Evelynn's Identity Crisis

: Look at all the awesome new skins we've got!

: Someone's coming. Ugh. It's Evelynn.

: Hey guys, I was wondering, why you all get these awesome looking skins and all I got in 4 years was a cheap 750 excuse for a skin?

: Wow, you seriously don't know?

: What do you mean?

: They don't give you skins because you have no identity.

: Wait, what? What does it even mean?

: It means, Evelynn, that nobody knows who the hell are you.

: But I thought mystery was my identity!

: Ha! No. No it's not your identity. Becase you have none. IronStylus said so himself.

: He did?

: Yeah, he did. And most of the community doesn't know how to play you so there's that.

: But I don't understand. Not like you Tryndamere have any identity either. You're just a half naked man with a giant sword, who spins around, yells and heals himself. It doesn't make any freaking sense to me.

: She has a point, Trynd.

: Look who's talking. Look at me, I'm an angel who's wearing armor. I have a sword and I throw red bubbles at people to make them slow. Much deep lore right there.

: Don't you dare talk to me like that or I'll purge you with my divine slow.

: Well that still doesn't explain why am I chosen specifically as someone who doesn't deserve skins because of no identity.

: Don't worry, Eve, you'll be fine. They reworked Sion and he's just fine now.

: KILL. ME.

: But what about Jax? Nobody knows who the hell he is and he's not being reworked!

: Don't worry, Riot already has plans to rework him as a biker mouse from Mars. Just imagine how many skins we're gonna sell.

: Wait, what?

: ...