I will either have no crit chance or 100% crit chance, no exceptions. Which champs for which?

Fact 1: I hate RNG / luck mechanics, I firmly believe they have no place in any pvp game for any purpose. No exceptions.

Fact 2: There is nothing any of you can say to change that belief. I've had the discussion before and am undeterred in my certainty.

Fact 3: Regardless of my belief, I objectively have really bad luck. PvP, PvE, multiplayer, single player, it doesn't matter, my luck is too bad to rely on % chances of anything regardless off whether or not the thing is acceptable. I understand if data from other people (winrates and stuff) and mathmatical evaluation suggest that have X% crit chance is better than have 0/100%, but once you add the factor that it's me playing, that stops being true.

Fact 4: Because of the above, all of my builds on any given champion will either have no crit, or 100% crit. No exceptions.

The question in this thread is which champions I should build none on and which ones I should build full on.

Starting with the obvious: "Build none on non-adcs, except Yasuo because of his passive".

With the question now specific to adcs, can I get some people to help me decide which ones to pick for the "none" and "100%" categories? Assume I own all champions. I don't, but I do have PBE access and maybe I'll have bought them all some day.