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Confessions of a Nasus main

Pupel··195 votes·8,553 views
  • No I will not group except for baron or last stand nexus defense
  • No I will not roam before 15 min
  • I hate janglers who gank my lane and make me miss farm without getting a kill
  • I bring TP not to support my team but to get out on the fountain faster
  • I hate teamfighting
  • when I split push do not follow me I am a Nasus main and this is my creed

225 Comments

Privileged Jew112 votes

Confessions of a Teemo main to a Nasus main :

  • I will poke you into oblivion
  • You will be forced to waste TP by 3 mins
  • You will have 150 stacks at 30 mins
  • Build MR? I will go hybrid
  • You will be as useless as I am in teamfights by the time I'm done with you

I am a Teemo main and I'm on shrooms.

Skorch88 votes

Confessions of someone who enjoys playing pantheon against teemo:

  1. I will build hexdrinker
  2. I will rush sweeper
  3. Q
  4. Q
  5. WEQ I am a Pantheon and you disgrace the art of war.
Privileged Jew11 votes

{quoted}

Confessions of someone who enjoys playing pantheon against teemo:

  1. I will build hexdrinker
  2. I will rush sweeper
  3. Q
  4. Q
  5. WEQ I am a Pantheon and you disgrace the art of war.

Whenever I get someone who picks Pantheon into Teemo, I play like the biggest bitch. You will not kill me. You will not take my tower. This will become a farm lane and unless you roam, you are not getting fed enough to remain relevant lategame.

AgeOfTheMage86 votes

Confessions of a support main:

  1. do not touch my adc
  2. you cannot touch my adc
  3. i won't let you touch my adc
  4. you will not kill my adc
  5. you will not poke my adc, for if you poke, I shall punch
  6. i shall die if it means my adc gets fed.
  7. wards... everywhere
  8. if my adc is unable to tower dive, i shall take the turret damage, even if i'm squishy.
  9. i will actually kill secure
  10. i shall provide cc... cc everywhere CX
  11. fuck zyra and heimer support.

edit: holy crap! 63 upvoteds?!?!? o-o also: http://matchhistory.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/#match-details/NA1/2317906365/232999251?tab=overview hue :3

Vistha Kai25 votes

6**.** I will take all of my ADC's kills.

Mhihnj32 votes

by 'mistake'.

Vistha Kai7 votes

That's point 7.

Drahcir34 votes

i was doing that jhin a favour, he didn't want the penta anyway.

Volgorath9 votes

{quoted}

Confessions of a Braum main:

  1. do not touch my adc
  2. you cannot touch my adc
  3. i won't let you touch my adc
  4. you will not kill my adc
  5. you will not poke my adc, for if you poke, I shall punch

FTFY

rtbf2349624752 votes

If my ward spots the enemy jungler, we back the fuck up

BetterCallSoul4 votes

If my ward spots the Enemy Jungler, we will soon get my ADC a triple.

softest boy1 votes

{quoted}

Confessions of a support main:

  1. do not touch my adc
  2. you cannot touch my adc
  3. i won't let you touch my adc
  4. you will not kill my adc
  5. you will not poke my adc, for if you poke, I shall punch
  6. i shall die if it means my adc gets fed.
  7. wards... everywhere
  8. if my adc is unable to tower dive, i shall take the turret damage, even if i'm squishy.
  9. i will actually kill secure
  10. i shall provide cc... cc everywhere CX
  11. fuck zyra and heimer support.

Supports deserve more credit for such devotion.

AgeOfTheMage4 votes

support mains* theres quite a large difference.

MunchCrunchLunch3 votes

the thing is teemo can build tanky and beat pantheon but pantheon isn't a flexible champion

Tychusfindlay9197 votes

{quoted}

the thing is teemo can build tanky and beat pantheon but pantheon isn't a flexible champion

Stupid post

MunchCrunchLunch2 votes

how is it stupid?

Tychusfindlay9195 votes

{quoted}

how is it stupid?

