How to not have emotions while playing games?

Niyumi·Apr 25, 2017·1 votes·238 views

Title. I get really into whatever I do, be that gaming, or art, or a movie, or anything. But, that means I yell at League occasionally. Problem is, my dad is a fucking freak, and actually beats me any time I make a noise or have emotions.

I can't afford living by myself, and I have no friends, so I can't stay with anyone. I can't stay with my family since my dad controls them all with his asshole-ness. So my only option is to just not have emotions while gaming or doing anything.

So how can I play League and just silently sit there, no matter what bullshit is going on?

3 Comments

69469238DEL1Apr 25, 20171 votes

Wow, I'm sorry to hear about the dad beatings. Sounds like we have similar fathers. I always just held everything in, but I hear that it isn't a healthy way to live. Beat on a pillow maybe?

NiyumiApr 25, 20171 votes

I'm really considering calling the cops on him, since he often threatens to kill me, leaves me with scars, and all that. But I would go insane living alone because of my stupid anxiety, and I don't want my entire family to hate me.

I usually just hold everything in too, to the point that people call me a robot, but every now and then I slip up, and every time I do, he has a little tantrum. Beating on a pillow wouldn't help, since it's nothing I really control. Like, say a Graves walks up and one shots me or something, I'd just go, "Wooooow!" or something like that.

I just need to somehow stay a robot, and stay disconnected from everything I do.

sheldonbunnyApr 25, 20171 votes

{quoted}

I'm really considering calling the cops on him, since he often threatens to kill me, leaves me with scars, and all that. But I would go insane living alone because of my stupid anxiety, and I don't want my entire family to hate me.

I usually just hold everything in too, to the point that people call me a robot, but every now and then I slip up, and every time I do, he has a little tantrum. Beating on a pillow wouldn't help, since it's nothing I really control. Like, say a Graves walks up and one shots me or something, I'd just go, "Wooooow!" or something like that.

I just need to somehow stay a robot, and stay disconnected from everything I do.

Abuse is never ok. You do not have to take it. You need to report him to the authorities. You are more important than your family's feelings over a violent abuser.

I understand the anxiety, but if it's to the degree you are being scarred and he threatens your life, it has gone too far.

Being a robot is no way to live. We are meant to experience a full range of emotion. You and your emotions should not be censored or stunted.