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[Champion Concept]: Adrastia, Demacia's Shame

ModThe Djinn··8 votes·2,529 views

#ADRASTIA, DEMACIA'S SHAME

Adrastia is an attempt to explore the darker, unseen side of Demacia. A country that prides itself on law and order above all is one that may easily fall subject to legal manipulation, where those who know the limits of the law have considerable power.

Enter Adrastia. Whether or not Demacia is as corrupt as she thinks is immaterial -- this is an exploration of the Demacian vigilante: the champion who feels that Demacia, for all it's focus on justice, has lost sight of what the concept really means. Adrastia wants to save her vision of Demacia from itself, whether or not that vision is the one that the rest of the nation desires...and whether or not the nation actually suffers from that problems that she sees.

NUMBERS ARE PLACEHOLDERS FOR CONCEPT PURPOSES ONLY

Specifically her level of %health damage is likely overtuned, but for testing it's easier to start high and reduce the values accordingly to solve problems as they arise. The ultimate is also meant to be basically an auto-kill against a target if their team doesn't respond to your assassination in the midst of a teamfight, since they can leave to reduce the damage or simply CC / Kill you to counter it. It's all about Adrastia wanting to show the world the price of corruption and injustice, and so it's designed to be a HUGE moment if you pull it off.

OTHER NOTES

I'm not sold on the W of this kit, nor on Marked by Guilt. I wanted something fun for a target-agnostic Top Lane Fighter / Assassin, and pulling in the Kill Bounty seemed to fit the character, but I'm not sold. The rest of the passive, Q (at least in principle -- exact mechanics may vary), E, and Ult I really like.

COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED

#CHAMPION MONOLOGUE

"Demacia. Shining city of law and order. A bright beacon of civilization in a war-torn world.

Ha.

There is a dark undercurrent that runs through these streets. A lurking malevolence that festers beneath the grand facade, twisting the noble ideals of our once fair nation into a hideous mockery of what we used to stand for.

Justice is dead.

Most cannot see it: they are blinded by their unwavering trust in a corrupt institution. Those who do see it -- those who would speak out against the spreading plague -- simply...vanish. We find them later, bloodstained, torn apart, left to rot in the dark alleyways the crown would have you believe are safe to walk.

Those found with bloody knives over the corpses of the innocent are punished, certainly...but what of those who pulled the strings? Men and women who, behind behind closed doors and shuttered windows, speak in murmurs and whispers to those whose allegiances are dictated only by the luster of gold? The Crownguard won't hunt them down: the inquisitors turn a blind eye against the nobles who buy their loyalty, and the perpetrators are left to plot again and again, never once getting their hands dirtied by the blood that stains their souls crimson.

Demacia's laws are cast aside. Demacia's justice is bought and sold. I will not be. This nation needs to be cleansed, and if we cannot heal the corruption through words than we will wash it out on tides of blood. I will put on the mantle of judge, jury, and executioner, and I will show Demacia that true justice does not bow down beneath the weight of gold.

Let the guilty tremble. I am coming for them."

#DESCRIPTION

Adrastia is a lithe, muscular woman wearing a white, blue, and gold outfit that is close-fitting, yet loose enough to move freely in. She has a white half-cape with gold trim and a Demacian sigil emblazoned on it which she keeps draped over her right shoulder, and her face is obscured by a featureless mask.

She wields a long blade with a flat end instead of a point, similar to the Executioner's Sword below.

http://getasword.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/executioner-sword.jpg

##[PASSIVE]: EXECUTIONER'S EDGE Adrastia converts Attack Speed into Bonus Attack Damage at a 1% -to- 1 ratio (her attack speed does not increase). Additionally, she does not critically strike: if an attack would critically strike, it instead deals 6 / 8 / 10% of the target's maximum hit points in bonus physical damage (up to 9 / 12 / 15% with Infinity Edge). This damage applies lifesteal, and is capped at twice her AD against Minions and Monsters (increased to 2.5x her AD with Infinity Edge).

Finally, enemies who have Kill Bounties gain Marked by Guilt.

##[Q]: SCYTHING BLADE Adrastia swings her blade in a circle around her before bringing it slamming town in target direction. Enemies struck by the swing take 20 / 50 / 80 / 110 / 140 (+0.2 / 0.3 / 0.4 / 0.5 / 0.6 bonus AD) physical damage and are slowed by 25% for 1 second. Enemies struck by the slam take auto-attack damage. The slam itself can critically strike and gains +0 / 10 / 20 / 30 / 40% Critical Strike chance, and Adrastia can move during the swing itself.

If the target is Marked By Guilt, Scything Blade's cooldown is reduced by 2 seconds.

Cooldown: 10 / 9 / 8 / 7 / 6 seconds.

