Why is Warwick the most balanced champion?

I have seen a fucking ridiculous amount of people (several) say that Warwick, one of the most broken champions in the game, is the most balanced champion/rework in LoL for the dumbest reason. Wanna hear it? I'll enlighten you.

"hE HasN't HaD OnE cHanGe SinCe HiS ReWorK!"

Do you realize how hypocritical that statement is?

The amount of times per DAY I see the boards excessively complaining that Riot is batshit retarded is more than I see my fucking dog per day. And she walks into my room every 5 minutes.

The fact that the boards as a whole can think that Riot is that dumb, the the boards as a whole accepts Warwick as the most balanced champion in the game, a VERY bold claim, seems a bit hypocritical and biased to me, don't you think?

Here, imagine you're in a game and this happens:

You're playing the laning phase, all fine and dandy in the top lane. You see Warwick counterjungling your warded bot side red while your jungler is jerking off in a bush. You take this opprotunity and decide to trade with your enemy laner. It doesn't work how it's supposed to and now you're at about a quarter health. You see the little Warwick icon pop up, and now you're sad and alone. You fortunately forced your enemy laner to back so you're all alone to free-farm. You pop some pots until you're a little under half health. Not 12 seconds have passed since you saw Warwick at your red on the other side of the map, but you see him running towards you. You get cocky because he's at about half health for whatever reason, level playing field. But then, still running at the speed of sound, he ults you and it's almost a blink and he's on you, devouring you.

Warwick has gained back all of the health he needed to get from 50% to 100% in just that ult, and now you're at about a quarter health. We'll just say you're playing Nasus so you ult and turn on him. You start trading autos until you're back at around even health. Then Warwick Q's you and heals a quarter of his health. But you're still kinda winning the fight so you keep going. Warwick gets lower and lower, but he's getting stronger. His attack speed and lifesteal are increasing at crazy intervals. But even with this, you're both at low health, almost dead. You're about to land one final Q to finish him off. Then he presses E and takes no damage, fears you, Q's you, and you're dead.

Does that sound like a fun experience? No. It was full of healing and Warwick getting stronger as he gets lower, blinking on you, all that bullshittery.

Riot needs to choose between

• Mobility
• Tankiness
• Damage
• Healing
• Annoyingness

Now, if you want to, I'm all ears if you want to prove me wrong. If you bring me the preponderance of evidence (my law final was today) to show that Warwick is, in fact, balanced, I'd love to hear it. Maybe I'm just salty. And have been since his rework like a million months ago. Who knows?