Gettin A Little Freaky

Here's the idea, the whole 'Cheesiest Pick Up Lines' got me thinking... so let's create a little romance. Keep it LoL, and keep it as clean as possible... while still being dirty (aka don't cuss, this is the LoL boards):

I thought you were Ahri when you charmed me, but when you dove my tower I realized you were more like Janna as you blew my mind. Now Lay Down Your Arms, because you have me Rock Solid, and slip onto my Mushroom. Now I Will Guide You, and your body is A Whole World to Toy With. I love being with you because it Sounds Dangerous... God, I'm In! My Blade is Yours, and Your Skills Aren't Inferior... I Know My Purpose, and there is No Looking Back. No More Hesitation, Time is Wasting... Mix Mix Swirl Mix... You Never Stood a Chance. Float On up here, Let Me Help You... NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM... mmmm... That Tasted Purple.

(fin)