##[W]: BALANCE THE SCALES Adrastia steals defenses from nearby enemies, gaining them herself for a short period of time. Enemy champions within 350 units lose 10 / 15 / 20 / 25 / 30 Armor and Magic Resistance for 4 seconds. Adrastia gains this value for the same duration, as well as +25% movement speed.

If a target is Marked By Guilt, Adrastia steals 50% additional Armor and Magic Resistance from them.

Cooldown: 12 seconds.

##[E]: SWEEPING GUILLOTINE Visual: Adrastia slides forward, her blade trailing behind her in one hand. As she reaches the end of her movement she spins abruptly around, her sword whipping behind her, before bringing her mighty blade crashing down in the direction she came, throwing her enemies with it.

Adrastia dashes up to 500 units in the target direction, then turns 180 degrees and strikes all enemies in a line extending 300 units in either direction (along the vector of the initial dash) from her final location for 70 / 90 / 110 / 130 / 150 (+0.8 bonus AD) physical damage. Enemies behind her are lifted and flung the same distance in front of her, and any enemies struck are slowed by 99% for .75 seconds.

Enemies Marked by Guilt are stunned for .75 seconds instead.

Cooldown: 16 / 15 / 14 / 13 / 12 seconds.

##[ULTIMATE]: GLORIOUS EXECUTION Visual: Adrastia sweeps her half-cape around herself, disappearing only to reappear behind her target. She slowly raises the giant blade, which begins to glow with golden light, before bringing it down with incredible force upon her hapless foe.

Adrastia blinks to target enemy champion within 500 units, suppressing them and channeling for 2 seconds as she winds up for a killing blow. If the strike lands it deals 15 / 20 / 25% of the target's maximum health in True Damage, increased by 4 / 6 / 8% for every additional champion (other than herself) within 1000 units. An obvious visual indicator of this range appears centered around the target when Adrastia is channeling.

If Glorious Execution kills the target, all nearby enemy units are terrified for 2 seconds.

Cooldown: 150 / 130 / 110 seconds.

#RECOMMENDED BUILD

  • Infinity Edge
  • Essence Reaver
  • Phantom Dancer
  • Ravenous Hydra
  • Dead Man's Plate / Death's Dance
  • Beserker's Greaves

48 Comments

Lord Acacius3 votes

This is a very well developed concept!

I know about the warning in the beginning about numbers, but I just want to re-iterate.

I think your passive is too strong... I can see the abuse of critical strikes taking place here. If she deals almost 20% of a champion's max hp, then it will take 5 hits too kill the champion. That is extremely powerful, not taking into account her actual abilities. One of which gives her increased crit-strike chance. I also believe that if you base the damage off of maximum hp, then there isn't an effective way of countering this damage by health, rather only by armor... So tanks have no way of countering this. If you are going to make this champion based off of max-hp damage, you should give her low base damages and low ratios to help balance out the max hp damage. Your champion already has low base damages, but she has high ratios.

However, I think there is a slight deformity in your abilities in the sense of your champion's lore.

If Adrastia is a vigilante, she will use aggressive methods, but will never go against common good. So I don't think stealing armor is thematically correct for this champion. Making her steal armor makes her almost, villain-y in nature. You should consider finding another way to gain defensive stats. Other than that, this character has very solid abilities!

If you have time, check out my latest concept!

Chillingworth, the Grave Gunner

Edit: lol, didn't notice it was you The Djinn, no wonder it was so well developed!

ModThe Djinn1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Lord Acacius,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=x4A3J4P8,comment-id=0000,timestamp=2015-11-26T05:41:32.279+0000)> I think your passive is too strong... I can see the abuse of critical strikes taking place here. If she deals almost 20% of a champion's max hp, then it will take 5 hits too kill the champion. That is extremely powerful, not taking into account her actual abilities. One of which gives her increased crit-strike chance. I also believe that if you base the damage off of maximum hp, then there isn't an effective way of countering this damage by health, rather only by armor... So tanks have no way of countering this. If you are going to make this champion based off of max-hp damage, you should give her low base damages and low ratios to help balance out the max hp damage. Your champion already has low base damages, but she has high ratios.

She's actually designed to be a target-agnostic assassin, so she needed some way to allow her to attack tanks. The Critical Damage is currently tuned probably slightly too high, but the ideas is that against a 2000 health target she's actually dealing less damage than she would be otherwise, but against a 3000-4000 health target she has a faster time-to-kill.

But yeah, numbers are probably a little high. Start high, finish at the right spot. :P

If Adrastia is a vigilante, she will use aggressive methods, but will never go against common good.

A bit of a misconception here. Adrastia is a vigilante for what SHE sees Demacia as. Whether her vision is true or not is...questionable. I intentionally put some ambiguity in her lore there, and I kind of wanted a brutal, morally-questionable character.

If you have time, check out my latest concept!

Chillingworth, the Grave Gunner

I'll take a look when I have time!

