Why doesn't riot like tank wet noodle fights?

There's not really anything enjoyable about them for most people. Mistakes aren't really punishable, there's not much room for outplay or really skill for that matter, and they're just boring and unhealthy.

I watched a wet noodle fight recently. There is no thought to dodging anything and it's pretty much just a long winded stat check until someone else shows up or one of you eventually wins. It's like taking skill and throwing it out the window into a lake of fire.