always leads to better design. I'd tighten up your concept though: he's currently a roaming mage / support / tank with healing, CC, and vision, which is a lot to put on a single character. I personally think the idea will really blossom if you push it a bit more in a specific direction: I'd choose the niche of a roaming vision-granting support that has multiple interactions with its own wards.

Fantastic job, when all is said and done.

Also, if you're curious, I'd be happy to take a spin at this concept and show you an idea of the direction I'd personally like to see it pushed in. You really made an inspiring champion here, even if I still think it could use a tiny bit more polish.

--The Djinn

Candurill1 votes

[{quoted}](name=The Djinn,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=xpNTiGL3,comment-id=0009,timestamp=2015-11-22T01:06:05.591+0000)

#...continued from previous review

#W: EXTINGUISH

I really love this visual, although it's odd that he has to blow a flame to use an ability called extinguish.

The interaction with his E is cool, but sacrificing the stun isn't, especially since the stun is difficult to get. I'm also not sure the wax concept fits thematically with a Djinn of light and hope: I get that it is candle-themed, but I'm not quite sold.

As-is, I'd recommend just allowing the stun to persist. I think then its a functional and fun ability.

To really sell me on the concept though? I'd love to see it extinguish the ward candles I mentioned previously, perhaps healing or granting a shield to allies in the AoE while also, say, reducing the vision or revealing and dealing extra damage to enemies caught in the empowered AoE. Then you have some cool interactions, and more potential utility from your candles, which you could put on a charge system so you could usually keep one in reserve for a drop / Extinguish combo. I personally think that's stronger design than the stun interaction, since you're not as time-gated on when you can use this ability.


#E: WAXING FORCE

I think this is the weakest ability, both thematically and mechanically. It takes a large number of attacks to trigger (5+ seconds for 5 hits), has a tough choice to make in whether to attack enemies or allies, and is a rather a passive ability on a kit that already has one overly long cooldowns in the Q.

It's also a lot of quietly invisible power: 25% isn't enough to be immediately obvious, but IS enough to make a big difference. It's overall a cool concept...I'm just not sure it fits the character especially well, flows particularly well in-game, OR fits the kit super well.


#ULTIMATE: LIFE LIGHT

First things first: the name could be much cooler, because the thematics are incredible. Enduring Flame or Eternal Light might be good alternatives. I'd suggest making it "the champion's health cannot drop below 1" though, just for clarity. I'd also lower the cooldown as you rank up the ability: 180/160/140 or even 180/140/100 might work, depending on how strong the ability proves to be...as long as the candle appears fairly close to the target. Maybe make it X (where X is 350 or less) distance away from the target along a vector towards Sham'a, or X distance away from you in the direction of the mouse if it's self-targetted. Then just make sure the AoE is big enough to make that function well.

I don't really like the ultimate passive though. I get what you're going for...it just doesn't feel exciting. Maybe use the ultimate passive as the place to increase his cap on wards / candles instead?


#FINAL THOUGHTS

Criticism aside, this IS one of the best developed concepts I've seen on the boards. It's clear you love the idea, and that always leads to better design. I'd tighten up your concept though: he's currently a roaming mage / support / tank with healing, CC, and vision, which is a lot to put on a single character. I personally think the idea will really blossom if you push it a bit more in a specific direction: I'd choose the niche of a roaming vision-granting support that has multiple interactions with its own wards.

Fantastic job, when all is said and done.

Also, if you're curious, I'd be happy to take a spin at this concept and show you an idea of the direction I'd personally like to see it pushed in. You really made an inspiring champion here, even if I still think it could use a tiny bit more polish.

--The Djinn

Thank you for the feedback :D You've named a few things i was thinking of myself, but couldn't really think of a better alternative, so you really helped me with that ^^

The lore thing is indeed a bit "western style" for the likes of a Shuriman spirit (plus his concept is based on a latin american character of folklore aswell as a jinn...so theres a lot of influences XP). The thing is that i had written the poem first and only later i connected him to Shurima (because he is a spirit of light, i figured that Shurima would be most fitting) but i hadn't thought of changing the poem yet XP. It's something i will be doing indeed :) Although the base story will stay the same (the sick dad, the poor mom and Sham'a saving the mans life), ill probably change the flavor a bit.