Lord Acacius1 votes

She's actually designed to be a target-agnostic assassin, so she needed some way to allow her to attack tanks. The Critical Damage is currently tuned probably slightly too high, but the ideas is that against a 2000 health target she's actually dealing less damage than she would be otherwise, but against a 3000-4000 health target she has a faster time-to-kill.

True... but this makes her more of an anti-tank than an actual assassin now doesn't it?

A bit of a misconception here. Adrastia is a vigilante for what SHE sees Demacia as. Whether her vision is true or not is...questionable. I intentionally put some ambiguity in her lore there, and I kind of wanted a brutal, morally-questionable character.

Hmm, a good point. I never really questioned a vigilante's purpose before. Normally, they stand for the things that a government body is too scared to do. But, it's interesting how you say she is questionable... it brings an aspect of mystery to her and leans her to more of a bad guy lol.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Lord Acacius,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=x4A3J4P8,comment-id=000000000000,timestamp=2015-11-26T06:00:16.009+0000)True... but this makes her more of an anti-tank than an actual assassin now doesn't it?

Hence the Assassin / Fighter tag. But it should probably be Fighter / Assassin. :P

She'll kill pretty much anyone she can catch in the midst of a teamfight with that ult, but outside of that she tends to play more like a Fighter.

Hmm, a good point. I never really questioned a vigilante's purpose before. Normally, they stand for the things that a government body is too scared to do. But, it's interesting how you say she is questionable... it brings an aspect of mystery to her and leans her to more of a bad guy lol.

That's the intent! She's sort of the Demacian version of Riven -- except that while Riven is exiled and probably hated for turning away from the Noxian idea that "Might Makes Right" and losses are acceptable, Adrastia is "Demacia's Shame" because she takes the Demacian ideals to such an extreme that many other Demacian's look at her in horror. She's probably topping their "Most Wanted" list, honestly...especially since she has no hesitation about executing corrupt (or "corrupt") individuals in public locations.

If she wasn't so hard to actually catch, she'd likely be dead by now.

Lord Acacius1 votes

That's the intent! She's sort of the Demacian version of Riven -- except that while Riven is exiled and probably hated for turning away from the Noxian idea that "Might Makes Right" and losses are acceptable, Adrastia is "Demacia's Shame" because she takes the Demacian ideals to such an extreme that many other Demacian's look at her in horror. She's probably topping their "Most Wanted" list, honestly...especially since she has no hesitation about executing corrupt (or "corrupt") individuals in public locations

But now the question is... what does she think of Noxus? Although, I probably see her killing them as well, to be honest.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

Yep. Pretty much. Noxus is right up there on her list, once she cleanses the poison from Demacia.

Angry Monster1 votes

so she needed some way to allow her to attack tanks

assassins are not supposed to target tanks. This is bad game play and design ( like fiora is). Being an assassin you are supposed to go for high value squishes.

If you are making a tank buster you are supposed build Damage and Defense (roughly 40/60).

But a champ is not supposed to be a all in one unless so far ahead.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Angry Monster,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=x4A3J4P8,comment-id=000000000001,timestamp=2015-12-13T08:42:00.598+0000)If you are making a tank buster you are supposed build Damage and Defense (roughly 40/60).

Vayne, Kog'Maw, AP Cho'Gath, Irelia, Tryndamere, Yi, and Malzahar are some of the best tank-busters in the game. All are also great against non-tanks.

But a champ is not supposed to be a all in one unless so far ahead.

And she's really not. Her passive actually gives her LESS damage against squishies than it she build straight AD: against targets with less that 3000 health the percentage will almost always be lower than an extra 150% of her total AD that a crit would normally give. That's intentional.

She's basically a light Fighter with a hifhly circumstantial execution ultimate (and that ultimate is the only reason she has the assassin tag at all), and light Fighters tend to be decent at fighting anything that can't escape them or outright kill them. She just skews a bit more to the anti-tank side than Yi does.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

Always interested in more feedback!

Shmoovus1 votes

Thematically, I love the idea. It is written very well, especially for a monologue. That takes some skill. As for the kit, I think that the passive is a little bit unbalanced with the attack speed to AD ratio. Otherwise, I think that it is a great idea and I would encourage you to continue the great work.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

Interesting: I actually think that AS-to-AD passive actually weakens her, given her crit mechanics. She can't get higher attack speed from crit items, and doesn't even get the bonus crit damage from her AD. It was an intentional decision to limit the frequency of her % Physical damage.

LichKing2341 votes

i love the design but there are a few flaws with it.

i understand you want her to be an assassin but 1 thing is no one is going to play her like that if anything shes going to be played as a Juggernaut. or a brusier her passive is very strong as all she needs is Ie, and phantom to be doing shittons of dmg. (since it does max health dmg so its somewhat like a vanye).

now after those 2 items she can jsut build stubstain and tank like blade of la ruin king and spirit/ omen.

now her Q does it add to her CS or does it take from her already gained CS ( CS = crit strike jsut in case) and while her BA cant crit this skill can and its going to hurt alot.

