Okay, you say about 95% of this is satire. Well, I'm gonna pretend, for the sake of argument, that this was all serious and reply to each portion of your list.
"1) A player can only play 6(or 10 soonTM soon?) champions and feeds can be reported and punished for this"
the first portion of this doesn't make any sense what-so-ever. "A player can only play 6(or 10 soonTM soon?)" and second, you can be considered feeding after only 2 deaths. So you die twice in game and you get reported for feeding. This is the glitch in your logic here. Some people consider dying twice in a row to be feeding. So, say you make a simple mistake, you die for the second time in a row. "REPORT THIS SH*T BAG HES FEEDING!" Your logic made this guy toxic and ruined the victims day.
"2) A player enters ranked and cant play every role"
This is balanced by certain champs fitting certain roles. Also, this would stagnate the game if someone couldn't try out all the different roles. Some people start the game playin' top and maybe a few weeks or even a couple months later they discover they really enjoy mid. This particular rule would stop the games evolution.
"3) a play is drunk or high would be punished if they do badly "
This one I agree and disagree. I agree because being drunk/high causes you to play badly. But on the other hand, should they actually be punished for wanting to have fun in their inebriated state?
"4) A player gets "countered" and refuses to stay under turret/constantly engages even after they are already behind"
You realize sometimes staying under the turret just isn't an option? Also, if you see a team mate getting countered hard and losing their lane, and you're winning your lane pretty good. Why don't you go help them win back their lane some? It's called team work for a reason. That means their failings is partly your fault and you are partially to blame.
"5) A player lets a turret fall for no apparent reason "
There is always a reason. maybe they had to back to heal/regain mana/ buy. Maybe if they stayed they woulda fed the enemy and lost the turret, so losing the turret is a better option that dying and giving them the turret. Just because the reason isn't apparent to you doesn't mean there wasn't a reason.
"6) A jungler that doesnt gank any lanes ever"
This one I can agree with. I really don't have much to say about this one.
"7) depending on the adc/supports playstyle
an overly agressive adc/supp or plays to passive adc/support"
Maybe they have to play passive because they are getting shoved out hard? That would cause them to be overly passive cause they don't want to end up feeding. In that case, HELP THEM!.
Lets say they are being overly aggressive. Maybe they just started playing this champ and are still defaulting to the style of another. This game has 123 champions. It's going to happens, don't get butt hurt cause it does.
"8) going 0/10 then deciding "I want kills to" you take 2 or three kills then proceed to feed again (great hes worth gold again!)"
Shit happens. Simple as that. Maybe they started to make a comeback and got caught by 4 of the enemy team, he obviously can't fight them all off. So he falls. But you saw it coming. Why didn't you help him? This comes back to it being partially your fault.
"9) being a support and deciding you are the carry after accidentally getting a couple kills"
This may just be a glitch in the mind of the person. And yes, I have carried as a support because my adc was giving me the kills. Yeah, I've accidentally gotten a few kills as a support then continued to rock the rest of the game. Sometimes the support just becomes a carry. Thats part of the evolution of the game. A match can turn any way at any point.
"10) being the support and taking farm"
So, your adc isn't in lane, isn't going to be in lane for a while, you decide to take a few creeps. This support should then be reported for taking some creeps when their adc wasn't in lane? Well, we can extend this logic to the jungler as well. Comes in to gank, enemy runs away and jungler takes 2-3 creeps since hes here. So, by your logic the jungler should then be reported for taking those creeps. OH, we also cant forget about the amazing item Relic Shield/Targons Brace/Face of the Mountain. This item allows the support to kill off some creeps and share the gold from said creeps. So, even if the support has this item and takes creeps, sharing the gold. They should be reported for following the mechanics of the game.
"11) breaking the meta and being the reason you lost (read the summoners code for why I put this one)"
Breaking the meta is how the meta evolves. Its the reason we have to mage mid meta because someone decided to play veigar mid and rocked it. So we got the mage mid meta.Breaking the meta occasionally allows the game to evolves in fantastic ways. Breaking the meta allows you to possibly find things that are more powerful than the currently accepted meta. Also, the summoners code actually doesn't say anything about breaking the meta. Because meta is a player enforced way of playing the games. I recommend trying to understand the terms you are using. I will say this one more time. Shit happens.
"12) lagging without having had checked your internet"
The persons internet had been running perfectly fine all day and suddenly, LAG FROM HELL COMING OUT OF TEEMO'S FURRY FRIGGEN BUTT HOLE! So, you're saying this is the persons fault because they didn't check their internet just seconds before lag started to hit. Maybe they were playing and someone else in the house didn't know they were and decided to start watching some Netflix and it causes them to lag. So, they are reported for something that someone else in the house, whom in unrelated to the match in any way, has done. This person is then reported cause their brother just got home from school and wanted to watch My Little Pony on Netflix while the player is in another room. Yeah, great friggen idea man.
"13) wrong runes/masteries"
I don't even have to try with this one. shit happens. People make mistakes. It happens, they shouldn't be punished for a simple mistake. Maybe its a new player thats just getting into the groove of the game, just so happens to have the wrong runes on. Well, you just got this new player banned because he got reported by 18 people in the last 2 matches. This then makes it your fault.
"14) wrong spells"
I refer you to my reply of number 13.
"15) giving up and trying to surrender a bajillion times when you arent that behind"
Maybe they have to go. I'm not talking as they knew they didn't have time or any of that shit. I'm talking about an emergency. Maybe their grandma needs help and they have to leave right then, but they don't want to get tagged by the leaver buster. Help them out and just get it done and over with. You can move on to the next match and be done with it.
I see here that your logic for almost all of these is severely skewed and needs to be worked on more. You really do seem like an elitist, and honestly, kinda like your an asshole in every definition of the word. This is just what I'm taking from your post. No offense if you're actually a nice guy, then fine, I apologize. But this elitist attitude is bullshit. Get over yourself and look at the situations and implications of the rules you are suggesting.
One more thing. Something unintentional cannot be punished in a game like this. Cause by your logic, you make a mistake BANNED. If that were to happen then the game would just die. You are suggesting the death of a game we love and pour hours upon hours of our time into. You sir, think harder on what you suggest.
