Where is Aurelion Sol?

I've stayed up all night until morning for this patch, as much as I wanted to buy another rune page I slapped myself in the face because I needed the celestial dragon. Watching YouTube videos of him made my nipples excited, they were tingling and throbbing viciously. I wanted Aurelion Sol... I wanted him to take me, I wanted him to consume my whole body, I wanted to be his star. The mere mention of his name "Aurelion Sol" was enough to make me open, I want to be ravaged by this creature. When I saw the LoL client my body was shivering from excitement, I felt is cold presence around me, but it was okay because my private areas where keeping me warm. I sat and watched the client patch, I was watching the green bar go from left to right. My eyes where tired and watery and I wanted to sleep, but I stay up, I stay for my master... Aurelion Sol. The patch finally finished and I saw the beautiful orange button that read "Launch", before I clicked I worshiped my dragon before I decide to lay my filthy mortal hands on his godly body. I took my two hands and lay out one finger each, I pressed them on my chest and circled my man tits. I circled for a while and spiraled my finger to my nipple, this represents a star being born. I whispered to him "I am ready Aurelion Sol, I want you to take my body and do whatever you want with it", I was nervous and it was embarrassing but I do it for him, I do it for Aurelion Sol. When I clicked launch I was surprised to see that my master's portrait wasn't displayed in the background. I thought Aurelion Sol wanted to surprise me and I was excited, I logged in immediately and looked in the shop to find him. I searched and searched but with no luck... where is my master? Has he found another? I'm depressed...