W not to much wrong with it makes you feel like a trundle ult jsut with out the health drain.

now her E while good (it acts as sort of a gap closer.) i couldnt find anything mostly wrong with this one it seems pretty tame jsut with a pretty high ad ratio.

now her ult its somewhat like darius just with no max health dmg now this ult while good has alot of draw backs 1 Qss will wreak it also it does more dmg the more enemys that are near buy so that gives them alot of chances to just kill you during your ult unless they are running away then its a pretty good one. now this ult can punish bad postioning as she blinks and surpesses her target.

overall i say this champ jsut needs some number tweeks on the passive ( as even if she cant crit shes still going to be doing tons of dmg while if built bruiser she can tank dmg).

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}I understand you want her to be an assassin but 1 thing is no one is going to play her like that if anything shes going to be played as a Juggernaut. or a brusier her passive is very strong as all she needs is Ie, and phantom to be doing shittons of dmg. (since it does max health dmg so its somewhat like a vanye).

now after those 2 items she can jsut build stubstain and tank like blade of la ruin king and spirit/ omen.

Kind of intentional. She'll lose out on the great synergy of Essence Reaver and her damage will be lower since she has high AD ratios, but a tanky build is fine: she's a Fighter as well, after all.

now her Q does it add to her CS or does it take from her already gained CS ( CS = crit strike jsut in case) and while her BA cant crit this skill can and its going to hurt alot.

Both her BA and this skill Crit the same way: adding percentile health damage to the attack. You'll notice the Q specifics "take basic attack damage."

now her ult its somewhat like darius just with no max health dmg now this ult while good has alot of draw backs 1 Qss will wreak it also it does more dmg the more enemys that are near buy so that gives them alot of chances to just kill you during your ult unless they are running away then its a pretty good one. now this ult can punish bad postioning as she blinks and surpesses her target.

Yep. QSS is a counter to all suppression ults. And yes, it is designed to give the enemy a lot of chances to stop it: it can, after all, deal up to about 85% of a targets maximum health as true damage, after all. That's HUGE.

It's also how she can be an assassin even with a tankier build: you'll note the rest of her kit is rather bruiser-like, and her ultimate doesn't scale on any AD ratios. She's designed as a teamfight assassin: she has displacement, soft CC, and a defense steroid, and her Ult lets her punish ANY target. Carry caught out? Kill it. Carry bought QSS? Burst the tank out of the fight.

LichKing2341 votes

true but while i like her kit build full ad and crit, kill everyone who comes close to you or build brusier and kill carries and be one of the few people who can actully burst down a tank (durning any stage of the game). but i feel like her ult while very good it just has to many glaring weaknesses to be well useful im not saying itss a bad ult but in terms of praticalty your going to need alot of crit and in the 100% crit metaitem 3508 ,item 3031 ,item 3046 item 3087 ( just namen a few items here not in terms of an actually build). she would be doing so much max health dmg like fighting her would just be dam near impossible. she feels like a super hyper carry late game carry (if thats what your going for very good job) just if shes built tanky while also haven atleast 50 % crit have her hit will be doing so much dmg.

personly the only real weakness i found with her is shes easly kited back and (if she builds full on dmg) squishy as hell making her ult useless unless to catch someone ult (the reason im saying fully dmg is do to her very high ad ratios on E and Q and she can take armor and mr making it a poormans trundle ult just no health gain.

over all very good champ mabye a bit op just need a few tweaks here and there

showcase251 votes

#Adrastia Champion Concept Review

My review style is and focused on four main things: Kit and kit cohesion, champion intentions versus kit, champion theme vs kit, and would the concept just work/fit in current LOL. These are aspects of concept design that I resonate with and feel that I can give the best feedback in. Also, prepare for a lot of comparisons.

##Overview

Numbers are placeholders only.

Ok, I got it. I won’t be so critical on the numbers then.

Here is a very important component you made to the theme of this concept:

It’s all about Adrastia wanting to show the world the price of corruption and injustice and its designed to be a huge moment…

I will be seeing if the rest of the concept sticks to these essential part of her, thematically and design wise. I also see you put her as a Fighter / Assassin for her role and that you have fighter as the primary, with the ability to assassinate targets as an option. This is another point I will be looking for thought the concept. Lastly, she is a darker vigilante force within the lawful and orderly city of Demacia. So I can she her trying to enforce was just, and not always things being fair or equal by mean of creating a spectacle with less than tasteful ways to those who deserve it.

This is very interesting and really has an opening to explore the city of Demacia from what we are normally used to, and give more character to the city. Also, lore wise, it may easily interact with the existing Demacian champs.

##Lore / Champion Monologue

Well…. This is particularly beautiful and great to read. Somewhat at a loss for words on how well it went.

