Finally got Gold after 2 years of trying.
After two years, over four thousand games, several chat restrictions and three 14 day bans, I finally got Gold. Turns out in the end, it wasn't that hard, even if it was incredibly frustrating.
Here's the account. https://lan.op.gg/summoner/userName=xelniya
So what was the difference between being permastuck in Silver and getting to Gold? Glad you ask. Turns out, all I needed to do was play ONLY my best roles and champions when playing ranked, something I can never do on this account. That LAN account is new and only has a handful of champions so what happened was I played on this one, the one I'm posting on currently, when I felt like playing random shit but only played my main role and champions when I played that LAN account. The result was a consistent win rate. I wasn't losing games because I suddenly felt the urge to feed my ass off on Kayn. Also, I have far better ping on LAN than I ever did on NA.
There's a bit more to getting out of Silver than that but that was the main reason I succeeded here. I may write a more detailed post in the future but for now, I'm just chilling.