I remember when I first began playing this game
I strode all the way down that glorious top lane
There I met my first
main
Who would go on to cause me great personal pain.
She'd hop three times, "quite cute" I'd say
Until I realized that her engage would keep me at bay.
That dash and those hops, that shield and that stun, "Such BS!" I'd rage
Then my salt turned to tears, for she had backed and bought a Phage.
I raged and I swore, I'd frown and I'd pout,
But no one one my team dared help me out.
They'd say "Riven is fed! Surrender at 20!"
"We'll face her 5v1" I replied "That will be plenty!"
We drew her out, far from her team,
and emerged from the bushes with the following scream:
"We can take her! She's gotten far too cocky! When we're finished she'll be as sore as a champion jockey!"
She looked quite calm and quick as a flash
Had stunned our whole team with a well timed dash.
Her blade was reforged, it cut through us all.
Nothing could save us, not even our Yasuo's WindWall.
So I sat at my desk and I cried and I cried,
"Why did you make this champion Rito? Why, oh why?!"
As I sat in despair, my vision gone black
I met a nice man with a scroll on his back.
He looked at me kindly and said:
"I've been freshly updated and made many gains
And I look forward to playing in the glorious top lane."
"You say that now friend" I cried,
"But soon you will see
top lane is for
mains, and none such as we."
He laughed good naturedly and said with a smile
"Young man, I have an ability you haven't seen in quite awhile.
This ability is really something, you see
It's a 2 second, point-and-click root at level 3."
I looked up and smiled and shook the man's hand
And we walked down the lane like some glorious band.
mains used to give me much trouble you see.
They'd hop and they'd dash,
Then they'd stun me.
But now I main
with his shield and his root and his great level 3,
And now
mains have trouble with me.