It shows clarity on Adrastia’s goal – to clear the Demacia of corrupt politicians and their cohort – and why it is a problem, and how this problem affects its victims. It really gives a sense of justice needs to be served, no matter how it is served.

I do have one issue: what is the perspective of Adrastia? Is she a fed up citizen, was she in the political landscape, or just a citizen with influence in its politics and politicians. Not that it makes a difference on her serving the justice, but we connect more to her if that information is known. Here’s a quick example: Batman. You know he’s filthy rich, but lost his parents when young to a crime, etc. That’s his starting perspective (which also lends reason to why he can afford his equipment and technology) and makes some of the character’s persona make sense about fighting the crime. This little fact is just needs to be stated for this concept. Without any information and just going on the post, I think she was Demacia’s public Executioner, which is has its own set of problems/points of interest.

The writing, phrasing, pace, language, and tone are perfect for this concept. It also makes a very power connection to her tagline ‘Demacia’s Shame’. Very good job. I’m impressed.

##Appearance

No picture, but I can still get a visualization of her look and outline from the description. The half cape is nice visual mark of distinction too. The visual area of concern is the mask. Yes, it is unique by being featureless, and plays to the face of justice (akin to the happy/sad mask for theatrical things), and one can even say that Bard has a featureless face (but he has that epic hair, plus he’s ancestral), but I’m not sold on it being a visual design feature that will be appealing without any interaction / story behind it. There will be a lot of: “What’s her face looks like? Why doesn’t she show her face?” These questions are hard to directly answer with the concept as is. Not that it can’t work, but something to consider. However, it will be great for skins – just give the mask features corresponding to the theme / holiday. Rito would like that. And gasp… a unmasked skin, what a great (Ultimate skin) idea too.

The weapon… it sure is interesting having a sword with a square blade. It peaks my interest on her effective attacks and restrictions, since a stabbing motion is not as effective, but a clubbing swing would be, and so on. This I like. It’s unique, can add variety into her abilities and even be a weapon specific sword fighting style (Master Yi’s Wuju Style / Irelia’s Hiten Style). I feel a lot can be made from the weapon alone.

##Abilities

Passive: Executioner’s Edge This passive as I understand it, does not allow for her attack speed to increase. That lack is made up for with raw damage. And Crits now deal % health instead. Just taking the numbers from your recommended build (those that grant the following stats), she would gain:

| Item 　 | Attack Speed Bonus 　 | Critical Strike Bonus 　 | |- | item 3031 　 | 0% 　 | 20% 　 | | item 3508 　 | 0% 　 | 20% 　 | | item 3006 　 | 30% 　 | 0% 　 | | item 3046 　 | 45% 　 | 0% 　 |

+75% Attack Speed & +40 Critical Strike Bonuses – which translate into 75 AD and 40% chance per attack to deal 12% / 15% / 18% of their health. (Again, not being rough on the numbers) A slight variation of the build could make her an assassin damage wise with the percent health damage, or deal more raw damage slow and powerful strikes. I just feel like the lack of any bonus from attack speed may put her a unwinnable disadvantage at the latest stage of the game. Taking a peek into the other abilities, she would rely on her W: Balance the Scales for durability, and the life steal portion for sustain (both elements on what I consider a structure for a good fighter) but with the ability being on CD and no attack speed bonus, she may feel like she doesn’t have a chance in this stage of the game vs champs with 2.0 attack speed. It is somewhat compensated by the CC that is within the kit.

The Marked by Guilt portion of the passive is thematically perfect as is. Gameplay wise, she is stronger vs those who fit her ideal of enemy, and that is great. One and only issue, it needs to specifically state how the mark is removed (via Adrastia assisted death / duration based). I would suggest keeping them marked until they die assisted by Adrastia. If not, say 45 seconds after they enter combat with Adrastia.

Here’s a suggestion that may fit thematically also – Instead of a mark until death of those with it, change it to a stack. Every kill grants say… one stack. And assist (who can be translated into the string pullers that she hates more) grant two stacks. And now your bonus versus those with this stat will look like this example:

[Base Duration/Damage] + [ 1 * Amount of stacks] with enemy champs able to store up to a maximum stack of 10, to make things even. Stacks go away if only if Adrastia assisted or is their killer while they have any stacks.

Q: Scything Blade First off, a squard blade scything? I love the contrast. It doesn’t logically fit, but oh well, right?

As a skill, this is great. The combo attack is great, and seems like it gives a lot of weight to the blade, (maybe a greatly weighted sword as part of her unique fighting style / weapon choice) and that’s also a cool concept. I would like to imagine the only heavier weapons are Nautilus’ Anchor, or Sion’s Axe. Having that secondary attack slam down would be a nice animation and visual combo. Maybe even damage the ground it hits for a few moments before it goes back to normal

The ability itself is very solid, but I would change the numbers to have a bit more damage. (I know… easy on the numbers) But 20 damage on a level one skill is way too low. I would start at 50 and add one more level towards the end, say 190. Then keep the bonus AD at (+60 Bonus AD) throughout. The secondary strike can critically strike, comboing well with her passive on a foundational ability for the concept. The cooldown reduction of the skill speaks to her focus on killing those who she justifies as needing to be killed. So it checks well with having kit synergy and thematic connection. Well done.

