Ranged top laners

You know what I love about ranged top laners? I love the fact that I can't farm and I'll be behind in experience, levels, and gold. I love the fact that I can barely farm under tower. I love the fact that if I don't have any sort of gap closer there's nothing I can do. I love that even if I have any form of gap closer, ranged "top laners" have one too to counteract mine. I love the fact that if I'm melee I can't play the game. Playing against top is the best experience in League of Legends!

You know why it's the best experience? because it's totally counterable without jungler assistance. What's the counter you say? Oh there it is! Oh right.... that item is TOTAL SHIT!