Tristana jesus christ...

I had to add another champ to my roaster of "Ban or I'm tilted" bans. And it's the little whore herself fucking tristana.

HOOOOOOLY HELL This is one of the most frustrating champions in the history of anything. second only to satan himself

Burst? I got that Escapes? sea why at High sustained dps? oh sweetie....

This champ has become everyones go to when vayne is banned, and that's another story of why vayne is pick or ban. Now it's the same for tristana, I'm waiting for twitch to pop back up and trigger my flashbacks to getting pounded in season 4 by a twitch 1 shotting us from 6 miles away. But this isn't about twitch because nobody plays twitch and doesn't feed. This is about tristana the champ who needs everything in her kit removed and replaced with a "I'm sorry I'm a %%%%" button.

Her passive is More range higher level. Design team did you just like...take a day off? That's cool less for me to type. This passive is alright not absurd until you slap it to the rest of her kit.

Q - 110% Attackspeed what.. So she'll just jump to max attackspeed for 7 seconds? Sivir gets 3 fast autos, ashe has to auto 4 times to get her big boy damage, xayah's is only for about 4 seconds and not nearly that high. This is just disgusting.

W - Khazix's leap. It's khaz's leap fully evolved but she gets it at level 2. That's stupid, rip this away from her. Or gut it's damn range to scale with level. It resets with each kill or assist just like the assassins ability, only he's at least risky to play she can do what he does from a distance while her soraka/sona/alistar/nami/anyonewithafuckingheal is shoved deeper into her ass than my weekly fisting when I get lonely.

E - You mark a sexual assault victim hit them and they take damage. Wait...zed ult? Okay it's like a shittier version of zed's ult. But you can put it on towers....I mean...better than her old E which was malzahars dot...cool...Bunch of winners designed her huh?

R - Lee sin kick, I know I'm comparing her abilities to other peoples but they do the EXACT SAME THING. She's a clobber of 4 champions greatest strengths mashed into one tiny yordle. She has a ranged version of lee sin's ultimate. Holy hell whatever the design team is smoking I want some.

Idk what is wrong with this champ aside from she ALWAYS GETS FED. Every game with or against her she gets at least 17 kills and can never die because of Plus she has 2 forms of escape or self peel so nothing can stick to her. Your only hope is to have a vayne which hey...that will literally NEVER happen because people know vayne will fuck her, so they either pick vayne or pick trist when vayne is banned. Nobody else will ban her and then she gets picked they feed and wonder why they lost. Maybe it's the adc who you can't touch doing 60k damage from the frontline because she's a fucking tank.

I want an anti everything champ who's ult forces you to complete your SAT's again and bankrupts you for locking in stupid shit. This was supposed to have more humor. Only nothing about tristana is fun. She's so tilting I had to go back through and remove most of the swearing I wrote here to vent my anger instead of flaming my teamates for not banning her, and when I ban her malz and vayne get left open or veigar or anyone riot forgot is a problem. She's a bunch of other champs stapled together like Frankenstein's monster. Since she's a little abomination that riot made adorable that only factors onto your tilt since you're getting fisted by a tiny blue demon squirrel and her healer is slapping a band-aid on her knuckles whenever you try to clench shut.

Disclaimer - she really is retarded I hate tristana even though I can beat her with sona...and only sona...