The health regen and defences from his wards are one of the latest changes i made to him. He used to be a mage/support character first, but because of the tank meta at the time i wanted to give him a more tanky feel (this is where the R passive comes from aswel). You are completely right about the healing...and im going to revise the whole passive :) (not the base idea but the bonusses)

My only comback to your critique for his Q is that the champion would have to stand within the candles range for 72 seconds...which i had thought wouldn't be something anyone would do...But you are right that the effects could have been more imaginative and are a bit on the strong side. I will review the ability accordingly :)

There was a reason for me not making Extinguish intractable with his Q... I just can't remember why XP I guess because i already made it like a first aid station that i didn't want to like blow it up...but you are right that it would be way more awesome to have an interaction with it. I also thought that giving a bonus effect to stunned people without cancelling the stun would be too strong...I will take a look at the concept with your ideas in mind :)

The first version of Sham'a was only able to attack enemies. When i wanted to make him more tanky, i changed it up and gave him some defenses plus a shield for allies. It also didn't have a limited time for itself but was a mana per attack based toggled ability. I must say that i too liked this ability the least. I will be changing it in the future. The wax theme stays though ;P it has become a big part of what i like about Sham'a so maybe ill change up his visual instead.

I thought that "Life Light" would give it a bit of a cutesy ring to the ultimate. But you are right that a cooler name could be chosen. I also wanted to note that i created this champion waaaaaaaay before Kindred was even in the making (probably) but due to kindreds ultimate being so similar i had been thinking of changing it altogether. Dyou think thats necessary? Also: what actually would be the difference of dropping to 1 or 0? your dead when you leave either way XP and i kinda wanted to create a need tos tay inside the candles range...like your life actually depended on it. But thats just me...its probably not the best idea indeed...

Thanks for your awesome feedback :D This will really help me make it an even better concept, even though Riot will never see it... This champion has always had a special place in my heart and seeing it slowly become the perfect idea is really awesome :P taking your spin is not really necessary...maybe i could use some help with the base stats of the champion, but i really want to try making things work myself :) not that i don't want your ideas!! So if you have any further suggestions, feel free to mention them :D

IF you have the time...maybe could you take a look at the other concepts within the Storybook series? They aren't all as worked out as Sham'a but i really want them to be my best works :) Ofcourse if you'd rather keep it at one concept per person that asks then im completely ok with that ^^

Lastly id like to apologies for any bad english spelling or grammer. Its not my native language so even though im nigh to fluent in it, i do make mistakes...

Candurill1 votes

[{quoted}](name=The Djinn,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=xpNTiGL3,comment-id=0009,timestamp=2015-11-22T01:06:05.591+0000)

#...continued from previous review

#W: EXTINGUISH

I really love this visual, although it's odd that he has to blow a flame to use an ability called extinguish.

The interaction with his E is cool, but sacrificing the stun isn't, especially since the stun is difficult to get. I'm also not sure the wax concept fits thematically with a Djinn of light and hope: I get that it is candle-themed, but I'm not quite sold.

As-is, I'd recommend just allowing the stun to persist. I think then its a functional and fun ability.

To really sell me on the concept though? I'd love to see it extinguish the ward candles I mentioned previously, perhaps healing or granting a shield to allies in the AoE while also, say, reducing the vision or revealing and dealing extra damage to enemies caught in the empowered AoE. Then you have some cool interactions, and more potential utility from your candles, which you could put on a charge system so you could usually keep one in reserve for a drop / Extinguish combo. I personally think that's stronger design than the stun interaction, since you're not as time-gated on when you can use this ability.


#E: WAXING FORCE

I think this is the weakest ability, both thematically and mechanically. It takes a large number of attacks to trigger (5+ seconds for 5 hits), has a tough choice to make in whether to attack enemies or allies, and is a rather a passive ability on a kit that already has one overly long cooldowns in the Q.

It's also a lot of quietly invisible power: 25% isn't enough to be immediately obvious, but IS enough to make a big difference. It's overall a cool concept...I'm just not sure it fits the character especially well, flows particularly well in-game, OR fits the kit super well.


#ULTIMATE: LIFE LIGHT

First things first: the name could be much cooler, because the thematics are incredible. Enduring Flame or Eternal Light might be good alternatives. I'd suggest making it "the champion's health cannot drop below 1" though, just for clarity. I'd also lower the cooldown as you rank up the ability: 180/160/140 or even 180/140/100 might work, depending on how strong the ability proves to be...as long as the candle appears fairly close to the target. Maybe make it X (where X is 350 or less) distance away from the target along a vector towards Sham'a, or X distance away from you in the direction of the mouse if it's self-targetted. Then just make sure the AoE is big enough to make that function well.

I don't really like the ultimate passive though. I get what you're going for...it just doesn't feel exciting. Maybe use the ultimate passive as the place to increase his cap on wards / candles instead?