Because teemo cant build tanky and beat pantheon. Pantheon may not be able to build tank per se but he can build maw of malmortius and force allins all day and fuck teemo up the ass. Or he can just continue his Q pokefest to force teemo out of lane.

MunchCrunchLunch2 votes

but what if i build this shit on teemo what is your answer

Teemo item 3022 item 3068 item 3047 item 3091 item 3146 item 3071

or this item 3153 item 3143 item 3047 item 3022 item 3071 item 3085

Tychusfindlay9199 votes

{quoted}

but what if i build this shit on teemo what is your answer

Teemo item 3022 item 3068 item 3047 item 3091 item 3146 item 3071

Maw of malmortius, deaths dance, youmoos, cleaver, randuins, merc treads

Thats the world's dumbest fucking teemo build. Its a confused build that tries to incorporate tank (btw mages will blow you the fuck up because no mr mr. "Tank teemo"), on hit, and sustain. What you really end up with is a near zero damage teemo that has enough hp to survive maybe a few more seconds but not enough to actually tank much.

Wits end sucks dick because a huge portion of it is dependent upon prior stacking which bruisers like udyr can safely pull off with their innate AS and tank steroids (teemo has a very unreliable and sometimes dangerous AS steroid and absolutely no tank steroid whatsoever). The randuins will gimp teemo's attack speed, and the powerful four second slow passive in conjunction with youmoos ghostblade active will allow pantheon to negate frozen mallets kiting ability. Even if you swapped wits end for an ad item, your E will ensure that pantheon always gets to take advantage of maw's lifeline.

It's a cavalcade of buttfuckery and teemo is in the front.

Erractic Eick44 votes

Confessions of a Jax Jungler to the Pantheon attacking my allied Teemo:

  • I will build whatever I want and somehow find a way to deal more damage than you.
  • You will feel the fury of my E if you try to use your ultimate on me.
  • If you build tanky one way or another, I will itemize to destroy you.
  • If you somehow manage to out-damage me in a 1v1, I will stun you and then hop away to safety.
  • You may occasionally block a basic attack of mine, but it hardly matters since by level 18 I'll get two per second.

I am a Jax main, and here's to you, kid.

TheIronRevenant22 votes

I am a Jax main, and here's to you, kid.

plz no

Drahcir9 votes

time to lie down and cry.

Velzard of Koz5 votes

The feels. They always catch you unaware and strike with precision of a predator.

Penns10 votes

Confessions of a Fizz main to a Teemo main thats bullying my Nasus main:

  • I will walk up there and oneshot you

Thats it :]

Ben Sharpio52 votes

confessions of a sion main:

-i put milk before i put the cereal

WacingTheFind14 votes

By milk you mean blood? And by cereal you mean bones?

Ralanr8 votes

Yes. This is very important to distinguish.

Ralanr26 votes

-I will always run with my ult when caught out alone. -I will not always scream, "COWARDS!" But it should be considered as such. -I will farm for health. Do not think you can stop me. -I will land a knock up. And when I do you will regret ever fighting me. -I'm not missing you, I'm simply not aiming for you.

HorusEye3 votes

-I will farm for health. Do not think you can stop me.

Vayne : cute

Ralanr4 votes

What's funny is that I can harass her enough early game.

BetterCallSoul6 votes

I love yelling it out, or when you ''whiff'' their frontline because they sidestepped and end up hitting their ADC and then Q them. xD

Ralanr7 votes

Once I hit R by accident and had to curve to the right to avoid hitting a wall on the way to mid. I was so frustrated that I forgot to stop and ended up hitting the whole enemy team under their turret.

They must have heard me coming and decided to back off. They relied too much on the thought of me being competent (or just taking the obvious route) that they turned my fuck up into a game changer.

It. Was. Glorious.

Malicious Metal24 votes

Confessions of a Morde main:

  1. By level 4 I'll become an immovable Wall, better put that Pink Floyd Album on
  2. If you DO manage to scratch my health and breach my shield I'll just disappear in the Jungle for two seconds and return full HP
  3. I'll be tankier than your tank, have more burst than your Mid and more DPS than your ADC
  4. The Dragon's name's Steve, he likes eating towers
  5. I might have no CC...Oh wait, I got perma slows
  6. Just try ganking me, I like free Double kills
  7. Be prepared to see the dreaded "Hue" in all chat every time I make your life miserable

Have fun!

