Open Letter to Parents of League of Legends Players
This is an online game. In most cases, your child is playing with real people. Please take a moment to understand how this game's person-to-person interaction functions. In the past, I have seen numerous stories of children who routinely disconnect mid-game because it's bedtime, or their parents decide that they've played enough for the day. Some of these stories have come from parents themselves, proudly stating that they are firm about making their children stop playing at a specific time.
**While it is admirable that you are teaching children some responsibility to schedules, please stop neglecting to teach them responsibility to other people. ** Unless your child is playing a Custom Game, his actions will permanently affect the statistics of up to 9 other people. Don't enforce behavior that involves disregarding other people. Do you want your child being callous to people in face-to-face situations too?
The average game of League of Legends lasts over 30 minutes. Many last close to an hour. When a game has begun, players have implicitly committed their time to each other until the game ends.
If you have given your child a strict cutoff time for play, do not allow him to begin a game if he has less than an hour left.
- Bedtime in 30 minutes? Don't allow him to start a new game.
- Dinner in 45 minutes? Don't allow him to start a new game.
If a game is in progress, do not interrupt it unless it is an emergency. You are affecting up to 10 people, not just your child.
- Feel like checking your e-mail on the same computer? Please wait until the game is over so you don't completely ruin things for the real people on your child's team.
- Is a game that started 90 minutes before bedtime somehow still in progress at 87 minutes? Please allow him to finish the match so you don't completely ruin things for the real people on your child's team. Games almost never last that long, and if people lose due to a teammate quitting after spending that much time on a match, they are likely to be more upset than usual.
Now you're probably thinking, "But what if my child takes advantage of me and starts a game 5 minutes before bedtime because now I'll feel guilty about making him quit a game in progress?" I have an answer for that. Are you ready for it? It's a two parter.
- Let him finish the game. This sounds like you're letting your child walk all over you, but please just let the game finish normally and follow through with step 2.
- Ground him. You're the parent. Don't let him play League for a while. If your kid tries to exploit you, you don't have to stand for it. Step 1 is just about showing courtesy to other people and being responsible to the team. However, your child should definitely learn that there are consequences for all actions.
If you are a parent and can't figure out why this is a problem, take some time to read how people react to children prematurely abandoning games.
If you know any parents who make their kids leave mid-game on a whim, please direct them to this thread.
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Update (Feb 16):
First off, holy shit. That's a lot of activity. I didn't expect that Reddit link, but I'm not complaining.
When I posted this, I was hoping to get a little debate flowing. I decided to avoid any input for a week since I knew it was potentially a self-sustaining topic and I wanted people discussing their views, not discussing me. That said, some people are basing their arguments on faulty assumptions of the person who wrote this and the motivation behind it, so here's some info.
- I'm over 30. This isn't the rant of a kid who got tossed off the computer.
- I'm unranked. This isn't about blaming my tier on leavers. If I cared about my rank, I'd have a rank.
- As some people figured out, the issue isn't really LoL. Tying it to LoL gives it a common reference point to engage everyone here.
- The suggestions given are not presented with the expectation that parents let everything take a backseat to a game in progress.
Parents are responsible for their children's development. Some of the lessons taught are directly explained (e.g., look both ways before crossing a street), while others are learned by example (e.g., habits). In the LoL scenario, a parent constantly cutting a game in progress sets an example which suggests that other people's time doesn't matter (yes, this is an extreme view, and I will address that*). The alternate action of waiting sets a different example which suggests that commitment is binding. Now, unless you're of the opinion that other people's time is worthless (a valid opinion, although many claim to oppose it), there's a clear winner between the two suggestions.
* In most cases, this is obviously not the lesson learned, but picking an extreme and declaring the other option "wrong" incites responses. Many, many responses, as it turns out.
Ideally, parents wouldn't boot their kids off mid-game, time wouldn't be wasted, Lux could explain double rainbows to Paul Velasquez, and everyone would be happy. But let's be honest, reality is not ideal. There will always be reasonable causes to interrupt a game.
So what the heck was the point?
Context. Circumstances. These are things parents should consider constantly. Adopting a Zero Tolerance approach is lazy and counterproductive. Awareness and guidance (this includes punishments) through situational consideration take more effort, but your child will be better off for it.
Did any parents read this? Obviously, yes. Some responded. Some agreed, some disagreed, some got downright defensive. The awesome part? The explanations. Regardless of opinion, taking the time to state your position and why means you've given some thought to the issue. Parental awareness? Yes, please.
A few of my favorites:
A mom
Personally as a Mom and Wife I understand the concept. If perhaps more parents played the games with there kids and see It would be easier. But as for me Yeah I let my kids or husband :D finish out there match prior to dinner or bed time. And its not just with league either my Oldest son does more TF2 than LoL And the rule for my kids for bed time around here.. well They stop playing games around 30mins to an hour before bedtime then there is no issue of oh hang on mom I just need to finish this up..
a dad
I have kids, they are 12 and 10, they are named Rielly and Zoe.
Rielly, my son, is 12 and loves to play league of legends. He has been told that I get off of work at 7PM every day so if its after 6PM he is not allowed to start a new game in case I need the computer. He doesn't get to play video games during the week at all unless all of his homework is done and there are no video games after 7PM during the week because that is family time. On the weekend he is allowed to play up to 3-4 games a day. Before he plays he is required to check with his mother or I to make sure there is time.
Zoe, my daughter, is 10 and plays mostly on the WiiU because she is not really into League but she plays the crap out of Monster Hunter 3U. Hunts in that game can take up to 45min. She has the exact same guide lines as my son with the exception that if she can get through more hunts on the weekend its allowed because some of them are much shorter.
Why do I do all of this? Mostly because they are goram kids and as their parent I knew that when I decided to have fun sexy times with their mom I was potentially taking on a huge responsibility. Turns out I have double the responsibility as I have two kids.
And before there are snide comments about how I am probably some work from home or skum bag non working dad I will let you know... I work 40-50 hours a week as a manager at a cable company, I am going back to school at night (1/2 time) so I am not stuck their for the rest of my life, I play ~10 matches of league a week (not a lot and I know I am forever Wood 5), I am also a community manager for a website, and I personally stream 2 nights a week myself.
The reality is that being a parent is hard work, probably the hardest work one will ever have to do. And shoving kids off into another room to play video games until the computer is needed or decide its time to scream at them and tell them to go to bed because tomorrow is another crap day at a crap job and the only control that exists is over the poor kids who had no choice of who they were born to is no way to parent.
So as a parent I am here to say it is possible to follow the OP guidelines. It is not easy and if somebody is a single parent it gets exponentially harder. But, being a parent is the hardest, and most rewarding thing, you will probably ever do... so deal with it.
and someone who disagrees with the original post
But it's not my responsibility for punishing them for breaking other peoples' rules. They're following the rules I set for them, so for me to punish them would be wrong. The reality is that it is a parent's job to prepare their child for the world. In the world, the body whose rules you nbreak will punish you. Children should learn the REAL consequences of breaking rules, not 'fake' consequences.
That's real parenting. I would explain to the kid that if he leaves games he may lose his account and will almost certainly be punished as a result of Riot's rules... and then let him make a choice about how he wishes to do it. And I will only punish him if he breaks MY rules.
As for the PA comic, I laughed. I was disappointed that they got it wrong, but oh well. Not everyone gets a PA comic!