W: Balance the Scales Here is a name for an ability I would have loved to use first. Beat me to it.

Anyway, this ability as countered with her non-growing attack speed, grants Adrastia a fighting chance, especially against a fight when she is outnumbered. It does cater to both targeted roles, Fighter: with giving more durability, and Assassin: by making enemies weaker and easier to kill. The bonus Marked by Guilt is very strong in the late game, really compensating for that attack speed stagnation (I know I am focusing on her attack speed alot, but it’s such a detriment late game that it really needs to be accommodated). This also gives movement speed to chase down targets, and with both buffs, the ability to survive ganks even when pushing way too deep.

Now I also like look at spells with 40% cooldown and look for balance, and maybe I feel with that on her, she becomes more of a tank with the 3 seconds (7.2 - 4 second duration) effective cooldown. The duration of the spell is fine. I would increase the cooldown to 16 seconds, making it 5.4 seconds (9.6 - 4 second duration). This gap is more acceptable. Lastly, does it apply to champions only, or minions are included? If minions are included, the wording is fine as is. If not, changed the working to “nearby enemy champions” to help give some clarity. I would think nearby champions only, but I can’t tell as is.

E: Sweeping Guillotine I like the visual description section before the ability; it helped it make sense when actually reading the ability. And correct me if I’m wrong, but this is a lined area of effect ability, like Prince Thresh’s Flay. I always like that type of ability.

The dash portion is giving her a way jump, surprise, and assassinate targets with a good range. Maximum effective range is 800, with the dash plus lined area of affect range. It seems ground targeted, allowing her jump walls, and give her an option of map mobility, way to engage with her Balance the Scales ability to start a fight. Nice.

######Part 1 of 2

showcase251 votes

######Part 2 of 2

Let me make sure I get this right… for example: Adrastia dashes East, she goes 500 units then faces West. Enemies behind her, being those who are now East of her, are flung over her for to the West for 300 units (1) and all (2) enemies struck are slowed / stunned.

Is that accurate? Because that’s how it reads to me. As for number (1) for clarity: is it 300 units West from the point of Adrastia or 300 units West from where the struck unit stands. This difference will place the struck unit in different locations after the fling. And for number (2) all means every unit hit, since lined area of effect spells normally have different effects per direction (behind her, and in front of her). I want to believe this is the case – those not flung are slowed. No? If so, then everything is mostly clear for this ability. The Marked by Guilt stun duration is unique, I normally see a minimum of a stun lasting 1.0 seconds. Same with the normal slow, but just change the slow amount to a lower base or bring it to .25 seconds at 99% - another normality at that strength.

R: Glorious Execution

Draven would like to have a word with Adrastia. Serious, this really hits home on the ‘making a spectacle' of her enemies. Well done.

I would change, and continue to play off your passive, by changing the increase in additional damage from nearby friendly champions effect to activating only if they have Marked by Guilt on them. I see that really sticking it to those string pullers. I would even do more with the visual indicator, and actually make it look like an executioner’s platform while the spell is being channeled.

The 2 second channel is a more than sufficient to allow for counter play. I would actually bring it down to 1.5 seconds. If nothing else, they were at least suppressed for a second before being saved. And damage scaling is appropriate for the counter play ability for the skill. However, you really are great at cleaning up the last member of a teamfight, which seems counter to wanting to make a spectacle of her killings. Just a note to keep in mind.

Additionally, the maximum on the rift of percent health damage is 57, in true damage! That’s just a lot. I mean, we have the dunk master who can hexikill people, but believe me, that skill is scary on paper still. Only testing will find out how playable it truly is. And yes, I would Flee for 2 seconds if someone died to that. But just for clarity, add the effective radius of the Flee effect – I want to be out of range of that.

##Final Words

You create a great background and persona for your concept. I see you made some unorthodox trades in ways of dealing damage (crits do percent health damage instead / no attack speed growth but it attack speed bonus changes to extra physical damage per attack), which I think is conceptually challenging, but you’ve shown that with the right balancing, it could work. Also I feel like you designed her to have a balance between her alternate auto attack damage set up and her spells dealing area of effect damage to compensate for the attack speed hindrance. You have ultimate that makes a statement when everyone is around, and the brief durability to take on multiple enemies.

Clear strengths, weaknesses, thematically matching abilities, and a unique appearance… this is a good concept you have here.

######Part 2 of 2

ModThe Djinn1 votes

I'm at work until much later tonight, so can't properly respond to your amazing critique.

