The outcome a gank is logically 33% the jungler, 33% his ally, and 33% the enemy. But in my experience, any enemy who does everything necessary to prevent their own death from a gank, is almost 0% likely to die from one. Almost every time anyone dies from a gank, it's because they allowed it, or didn't take the necessary steps to prevent it. So I'd argue that it's more like 20% the jungler, 20% his ally, and 60% the enemy who is being ganked. But then you have to factor in some luck, especially luck that relates to vision and route timings. And next thing you know, we're down to less than 20% of the outcome of the gank is in the hands of the jungler. And yet, you're asking him to walk all the way to your lane and put himself potentially behind, for an outcome that is mostly outside of his complete control.
Every jungler wants to rank up. And you can't rank up if you are not in direct control of the outcome of your games. But there are other things that are much more in a jungler's direct control. Getting neutral objectives is something they can achieve much higher odds in. Counter jungling or killing the enemy jungler is also something they can better control. And even farming, that horribly unpopular thing called farming junglers, can be highly effective if the jungler has a good grasp of teamfighting logic and knows that they picked a champ that can win teamfights.
But it never looks nearly as impressive, to see your jungler with just 2 dragons and good CS, and the enemy jungler with 8 kills or assists. But what you don't realize is, if 60% of the outcome depends on the people being ganked... the fault for the fact that the enemy jungler is so fed is mostly... well... you're fault. You didn't take the necessary steps to prevent your deaths. And even if your jungler had ganked just as many times as the enemy jungler did, it's likely he wouldn't have achieved anything close to the same results. Ganks rarely change the outcome of a lane or a game, they usually only accelerate that outcome. If the enemy jungler got off so many successful ganks, odds are, his allies were going to win all those lanes anyway, even if he hadn't ganked at all. Likewise, if your jungler had ganked more, it likely wouldn't have changed anything, because you would have still been the same feeder that you always were.
it's the responsibility for every player to win their own role to the best of their ability, and not expect anyone else to win their role for them. And to be completely honest, the role of the jungler isn't to win lanes. They've been asked to do that by fussy laners. During laning phase, it's the role of the jungler to farm the jungle, get rift herald, get dragons, etc. Stuff that's actually in the jungle. And when everyone is grouping as 5, then everyone LEAVES their lane roles, including the jungler, to group wherever.
It would be like if the jungler was to start the dragon or rift, simply cuz he was walking past it, and then dies. Then he flames his allies and soft ints the rest of the game, because they didn't all leave their lanes and come help him do his job, when he needed help. Junglers who act like that are annoying. It's great that he was trying for an objective. But not great that he was so needy. Sure it's great if his allies had helped him. And sure, it's great if the jungler also ganks and helps his allies. But the laners may not want to leave lane on a whim, especially if cs is crashing into their turret. And junglers may not want to come to a gank where the outcome they don't feel is strongly enough in their own control. So from my experience, the best is that every player try to be less needy, and try not to tell other players what to do.