All Skillzz7 votes

[{quoted}](name=Malicious Metal,realm=EUW,application-id=3ErqAdtq,discussion-id=R7z4Uqq1,comment-id=0006,timestamp=2016-10-12T12:09:35.046+0000)

Confessions of a Morde main:

  1. By level 4 I'll become an immovable Wall, better put that Pink Floyd Album on
  2. If you DO manage to scratch my health and breach my shield I'll just disappear in the Jungle for two seconds and return full HP
  3. I'll be tankier than your tank, have more burst than your Mid and more DPS than your ADC
  4. The Dragon's name's Steve, he likes eating towers
  5. I might have no CC...Oh wait, I got perma slows
  6. Just try ganking me, I like free Double kills
  7. Be prepared to see the dreaded "Hue" in all chat every time I make your life miserable

Have fun!

i had a morde top on my team get fed cause our jungler camped his lane. enemy jungler camped bot lane an fed the enemy adc and so we had an extra adc on our team thanks to the lucian ghost :P

Tychusfindlay9199 votes

[{quoted}](name=Malicious Metal,realm=EUW,application-id=3ErqAdtq,discussion-id=R7z4Uqq1,comment-id=0006,timestamp=2016-10-12T12:09:35.046+0000)

Confessions of a Morde main:

  1. By level 4 I'll become an immovable Wall, better put that Pink Floyd Album on
  2. If you DO manage to scratch my health and breach my shield I'll just disappear in the Jungle for two seconds and return full HP
  3. I'll be tankier than your tank, have more burst than your Mid and more DPS than your ADC
  4. The Dragon's name's Steve, he likes eating towers
  5. I might have no CC...Oh wait, I got perma slows
  6. Just try ganking me, I like free Double kills
  7. Be prepared to see the dreaded "Hue" in all chat every time I make your life miserable

Have fun!

Darius confessions of a darius main

My axe cuts metal like it cuts wood... :)

Melledoneus24 votes

Confessions of a Shen main:

  • I will probably lose my lane if it's Rumble, Darius, or Kennen

  • I will make jokes occasionally. This is to retain my sanity.

  • It pisses me off when I ult you and you don't follow up.

  • I will occasionally miss my taunt not because I don't know the range but because it sometimes doesn't feel like working.

  • I take TP in a feeble attempt to save my lane after ganking bot.

  • I don't care if you tax me heavily during a huge minion wave, minion block will make me miss most of them anyway.

  • I am Shenpai and you will have to earn my attention (and potentially affection)

I am a Shen main, and I am oblivious to your love.

SmashXNXCrash13 votes

Can we immortalize this post just because of how legit this shit is [slayer-pantheon-thumbs]

VasilisGreen11 votes

Confessions of a Zed main:

  1. No, i can't spam all day long, energy runs out faster than you think
  2. Yes, i have counterplay, learn how to move properly
  3. Yes, i actualy need to aim to hit you
  4. No, i don't have unlimited mobility
  5. Yes, I can easily kill you if you stay in lane and greed
  6. Yes, my ult has plenty of counterplay, you just need to learn about it 5,5. No, i won't tell you what that is, you don't reveal your secrets to your enemies
  7. Yes, i need skill to play properly. A fed zed that kills you is just a fed assassin, not broken.
  8. If you walk around in the rift alone i will come after you and i will kill you. It's not personal, it's just good business
  9. Please, don't gank my lane just because you happen to walk by, i didn't ask for help. I've got them right where i want them, don't scare them away.
  10. I too have bad matchups, i am not untouchable. If you're not good enough, it's not my fault you can't touch me.
All Skillzz5 votes

[{quoted}](name=Hi Im Vasilis,realm=EUW,application-id=3ErqAdtq,discussion-id=R7z4Uqq1,comment-id=0007,timestamp=2016-10-12T12:33:15.968+0000)