This will have to do for now: thank you for an incredible review. You have a fantastic eye, and offer comments and critique equal to or exceeding the high bar I had expected based on the quality of your own creations. I hope to see more from you in the future, and hope to have more chances to see your thoughts on my own work.

--Djinn

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted} E: Sweeping Guillotine I like the visual description section before the ability; it helped it make sense when actually reading the ability. And correct me if I’m wrong, but this is a lined area of effect ability, like Prince Thresh’s Flay. I always like that type of ability.

The dash portion is giving her a way jump, surprise, and assassinate targets with a good range. Maximum effective range is 800, with the dash plus lined area of affect range. It seems ground targeted, allowing her jump walls, and give her an option of map mobility, way to engage with her Balance the Scales ability to start a fight. Nice.

Let me make sure I get this right… for example: Adrastia dashes East, she goes 500 units then faces West. Enemies behind her, being those who are now East of her, are flung over her for to the West for 300 units (1) and all (2) enemies struck are slowed / stunned.

Entirely accurate, yes.

Is that accurate? Because that’s how it reads to me. As for number (1) for clarity: is it 300 units West from the point of Adrastia or 300 units West from where the struck unit stands. This difference will place the struck unit in different locations after the fling. And for number (2) all means every unit hit, since lined area of effect spells normally have different effects per direction (behind her, and in front of her). I want to believe this is the case – those not flung are slowed. No? If so, then everything is mostly clear for this ability. The Marked by Guilt stun duration is unique, I normally see a minimum of a stun lasting 1.0 seconds. Same with the normal slow, but just change the slow amount to a lower base or bring it to .25 seconds at 99% - another normality at that strength.

Correct. Those not flung are slowed as well. The duration could be upped to 1 second or reduced to .5 seconds: I didn't want her to have TOO much CC, so I picked a low, fairly uncommon value.

The fling distance I'm not sure of. I'd probably say they're flipped to just melee range away from Adrastia, so she can immediately combo into her Q.

R: Glorious Execution

Draven would like to have a word with Adrastia. Serious, this really hits home on the ‘making a spectacle' of her enemies. Well done.

I would change, and continue to play off your passive, by changing the increase in additional damage from nearby friendly champions effect to activating only if they have Marked by Guilt on them. I see that really sticking it to those string pullers. I would even do more with the visual indicator, and actually make it look like an executioner’s platform while the spell is being channeled.

The issue then is that your targets (already extremely limited by opportunity) are now further limited by damage potential. It WOULD really help the thematic, but I'm not sure it would be good for the health of the ability.

However, you really are great at cleaning up the last member of a teamfight, which seems counter to wanting to make a spectacle of her killings. Just a note to keep in mind.

A solid point. Maybe I should up the value for having nearby enemies, and cut the ally value entirely? That helps remedy that issue and the potential ganking issue while still allowing for awesome in-teamfight executions.

Additionally, the maximum on the rift of percent health damage is 57, in true damage! That’s just a lot. I mean, we have the dunk master who can hexikill people, but believe me, that skill is scary on paper still. Only testing will find out how playable it truly is. And yes, I would Flee for 2 seconds if someone died to that. But just for clarity, add the effective radius of the Flee effect – I want to be out of range of that.

The skill IS supposed to be scary. That's kind of the whole point of the experiment: how much damage can I get away from.

Also, I believe it's actually 89% -- it goes up to 8% for each of 4 allies and 4 enemies. And yeah, it's a bit insane: hence the multiple opportunities for counterplay and disruption. I wanted to really hammer home that feeling of terror when she gets someone in her sights.

Might be better at a higher percent for enemies only though.

Clear strengths, weaknesses, thematically matching abilities, and a unique appearance… this is a good concept you have here.

Thank you very much, and thanks again for such an incredible review. I have a few things to clean up based on your suggestions, and I really appreciate the feedback.

-The Djinn

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}My review style is and focused on four main things: Kit and kit cohesion, champion intentions versus kit, champion theme vs kit, and would the concept just work/fit in current LOL. These are aspects of concept design that I resonate with and feel that I can give the best feedback in. Also, prepare for a lot of comparisons.

A man after my own heart, I see.

I will be seeing if the rest of the concept sticks to these essential part of her, thematically and design wise. I also see you put her as a Fighter / Assassin for her role and that you have fighter as the primary, with the ability to assassinate targets as an option. This is another point I will be looking for thought the concept. Lastly, she is a darker vigilante force within the lawful and orderly city of Demacia. So I can she her trying to enforce was just, and not always things being fair or equal by mean of creating a spectacle with less than tasteful ways to those who deserve it.

+1

Well…. This is particularly beautiful and great to read. Somewhat at a loss for words on how well it went.

The writing, phrasing, pace, language, and tone are perfect for this concept. It also makes a very power connection to her tagline ‘Demacia’s Shame’. Very good job. I’m impressed.