#FINAL THOUGHTS

Criticism aside, this IS one of the best developed concepts I've seen on the boards. It's clear you love the idea, and that always leads to better design. I'd tighten up your concept though: he's currently a roaming mage / support / tank with healing, CC, and vision, which is a lot to put on a single character. I personally think the idea will really blossom if you push it a bit more in a specific direction: I'd choose the niche of a roaming vision-granting support that has multiple interactions with its own wards.

Fantastic job, when all is said and done.

Also, if you're curious, I'd be happy to take a spin at this concept and show you an idea of the direction I'd personally like to see it pushed in. You really made an inspiring champion here, even if I still think it could use a tiny bit more polish.

--The Djinn

Hey, you are probably VERY bussy right now with everyone wanting your help and all...But I would love it if you took a look to the changes i made to Sham'a :) I believe that his kit makes more sense now, and so does his lore and appearance. I added some base stats (actually just copied them from Ryze...i figured that he is most like what i want Sham'a to be). His Passive gives him different bonusses now, in stead of defences and health regen. His Q's candles now lack a timer but have charges that can be consumed by allied champions. They can also no longer be placed within each others range of vision (to stop people from placing all three of them next to eachother for OP lane dominance). His W now interacts with his candles AND with people that have stacks of Wax. The candles explode and deal damage based on how much charges it had. His E now only reduces incoming damage for sham'a himself and does not do extra damage by itself. Damaging enemies with stacks of wax with abilities or normal auto attacks now light enemies like a candle and granting vision on them for the duration of the stack (even through stealth). His ultimate now stops allies from dropping below 1 hp. It also gives Sham'a some bonus AP for every candle or ward he ahs on the map (to encourage placing them).

I hope these changes are for the better in stead of making it worse ^^'

Candurill1 votes

Bump

XerKB1011 votes

Awesome idea keep up the good work :D Your local noob

regonas1 votes

{quoted}

Haha XP you'd almost think he was indeed....But nah...

http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/thumb/8/8e/607Litwick.png/250px-607Litwick.png This is way cuter anyway ;P

Digimon > pokemon. :D

Candurill1 votes

{quoted}

Digimon > pokemon. :D

Digimon < Pokemon. :D (i think this is something we will never agree on)

regonas1 votes

{quoted}

Digimon < Pokemon. :D (i think this is something we will never agree on)

Well, we can always compare :D

  1. Games. Digimon have more than 7 different games: from fighting games, to card games, to rpgs, to mmorpg. Pokemon gave 1 game.
  2. Anime. Digimon have many different series, some better than other, but each and everyone is original. Pokemon have one series where never growing MC does same thing over and over and over and over and over again.
  3. Manga. Pretty much similar.
  4. Popularity. Well, Pokemon is more popular for some reason.
  5. Sexy content. Angewomon vs Ladydevimon in Digimon side. Fat pikachu in Pokemon side.
  6. Songs. Always Digimon. Will give examples below.

Final score 4:1. Well, number never lie :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJvpOrzcGbI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eOJsm9ubGk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXIWNxq9JHE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lroVplIunLE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSEt24t2ETw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpTYeA3HH90

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFILHKmCfoo

Also, which pokemon can be at least a little bit as epic as these digimons:

https://k31.kn3.net/taringa/6/4/8/5/0/5/7/adrian_t_13/075.jpg

http://www4.picturepush.com/photo/a/7035742/img/7035742.jpg

http://image.gamer.ne.jp/news/2013/20130215/00561b94ceaba6bb247df96e6b0b732dd2dc/o/1.jpg

http://static1.gamespot.com/uploads/original/536/5360430/2950317-beezlebumon-blast-mode_westernexclusive.png

http://digitalmado.com/event/image/de113/iracon/ilast/iracon18.jpg

Candurill1 votes

{quoted}

Well, we can always compare :D

  1. Games. Digimon have more than 7 different games: from fighting games, to card games, to rpgs, to mmorpg. Pokemon gave 1 game.
  2. Anime. Digimon have many different series, some better than other, but each and everyone is original. Pokemon have one series where never growing MC does same thing over and over and over and over and over again.
  3. Manga. Pretty much similar.
  4. Popularity. Well, Pokemon is more popular for some reason.
  5. Sexy content. Angewomon vs Ladydevimon in Digimon side. Fat pikachu in Pokemon side.
  6. Songs. Always Digimon. Will give examples below.

