Icon-comics: Quinn's journey to the Freljord, and why Demacia didn't leap to declare war afterwards

http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/147/e/3/_league_of_legands__lissandra_by_pro101men-d66r0tb.png I thought I told them to postpone the spooky chanting while Demacia-girl was in town. Does no one read my ice-memos? Maybe Olga was right about paper. (Artwork by pro101men.)

Here are some icon comics I threw together to (mostly jokingly) resolve the issues arising from Quinn returning from her Journey into the Freljord with evidence that the Frostguard are actually eeeeeeeeeeeevil, what with her seeing spooky rituals at night and being chased down by an Ice Witch who looks an awful lot like Lissandra.

All that follows is intended principally for comedic effect, not to start a serious lore debate about Lissandra. (We can have one of those, too, if you like, but understand that I'm hamming it up for jokey purposes here.)

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"Oh no, CupcakeTrap," you exclaim, "but won't they identify her as THE EVIL ICE WITCH?" About that.

It's ridiculous that a scheming mastermind who has spent many centuries moving from one identity to the next would jeopardize everything by chasing a Demacian scout and her pet bird around the tundra. She has thugs for that! She can probably summon wampas, or trolls, or just look into her crystal ball and make the ice collapse, almost drowning Quinn before Valor heroically lifts her up out of the freezing water as Lissandra bellows "CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!" from the safety of her ice cavern.

Seriously, chasing after Quinn herself? What kind of chump do you think she is? You know, there's another problem with going out personally to chase Quinn: she might put an arrow through her head. You're powerful, Lissandra, but she's a Champion, too; it's not like it's inconceivable that she'd just kill you. Maybe she's got a nasty incendiary bomb in her pack because she figured she might need it in Snow Land.

Speaking of Quinn, I don't see why (other than as a narrative expedient to provide a "spooooky Lissandra" moment) Lissandra would really care enough to have Quinn killed, with all the risks that entails, in the first place. Quinn saw some spooky rituals, but so what?

My liege! The Frostguard are evil! They are REALLY REALLY evil! I sent you there to draw maps, not to make moral judgments about their social structure. No, I mean, REALLY evil! Let me read from my journal. Valor, journal! That's a cookie, Valor. No snackies! Book first! Don't you talk back to me in front of the Prince. Okay, here we go. So, this is right after I met that 'nice' lady Lissandra, who was very cultured and helpful. But then, I decided to sneak around their city at night! So here's what happened: "We came upon a group of Frostguard deep in the city. They knelt in a circle around a giant stone eye and spoke in a strange tongue, venerating it. The Frostguard are hiding something—something that's clearly more important to them than an alliance with the Avarosan. What are they planning?" And then what? And then what? Sir! It was a strange tongue! Walk around Demacia's temples at night and you'll see priests speaking in strange tongues and venerating things. I felt an evil presence. Like I was being watched! So, are you a member of the Inquisition? Well, no. But you're a cleric or mage of some kind, aren't you? Or you had a Summoner with you who could confirm that the magical presence was "evil"? Well, no. To all of those. Is it not indeed the case that your arcane prowess essentially ends with knowing to tell your Summoner to pick up a Quicksilver Sash for you if the enemy team has lots of CC? Oh, hey, that's a good idea. Valor! Write that down! "CC", then a little arrow, then "QSS". … Thank you for risking your life in the Freljord. Thank you for these maps and illustrations, and these detailed journal entries. But I'm not about to send out the army because you think you saw something spooky. We've got a good thing going with Ashe; we're not going to tell her that her nice old auntie leads a tribe of Void-worshippers or whatever you think that was. There was a big eye! They were venerating a big eye. Being a fan of Vel'koz isn't a crime, Quinn. Yes, he's a vile demon from the Void who must be purged from Runeterra, but I saw him go 20/0/19 in a match last night. You have to respect that. I mean, seriously, he's a squishy mage without much mobility, and no deaths? I don't know if that was mostly him or mostly his Summoner, but working with Summoners is part of the job, so either way: props to him. I have to insist one more time, my prince: something was wrong there! It was really weird. And spooky. That's hardly proof. Vayne is weird and spooky, but we're virtually certain she's not a vampire. Despite that thing with the mirror. Which we all agree was really weird. But she literally brushes her teeth with holy water. Which is also really weird, actually, but not in the vampire way. That's the opposite kind of weird, is what I'm saying. cries invisibly