Jarvan skins need to be talked about

I'm writing this after seeing the new Dark Star Jarvan (DSJ) skin. It's a fine skin and under different circumstances I wouldn't have thought anything of it. But DSJ didn't come out in a vacuum. It came out now when:

• It followed his previous skin from five years prior.
• A precedent for the Dark Star skin line had been created with Varus and Thresh
• When Lux got the most backroom-deal skin of all time for the Lunar release (we thought we needed a Lux-like figure so...)

Let's call things as they are. I'll probably buy the skin, but that's only because Jarvan doesn't really have any good ones. Darkforge looks the least horrible largely because his base skin makes him appear to be in a HazMat suit. If you were going to one-off a skin for J4, why Dark Star? I'm guessing because it's easy to do with few details. But if that's true, wtf have been been doing for 5 years?

Additionally offensive is his Dragon Slayer skin (DSS). Have you ever looked at J4's DSS next to Pantheon's DSS? Charles Dickens himself couldn't have written a worse tale of two skins. That Pantheon skin is epic, it's beautiful, it's thematically perfect. J4's DSS is red. That's roughly the gist. His most well received skin, Warring Kingdoms (WKS), is fine in comparison to other skins. But the Warring Kingdoms is another skin line where some folks won out, and some folks didn't. Xin's WKS is also trash while Garen and Azir's WKS are close to breathtaking. As for why J4s WKS has two feather boas coming out of his helmet, I can't say.

I'm glad he's getting a skin. I'm mad it took 5 years. And I wish in those 5 years he got a skin that was little more than crumbs thrown to an eager fanbase who, based on initial reactions, doesn't seem super impressed. He needs a visual upgrade badly. He runs stupidly, most of his skins look like he's wearing the old leather helmets from the early days of football, and IMO he has no good skins. I largely use Commando - a skin created upon his release - because it's the one he looks LEAST stupid in. That isn't how we should be thinking about skins on a champ from 2011. Almost 7 years on the Rift and he's getting almost no love. And if this skin is seen as "getting love" then I want to know when you hired my father, and when you expect to fire him?

I don't like to complain without offering a solution so here are some existing skin lines I think many of us would have preferred more than 90's Screen Saver DSJ: Arctic Ops, Arcade, Marauder/Warden, Slayer, and Debonair.