Confessions of a Zed main:

  1. No, i can't spam all day long, energy runs out faster than you think
  2. Yes, i have counterplay, learn how to move properly
  3. Yes, i actualy need to aim to hit you
  4. No, i don't have unlimited mobility
  5. Yes, I can easily kill you if you stay in lane and greed
  6. Yes, my ult has plenty of counterplay, you just need to learn about it 5,5. No, i won't tell you what that is, you don't reveal your secrets to your enemies
  7. Yes, i need skill to play properly. A fed zed that kills you is just a fed assassin, not broken.
  8. If you walk around in the rift alone i will come after you and i will kill you. It's not personal, it's just good business
  9. Please, don't gank my lane just because you happen to walk by, i didn't ask for help. I've got them right where i want them, don't scare them away.
  10. I too have bad matchups, i am not untouchable. If you're not good enough, it's not my fault you can't touch me.

all of this lies

Veltox6 votes

Even LeeSin can see that bs.

dominusx10 votes

Confessions of an ex Renekton main : -I will not let you farm till 20mins -I WILL play with ignite -I will 1v2 you and your jungler -I will oneshot your adc with one combo -No i don't fall off after 25 mins

  • HEHE EKS DEE
Over Innsmouth10 votes

Confessions of a Vladimir Main.

  • I will do fuck all early game, I am a glorified cannon minion.
  • I will scale into the single largest threat in a teamfight, and will absolutely not die no matter how much burst you drop on me.
  • If you build Grevious Wounds, you are the scum of the earth and I will damn you forever for using such a shitty, broken mechanic.
  • Yes I have teleport, no I will not use it to gank.
  • When I land a 4+ person Haemoplague, you better fucking follow up.

I am a Vladimir main, and the rivers will run red.

Vistha Kai8 votes

If you build Grevious Wounds, you are the scum of the earth and I will damn you forever for using such a shitty, broken mechanic.

Confessions of a Syndra main.

  • I can't not buy Grevious Wounds even if I wanted to. thanks rito
RG Velean12 votes

item 3165

Literally like the first item in her recommended if I remember right.

Stratego335 votes

Notice the double negative.. forum sheep

EvilMerodach9 votes

Confessions of an Udyr main: This fur isn't fake ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ item 3070 item 3070 Ivern item 3070 item 3070

Sniperkaj7 votes

Confessions of a Xerath main

  • Yes the range is that long
  • No you are still not out of range
  • Aaaaand yep i can hit you from the Fog of War
  • Good job of going 10-0 Jinx. I hope you dont mind entering each fight poked down to 30 % HP
  • My ult is a zoning tool
  • Until i have rylais - then i hope you, dear immobile squishy, likes to get taken out from 4000 range. Have a nice day!
it be lìke that6 votes

confessions of a zac main

  • fuck you if you dont follow up my full combo of cc.
Hauling Ashe4 votes

Confessions of an Ashe main:

  • I won't bother with hawkshot even if we get ganked 20 times.
  • I will play passively for the first 20 minutes because I just want to farm, dammit.
  • I will love my support even if they ks... until you steal my freaking penta.
  • I will get killed trying to save you with my slows even though you're already dead.
  • If the mid laner ks's me I will waste my ult just to ks them back.
  • No, I will not build mr. I'll build item 3146 before I even consider item 3139.
  • I will bullseye all my ults except in that one important teamfight.
rtbf2349624754 votes

Confessions of a Braum main:

  • I will run out of mana the second I hit level six
  • I still believe that this Q is the one that will hit
  • I will try to save you from everything, even when you try to 1v5
  • I will give you a false sense of security because you think my E can block lasers
  • I will be the only friendly casualty or only friendly survivor of a teamfight
  • I will never be alive when we win
  • I will fight at half health and no mana, just so I can soak for my carry(es)
  • If no one defends lanes, I got it because I wasted 1/3 of my gold on item 3748
  • When we take baron, if no enemies arrive, I'll somehow die
  • I'll still push if you do even though I can see that Yi in the river bush
  • % HP damage is the spawn of Teemo

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