Final score 4:1. Well, number never lie :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJvpOrzcGbI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eOJsm9ubGk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXIWNxq9JHE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lroVplIunLE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSEt24t2ETw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpTYeA3HH90

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFILHKmCfoo

Also, which pokemon can be at least a little bit as epic as these digimons:

https://k31.kn3.net/taringa/6/4/8/5/0/5/7/adrian_t_13/075.jpg

http://www4.picturepush.com/photo/a/7035742/img/7035742.jpg

http://image.gamer.ne.jp/news/2013/20130215/00561b94ceaba6bb247df96e6b0b732dd2dc/o/1.jpg

http://static1.gamespot.com/uploads/original/536/5360430/2950317-beezlebumon-blast-mode_westernexclusive.png

http://digitalmado.com/event/image/de113/iracon/ilast/iracon18.jpg

Pokemon did not give out one game. You have the standerd pokemon series. There is Pokemon rumble, Pokesnap, Pokemon stadium series, Pokemon mystery dungeon and later next year Pokken tournament will come to WiiU. I'm sure im forgetting some games. But yea thats not just "One" game ;P

The pokemon anime does indeed not win from digimon in originality. But somehow it worked and became popular...tbh i don't watch it anymore.

Manga and Popularity is clear.

Sexy digimon? Why would that even be a factor? These series's demographic is children from the age of 8 to like...14 or something...they aren't looking at shit like that yet. I really don't think this is even relevant....why would sexy-ness make it better?

The OG pokemon theme song is way better then the digimon songs...but pokemon has never made any song beter after that so yea...

regonas1 votes

{quoted}

Done a bit of research and now i see that pokemon indeed have more than a single game with different colors. My bad here. Still, digimon games look way better and i presume are much more fun. I can't say for sure that all pokemeon games are wrose than digimon, because here in Europe Wii doesn't exists. Playstation and Xbox were only consoles i ever had, because they were most popular here.

Well, yea, sexy things aren't for kids. Buttttttttt, Simpsons aren't for kids, but most countries show then during kids hours. My little ponies are for kids, but mostly grown ups watch them. Also, some of Digimon 1 and Digimon 3 themes are definitely more suited for N-15 audience.

And for a song, it might be you personal preference, but most of my given examples sounds at least a little bit better.

Just surrender, man :D Digimon is just better.

Candurill1 votes

{quoted}

Done a bit of research and now i see that pokemon indeed have more than a single game with different colors. My bad here. Still, digimon games look way better and i presume are much more fun. I can't say for sure that all pokemeon games are wrose than digimon, because here in Europe Wii doesn't exists. Playstation and Xbox were only consoles i ever had, because they were most popular here.

Well, yea, sexy things aren't for kids. Buttttttttt, Simpsons aren't for kids, but most countries show then during kids hours. My little ponies are for kids, but mostly grown ups watch them. Also, some of Digimon 1 and Digimon 3 themes are definitely more suited for N-15 audience.

And for a song, it might be you personal preference, but most of my given examples sounds at least a little bit better.

Just surrender, man :D Digimon is just better.

Well that is weird because i have both a wii AND a wiiu and i live in The Netherlands (which is in europe FYI) ;D

True about the age group...but i still don't see why something is "a better game/franchise" for having sexy stuff in it...I dislike over sexualisation for the sake of marketing (especially on woman...and no im not a woman i'm a man...and no i don't have a fedora and say m'lady, im gay). I saw a post recently on these boards complaining about illaoi's lack of sexyness and if riot could please change her....i was really grossed out by that cus i love illaoi just like she is...but yea this is just me and if you think sexyness is a redeeming quality for games like Digimon or Pokemon then thats your preference ^^

The OG pokemon song for me brings a big load of nostalgia with it. This makes it the ebst song ever...period...i have never been in to digimon...i saw a few episodes on tv but never played the games. I guess it never really took off in The Netherlands like it might have done where you are from (i have never seen digimon on Dutch tv...the episodes i saw where on Singaporean tv where i had lived for a few years of my childhood).

I'm not surrendering ^^ i think we will never agree about this. For me pokemon is the best and for you digimon is...and frankly i don't think there needs to be a winner ^^

regonas1 votes

{quoted}

We can agree that digimon is better, but you like pokemon more :D

Candurill1 votes

{quoted}

We can agree that digimon is better, but you like pokemon more :D

Haha XP no. I could never find Digimon beter then pokemon :) cus it isn't.

regonas1 votes

{quoted}

Haha XP no. I could never find Digimon beter then pokemon :) cus it isn't.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gqvFgo-sS0

:DD

Candurill1 votes

Bump :3

Candurill1 votes

Added a different picture :D

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