Why do I even try?

Doesn't matter what I do, who I play, how well I do, none of that. I still lose.

Doesn't matter how much I bitch and moan and compain about Riot being a greedy, fucked up company, because they will continue doing so thanks to morons that enable them -- and those morons don't listen to reason or know any better.

Doesn't matter how much fun I have playing any champ, because only braindead clickers and money makers are allowed to be viable.

Doesn't matter that I used to find enjoyment in video games, because my life is utter shit anyway, and even if video games became enjoyable and well-made again, I'd still be miserable.

Doesn't matter that people tell me I'd make a good streamer, because I'm r%%%%%ed or something and twitch out all the time and never talk.

Doesn't matter that I have no friends, because I'd scare them away anyway.

Doesn't matter that I have never been on a date, because I'm going to end up alone anyway.

Doesn't matter that I want to do something creative as a career, because I have zero talent.

I don't know why I bother trying at all, with anything. There's actually no point to it. It's like I'm insane, and keep trying things over and over, expecting some kind of different result than the ones I've been putting up with for over two decades now. I'd like to be actually, genuinely happy just once in life, just to know what it feels like... but I know that's not likely to happen.