Garen

Want to know how to play one of the first champs in the game that takes NO understanding whatsoever and who the hell doesn't know how to play garen at this point? Then you've come to the right place because I. ffifed. Will tell you all about this bayblade spinning sociopath known as green.

Let's go over this hunk of a man's abilities. Because I'm cringy and disgusting, please love me.

Passive. Warmogs - After 3 real days you begin to regenerate a tiny amount of health. percentage health mind you. So early game, useless. Lategame you can walk into all 5 enemies, usually kill 4 of them. Walk out and be back to max hp in about 4 seconds. Mundo? Never heard of her.

Q, shut the fuck up - Garen smacks the everliving shit out of you forcing you to stfu for 2 seconds so he can whisper facts about demacia into your ear, or scream them because you'll already be on the ground crying while he sings the ionian anthem through a loudspeaker as a tornado blows away your friends and family. It also does a good chunk of damage, speeds you up a bit and breaks you out of all slows. NOT STUNS. Just slows. #fuckwither.

W, armor....it's just armor - Passively gives you a bit of armor, when activated you block 30% of physical damage, I think it's physical. For about half a milisecond, use this and piss off the enemy top laner and make this one poke ability nonexistant.

E, Spin2win - the original meme of this godforsaken game. You spin in a circle dealing way too much damage way too quickly for way too long. It also shreds armor and can apply black cleaver stacks. Oh. It can crit. That's always fun.

R, DEMACIAGODDAMNITWHYDIDNTITKILLHIMWHATYTHEFUCK - A shitty execute that only serves as a second passive and does magic damage for some reason. Unless the passive is on you. Passively it marks some random asshat on the enemy team, usually the biggest threat/most gold value as a villain. The villain takes % true damage from all of garens attacks and makes your ult do 100% true damage..unavoidable execute true damage. what the fuck? However this ult bascially does NO FUCKING DAMAGE PRE 11, you'll have a darius marked as the villain at maybe 10% hp and he'll fucking survive. Seriously this ult has never once kill a single person for me pre 11. I've hit a literal 200hp malphite with it and he survived with a fucking sorc rune. Hell if they have a garen just take the damn nullifying orb or whatever the hell it is. chances are you'll never be the villain unless you're farming the garen, and if you're farming the garen he won't ever get you low enough to execute you.

So you regenerate for no goddamn reason, you can't be slowed by nasus or darius because who the fuck else has a slow? You can silence to negate burst champs like fiora while also running away like a bitch, and if you fuck up the silence just press W to negate most of their burst anyways. And then after the burst Q back in to silence and press E. Oh they built armor? Doesn't matter. Press E. Oh they build hp? Doesn't matter press E then R. Oh they tried to cc you and gank you? Doesn't fucking matter, you'll just silence the jungler and usually force him to run away screaming at the support "why the fuck did you let garen kill me thresh you asshole" He's the most basic bitch top laner and there is no real way to fight him other than, hit him harder, or play a ranged top laner. But since he can regenerate he'll run directly at you, silence you, and spin on you since there is no way to stop the spin. Well...except for jax. Don't argue, jayce can slap him away. The bitchslap cd on jayce is way longer than garen's Q. Not to mention. Garen doesn't use any fucking mana so he'll just run up and Q E you over and over and over AND OVER! Go ahead send your jungler garen usually bursts harder than anyone but lee sin. And since lee sin is all abilities he'll just get silenced and get fucked. Seriously why does garen not use mana? He summons a magic sword from the gods themselves. While darius just swings an axe. "Oh but darius would be op without mana" because yasuo isn't? Aatrox isn't? Idk if aatrox is good yet nobody picks him still. Or fucking vladimir isn't?

tl;dr I don't struggle with garen but he doesn't make sense