My Ascension Story

I sat there, staring. I thought I had misread it the first time, but no. It did not say 'Five Ascension Games Earns You The Shuriman Ascendant Icon'. It said 'Five Ascension Wins Earns You the Shuriman Ascendant Icon.' I flipped to my match history. 7 Ascendance games, 6 losses, including an incredibly painful one where we had half their score for the entire game. I dare not think of the Perfect Ascension icon. My one win had seemed close...but alas, an unlucky ace had dashed those dreams aside. Looking at the unfeeling computer screen, I did the only thing I could.

I broke down and cried.

Riot, Ascension, in my opinion, is your worst featured game mode yet. Showdown sucked too, but at least you only needed to play that once for the icon. But this? This is a travesty.

• First off, this is entirely a personal thing, but all of my favorite champs suck in this mode. In this mode, you want either durable champs or champs that can avoid damage somehow, like by being incredibly hard to catch. My personal favorite champs are immobile mages and supports, and I have seen so many assassins in this mode that I just want to punch a poro. I understand that casters were great in URF mode, but URF mode didn't require you to win 5 games for an icon, nor have a seemingly impossible achievement for another icon.

• Games take way too long. Remember that last stomp of a game I went through? 15 minutes might not seem like a lot, but it is when no one on your team wants to group, you're a squishy support, and the enemy team is full of assassins. Even the win felt like it was dragging on.

• I remember my first match. We had a big contested fight at Xerath, and his health was dropping. I, as Irelia, saw my chance and bladesurged in for the kill. I did it! I was ascended! Which meant I couldn't move or fight, which meant I watched in horror as my team was slaughtered 4v5, and I joined them as soon as I came out. Turns out that actively trying to do the thing the game mode is named for is a bad idea in certain situations! Who knew?

• I constantly attempted to run to the lanes, but that's blocked off. There isn't a wall or anything, though, just dark ground. I kept wondering 'why did I stop?' before I got killed by whoever was chasing me.

*The buff to prevent spawn camping really doesn't help much, considering how much free stuff the ascendant gets. Speaking of which..

• I got Ascendant on Sona, and felt like this was the wrong decision. Sure, the AP and magic pen was nice, but I was still relatively squishy, and my healing and shield still didn't do enough to prevent the enemy Yasuo from completely destroying me.

I just really hate this mode. And I hate myself for wanting those icons.

Once more unto the grind, I guess.