The More You Know

How I imagine a conversation going if I could catch someone before queueing...

"Hey. Yeah, you. Don't queue up yet. I wanted to talk to you first. Is this a ranked game you're going into?" "yeah, why?" "It is huh, you looking to win?" "of course it's ranked" "Then how come you're Filling?" "I'm fine in any role" "Fine doesn't win games. You said you wanted to win." "Yeah but I'm better than most at Top and Jungle, I'll be fine" "How do you know? What if they counter you?" "Voli is sleeper OP, we're going to be fine." "This says you haven't played Voli in over a year." "He's O.P. it's going to be fine." "How are you going to carry that ADC who builds straight AS?" "How do you know that's going to happen" "I don't. But it's ranked, you should expect someone to completely suck and feed" "I choose to stay positive" "You've been banned twice for raging" "Fuck you" "Yeah see. And you rage because you can't carry Cpt. Spaghetti Noodle down there" "It's not my fault he's garbage, his support should take more CC." "This is ranked. It is your fault. You should expect a 6v4 in ranked and play accordingly. Take that good-time Charlie shit to normals" "Why should I have to carry the team?" "Everyone does. You plan for that because you might be the deadweight this game. You want an ADC who knows their build, don't you?" "Yeah." "Right, you want that so you can fuck around on this stupid teddy bear, but you're not expecting to be dead weight. You've fed before unintentionally, haven't you." "My jungle wouldn't gank for me." "Probably because he was expecting you to not be garbage. But you were. Because you were having a good time." "I just don't get..." "No. You don't. You can do whatever you want, but if I were you, I'd only go into ranked, sober, caffinated, read up, and warmed up." "And do what, play the same champ every game?" "Yes, that's how you win." "But that's boring" "Who said ranked was fun? You show up to win. Fun is for normals" "But normals don't matter." "Yeah, that's why you get to fuck around in there. Play a new champ, have fun. But in Ranked, people are showing up with two expectations: Everyone's trying to win; and despite that, one of you is going to suck pretty hard." "Ok, so how do we end this without looking like an after school special?" "I don't actually know. I would guess you say something that makes you sounds brilliant." "Uh...'I've made MOBAFire my home page?' How that?" "Get out."