Kalista Comics, Volume I
http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/images/14/nov/kalista-1.jpg
This started when I realized that Kalista is supposed to be offering the vengeful a "grim choice" to sacrifice their life, even their soul, to take revenge on those who have betrayed them…but in-game, she actually just kind of shoves a spear through you and makes you her new ult.
I've gathered together my Kalista comics from the following threads:
Bonus material:
hi veigar
Who the hell are you?
im kallista
kalista*
from shado ilses
Never heard of you.
im new
lookin 4 friends at institute
everyone seems super nice
…why are you looking at me like that?
u want vengence?
Ye— WAIT. I have heard about you. No! Go away!
k we frends now
No! I said no! I sa— AARARRGGGHGHHHHH!
lol
now i help u take vengnce with ult
What does that mean? I move faster? Get a shield? Do more damage?
no i throw u at the other team and u knock them up
WHAT?
remember 2 peel for me
So at last it has come to this.
Transformed into a lackluster Braum ult in the hands of an imbecile ADC.
My life is torment.
sigh no wards
hey cutie
Oh, hello.
i offer ppl a grim choice 2 claim vengence
W-what? What do you mean?
if they impale themselves on my spear we are bffs 4evah
Why would someone do that?!
because vengnce has consumed all that they once wer
or actuly i just stab them
like by surprise
lol
That's not a bargain. That's just murdering someone with a spear!
ask narrtive is in my story
new lore much better imo
it is a dark ritual
It's really not! You're just a psychopath with a spear!
u sound angry
maybe vengeful
…
…
LUCIAN! VAYNE! HEL— AAARGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
she has acepted my dark pact
we have both grown as characters actuly
new lore much better imo
oh hey trundle
glare
Yeah?
i hear u want vengeance on the other trols
they made fun of you and stuff
we should teach them a lesson
Yeah, I already took care of that.
u stabbed urself?
I bashed their fucking heads in with a giant club.
And then I took all their stuff.
but when did u stab urself
Legendary general, huh.
ya
u know botrk?
totally knew that dude
the runed king
ruined*
(Every other Champion in the League of Legends) WE KNOW!
actuly u can say no if u want
u just have to walk outside the range
its like five teemos
here go ahead try
runs
one, two, FIVE LOL
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHH!!!
What is going on here?
Summoner Lyte tells me that Veigar and his Summoner have filed a report.
he chose 2 impale himself
in his back
idk why
sigh zil always miss ult
report pls
Excuse me if my years studying the intricacies of chronomancy did not adequately prepare me to aim myself as a projectile weapon.
noob
What an utterly inappropriate insult.
buys new spear
recalls to fountain
This Ryze is more of a problem than I—AAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH
lol
ryze easy
let me send u my mobafire guide
pls like and upvote
THRESH. HELP. YOU CAN HAVE MY SOUL. I CHANGED MY MIND.
Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Not coming anywhere near that psycho.
Yeah, about that. Can't you go bot?
I'm not really okay with this double jungle thing.
And I do not care.
Hey, look, our blue's up. Be a pal and leash it for me.
sigh
Meanwhile, on the other team.
Senna fell in the pursuit of justice. There is no end more honorable for a warrior of Demacia.
And how noble that you should keep her memory alive by vanquishing these undead fiends, and thwarting their schemes to turn the League itself to their wicked ends.
Yeah, actually, it's not really about that.
You do not seek vengeance for her death?
I guess, but…
Here, Lee, you can have this red.
Really?
Yeah, man, you're way underleveled.
Thanks. I appreciate i—DAMMIT.
Hahahaha. Gotta be quick, homes.
…really, it's just that the Shadow Isles champs are such dicks.
My liege! The Frostguard are evil! They are REALLY REALLY evil!
I sent you there to draw maps, not to make moral judgments about their social structure.
No, I mean, REALLY evil! Let me read from my journal. Valor, journal!
That's a cookie, Valor. No snackies! Book first! Don't you talk back to me in front of the Prince.
Okay, here we go. So, this is right after I met that 'nice' lady Lissandra, who was very cultured and helpful. But then, I decided to sneak around their city at night! So here's what happened:
"We came upon a group of Frostguard deep in the city. They knelt in a circle around a giant stone eye and spoke in a strange tongue, venerating it. The Frostguard are hiding something—something that's clearly more important to them than an alliance with the Avarosan. What are they planning?"
And then what?
And then what? Sir! It was a strange tongue!
Walk around Demacia's temples at night and you'll see priests speaking in strange tongues and venerating things.
I felt an evil presence. Like I was being watched!
So, are you a member of the Inquisition?
Well, no.
But you're a cleric or mage of some kind, aren't you? Or you had a Summoner with you who could confirm that the magical presence was "evil"?
Well, no. To all of those.
Is it not indeed the case that your arcane prowess essentially ends with knowing to tell your Summoner to pick up a Quicksilver Sash for you if the enemy team has lots of CC?
Oh, hey, that's a good idea.
Valor! Write that down! "CC", then a little arrow, then "QSS".
…
Thank you for risking your life in the Freljord. Thank you for these maps and illustrations, and these detailed journal entries. But I'm not about to send out the army because you think you saw something spooky. We've got a good thing going with Ashe; we're not going to tell her that her nice old auntie leads a tribe of Void-worshippers or whatever you think that was.
There was a big eye! They were venerating a big eye.
Being a fan of Vel'koz isn't a crime, Quinn. Yes, he's a vile demon from the Void who must be purged from Runeterra, but I saw him go 20/0/19 in a match last night. You have to respect that.
I mean, seriously, he's a squishy mage without much mobility, and no deaths? I don't know if that was mostly him or mostly his Summoner, but working with Summoners is part of the job, so either way: props to him.
I have to insist one more time, my prince: something was wrong there! It was really weird. And spooky.
That's hardly proof. Vayne is weird and spooky, but we're virtually certain she's not a vampire. Despite that thing with the mirror. Which we all agree was really weird. But she literally brushes her teeth with holy water. Which is also really weird, actually, but not in the vampire way. That's the opposite kind of weird, is what I'm saying.
cries invisibly
[{quoted}](name=The Red Warden,realm=NA,application-id=6kFXY1kR,discussion-id=Hkc6MlPH,comment-id=0000,timestamp=2014-12-15T23:19:42.848+0000)
Cardamom, Vayne. For the last time, seriously, it's cardamom.
…
You forgot again, didn't you?
Did you smell "black magics"?
…yes.
And did you take any rash actions in response?
…
tumbles, vanishes
I'll apologize to the bakery. Again.
A bonus, from Summoner kdrakari: http://puu.sh/gLTQA/b488df8c36.jpg
Kdrakari insisted that I also link the original: http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/116/3/6/Birthday_Skeleton_by_BostonDanceParty.jpg
Right. So. Now that you impaled me with a spear.
QUADRAKILL
What?
