Ahri is in every single game

{quoted}

avoids half her damage,

But she cant actually kill ahri because ahri will just Charm her and or back off with Q ms and then ult from enemy tower to her tower.

avoids her E,

And then what?

always at least ties lane (but usually loses later-on),

She just gets E'd when she ults or jumps in.

pokes faster and harder than Ahri does, and closes gaps better,

LOL no he fucking doesn't Ahri's Poke is longer ranged and harder to dodge, does more damage to the minion wave with its true damage and gives her MS to keep her out of harms way whenever she uses it.

Talon's Gapcloser is a short range pont and click spell that requires he walk up to you into Ahri's auto range in a str8 line to use which means he will always get charmed by any Ahri that is semi decent. After his Q he has no mobility for an all-in. Because HAri charmed him mid Q, he cant even proc his passive and autolost first blood. In constrats, Ahri has 3 Non-targeted dashes in any direction...

is able to avoid everything BUT her W, between his R and W.

While I'll concede he is probably a decent matchup against her, he still isn't a counter. He just gets E's as soon as his ultimate animation ends assuming the Ahri isn't bad and saves it, then she proceeds to R away and Zed now has no way to use his combo since he cant get to her.

For non-assassins,

Didn't even read the rest of this line because this is a JOKE xD Annie cant even get NEAR Ahri to poke her with Qs. Ahri will spend all lane Qing her and backing off while annie hopes for a gank. If Annie tries to go up to her, she will just get hit with Q or E.

well out-harasses her, and can stop her ult,

Ive done this matchup dozens of times and Ahri has the advantage in it. Ahri too easily gets out of his threat range with her Q and her mobility and range laugh at Azir's wall because the cast time on his wall is far slower than her R.

Even if he manages to knock her back, her E and Q get thrown out before the nockback and then eh does to incidents W an R damage.

wins against pretty much every mage,

Except he cant really beat her in lane because until 6 he is her bitch. And even at 6, she just ultis away and E's him and he cant do anythign about it. Later on he does outscale her though, btu ti takes too long in an early game meta.

just needs to land one Q to combo Ahri (and her E out-pokes Ahri's Q),

How is Ahri getting Q's by Lux when she has 3 Dashes and MS from Q? And while yes her E makes for good poke against her Lux herself doesn't have much pressure on Ahri.

crushes her pretty well with his ult alone,

tbh, I would've gave you Malzahar if he wasn't nerfed out of midlane viability

is a living, breathing counter to Ahri,

No she isn't. Is she is, in what way??!? Because of her E?

Morg herself present sno threat to Ahri since Ahri so easily avoids all her damage. Morg doesn't threaten Ahri at all.

shits on Ahri in every stage, unless she's stupid-fed,

No he doesn't. He cant get close to Ahri to Q her withotu getting harassed himself and Ahrtis sustain means he will go oom before he can all in. If he tries to go on in, his short range W means it will get cannceled by her E and he will get spanked in retaliation. And again, she can and will just R away even if she does somehow get W'd.

In what universe does Path counter Ahri?

isn't good right now, but his P+C CC is pretty crazy on her, too,

Except no because especially after his W nerf, he cant keep ahri still for long enough to hit her with anything. The best eh can hope to do is just clear waves til lane phase is over.

's too tanky for her to kill,

Swain cant do shit to her unless he Lands his W which Ahri has too many ways to avoid. Once Ahri gets her , Swain cant do shit. Th best he can do is rush and hope to go even.

is a supposed counter alongside (but I've never had problems against them, so I'm not too sure about that),

That is because they both aren't and dont lol.

Ahri just Q's to avoid Leblancs Passive proc and Ahri never has to get close to Veigar for him to properly retaliate with E. Additionally, again, Ahri just E's leblanc if and when she jumps in.

also seems made to counter her. That's 17 different champions she struggles against, most, if not all, being viable midlaners.

Not really. Yasuo doesnt "beat" ahri in lane unless the ahri is being needleslsy agro instead of just hangign back and Qing all day. Yasuo cant all in her because she will just R away back to her inner tower. and he cant easily get to her without getting kited to oblivion by her E and Q. Even if he manages to windwall it , by the time he gets to her, they are at her tower and he cant do much.

And, yes, these are all match ups I have personally found to be extremely difficult. And I main Ahri.

That speaks more of your ability with Ahri than anything.

A common theme I see with this list though is you list mostly champs that DONT get dumpstered by Ahri as opposed to champs that str8 up dumpster her. I find it a tad telling.