When will Conqueror Officially Be A Failure?

What will it take for Conqueror to be officially a failure? When will Riot finally admit that they have no idea what bruisers do, and how they work? When will Riot acknowledge how they have actually ruined toplane, and made every other lane suffer as a result?

"Toplane feels weak right now"

Wrong. Toplane isn't weak, toplane is busted. The reason toplane feels weak, is because most toplane matchups are so painfully one sided and snowbally, that it FEELS like you can't do anything 50% of games, because getting behind at all, is just true suffering. MOSTLY because every toplaner that isn't a tank, is just broken, all of them, broken champions.

I come from a toplane era where SoloRenektonOnly taught wave control, and how to properly coordinate with your jungler to deny the enemy resources and objectives. I come from a toplane era, where you'd look for TP ganks not because the two assists were GG, but because forcing your laner to follow you would deny them so much experience and completely mess up their back timings. I come from a toplane era, where your champion could win 1v1 OR contribute to the teamfight late game. I come from an era of toplane, where roaming with your jungler was how champions with lane presence actaully made a difference and effected the rest of the game. I come from an era of toplane where stealing the enemy red buff was something you looked for non-stop. I come from an era of toplane where the most volatile matchup you could imagine was Darius into Renekton, and who ever lost would be not a champion all game.

And I want my era of toplane back.

I don't want to play as or against Urgot, who will win every fight on the wave, and has ridiculous all in potential with defensive and offensive steroids on no cooldown with a free lane push for 0 mana. Who will eventually just one shot my team and provide massive AoE CC in the mid game. Thats not fun.

I don't want to play as or against Irelia, who will have 2.7K Health, one shot everything she touches, heals for an obscene amount by spam Qing the wave, and has the such a clear defined strength for fighting on the wave, but literally no issue with just getting shoved in under tower and CSing perfectly with Q and her attack speed passive, knowing she'll be relevant with her massive teamfight presence later in the game.

I don't want to play as or against Darius, who no longer chooses between Stack health or Stack AD, and instead always chooses Stack Health, because hes been given so many buffs to try and keep him relevant alongside these other ridiculous champions that his damage doesn't actaully come from his items or a relevant lead, and the champion is 100% completely entirely focused without a doubt on short brusty trades that eventually become one shots from this monster of a man with 2.6K Health and 120 Armor.

Its actually such cancer what Riot has done to the toplane, and I want it back. I want actual toplane back. I want the Yorrick Darius matchup to be about whether or not Darius can force the all in off the wave during the split push. I don't want both side of the matchup to be about landing one ability and all inning trying to see who can burst down who. I want to care about timings, about wave conditions, about jungle pathing, about my rotations, about when and how I trade. Right now toplane is all SMOrc all the time, and its just not fun, even when you're winning. When I play Conqeuror Yorrick ,and am taking the inhib solo at 24 minutes, and they send someone to stop me, I don't want to just flash E Q them for 90% of their health because I have a triforce, which essentially reads "Every 1.5 seconds, your next auto attack has an infinity edge Crit" its actually so fucking busted, and it encourage such a degenerate playstyle from so many champions. Its not cool, its not clever, its not some big brain 10,000 IQ tool to really optimize your trading patterns, its just cancer.

I want to feel like my choices in items really make all the difference between how much durability and damage I have, I don't want it all to come from my base values, like seems to be Riots latest and greatest obsession. I don't want the most valuable place for me to get more damage to be from CDR, which is disgustingly cheap and overtuned with the way Riot assigns base numbers, especially when nearly every toplane champion has some form of stat steroid and CC, making CDR literally the single most efficient stat for everything any champion in toplane could ever want to do ever.

Actaully Riot, stop fucking around making these small changes like "Oh we're going to just tweak some things here and there" No. Admit how badly you fucked toplane. Admit you're actually ruining the game through toplane. Admit that you've turned every interaction into who can one shot who, and in order to compensate, you've given every relevant assassin the ability to one shot people WITHOUT ANY SETUP FROM THEIR TEAM AT ALL.

Its pretty simple how to fix it.

1.) Remove Conqueror. It was badly executed before, now its just unworkable. You can't give so many free stats to a class of champions that already have so many free stats and then pretend like you don't understand how everyone of those champions has had a complete erasure of playstyle variance over the duration of a game. 2.) Stop listening to people like Hash. He's a fucking idiot, who doesn't know anything except that he wants to fight the enemy laner. He doesn't want to actaully play league or think, he just wants to beat his dick on the Keyboard and get a victory screen. Theres 9 other people in the game, and if people like Hash want some happy funtime all by themselves, they can go masturbate instead. 3.) Retune CDR, its so underpriced. Its so disgustingly cheap and efficient for every role, that midlane and toplane meta lives in such an unengaging stranglehold as a result of it. 4.) Stop making champions who are good in lane and out of it. You have to pick one. If your champion is designed to fight early, and to 1v9 the game, thats not okay. Not every champion can be old Graves. If yu want to play a 1v9 champion, you should have to suffer like Kassadin for 20 minutes before you are allowed to make the game entirely about you meeting some minimal skill floor, not about being better than your opponent. 5.) Fix champions like Riven and Yasuo, which aren't about being better than your opponent, but whether or not you can properly execute your combo when the time comes. They're not about being better than the enemy in 90/100 engagements with the enemy, they're about whether or not the player meets some minimal skill floor for performance.

Also, if you want ideas for a REAL bruiser Rune here are a few ideas:

• Old Irelia Passive, gain defenses or increase healing or increased movement speed when you are outnumbered.

• Dealing damage with a spell or empowered attack applies stacks to the target. Basic Attacking this target consumes the stacks, healing for a flat amount. Or dealing bonus damage for a flat amount.

• When in combat with enemy champions, gain stacks of determination, you gain slow resistance and tenacity for each stack of determination up to a cap.

• Just remove the True damage portion of Conqueror, and change tanks (and other bruisers) to be more item reliant in their resistances and health items. Make the healing off damage to champions be premitigation, and not apply to minions. That actually could salvage conqueror even though I said I think its unworkable.

• Just run another rune like Phase Rush, Grasp, Electrocute, or Press which are almost identical to all the runs Bruisers used to run before runes reforged.