Ha! Thank you very much.

I do have one issue: what is the perspective of Adrastia? Is she a fed up citizen, was she in the political landscape, or just a citizen with influence in its politics and politicians. Not that it makes a difference on her serving the justice, but we connect more to her if that information is known. Here’s a quick example: Batman. You know he’s filthy rich, but lost his parents when young to a crime, etc. That’s his starting perspective (which also lends reason to why he can afford his equipment and technology) and makes some of the character’s persona make sense about fighting the crime. This little fact is just needs to be stated for this concept. Without any information and just going on the post, I think she was Demacia’s public Executioner, which is has its own set of problems/points of interest.

So Adrastia isn't supposed to be much of a known quantity. I wanted to avoid humanizing her too much: some inspirations are V for Vendetta (from the eyes of England), the Man in the Iron Mask (from the eyes of outsiders), and the idea of blind justice (self-blinded, in this case). It matters less who she is than what she stands for.

While I know that rather dehumanizes her, it's intentional. Any true hints at who or what she is seemed to detract from the strength of the concept in the initial lore I experimented with, and I felt it was more interesting when people attempted to draw their own conclusions and apply their own stories -- myths and gossip filling the Demacian streets on who this person could be, for example. More Joker, less Batman.

No picture, but I can still get a visualization of her look and outline from the description. The half cape is nice visual mark of distinction too. The visual area of concern is the mask. Yes, it is unique by being featureless, and plays to the face of justice (akin to the happy/sad mask for theatrical things), and one can even say that Bard has a featureless face (but he has that epic hair, plus he’s ancestral), but I’m not sold on it being a visual design feature that will be appealing without any interaction / story behind it. There will be a lot of: “What’s her face looks like? Why doesn’t she show her face?” These questions are hard to directly answer with the concept as is. Not that it can’t work, but something to consider. However, it will be great for skins – just give the mask features corresponding to the theme / holiday. Rito would like that. And gasp… a unmasked skin, what a great (Ultimate skin) idea too.

That's the reason for the half-cape, actually: I wanted something that could be a bit visual draw, and provide motion when the face is a white mask. Showing the face can't happen though, because of the points mentioned above.

Passive: Executioner’s Edge This passive as I understand it, does not allow for her attack speed to increase. That lack is made up for with raw damage. And Crits now deal % health instead...she may feel like she doesn’t have a chance in this stage of the game vs champs with 2.0 attack speed. It is somewhat compensated by the CC that is within the kit.

An easy adjustment would be 50% AD, 50% AS from attack speed items, but I erred on the side of slow, massive damage swings. Tweaking the numbers and ratios is definitely possible.

The Marked by Guilt portion of the passive is thematically perfect as is. Gameplay wise, she is stronger vs those who fit her ideal of enemy, and that is great. One and only issue, it needs to specifically state how the mark is removed (via Adrastia assisted death / duration based). I would suggest keeping them marked until they die assisted by Adrastia. If not, say 45 seconds after they enter combat with Adrastia.

Derp. Huge oversight on my part. I think I had imagined that as long as they had a kill bounty they were treated as being Marked.

Here’s a suggestion that may fit thematically also – Instead of a mark until death of those with it, change it to a stack. Every kill grants say… one stack. And assist (who can be translated into the string pullers that she hates more) grant two stacks.

That's a nicely elegant way of presenting that. I may well adopt it. Thanks for the great suggestion!

Q: Scything Blade First off, a squard blade scything? I love the contrast. It doesn’t logically fit, but oh well, right?

Scythe: "move through or penetrate something rapidly and forcefully." We just usually associate it with the farming implement. A flat blade with a lot of weight was a LOT of force to cleave straight through things -- hence why they were typically used for executions.

Maybe even damage the ground it hits for a few moments before it goes back to normal. Would definitely be a nice visual touch.

The ability itself is very solid, but I would change the numbers to have a bit more damage. (I know… easy on the numbers) But 20 damage on a level one skill is way too low. I would start at 50 and add one more level towards the end, say 190. Then keep the bonus AD at (+60 Bonus AD) throughout.

I kept it low because it's technically a psuedo-auto-attack-reset and has an automatic auto-attack backloaded into it if you can hit both portions. May have been too conservative though.

W: Balance the Scales Here is a name for an ability I would have loved to use first. Beat me to it.

Names are a dime a dozen! Especially this one. Use it somewhere if you want to!

Balance the Scales: Now I also like look at spells with 40% cooldown and look for balance, and maybe I feel with that on her, she becomes more of a tank with the 3 seconds (7.2 - 4 second duration) effective cooldown. The duration of the spell is fine. I would increase the cooldown to 16 seconds, making it 5.4 seconds (9.6 - 4 second duration). This gap is more acceptable. Lastly, does it apply to champions only, or minions are included? If minions are included, the wording is fine as is. If not, changed the working to “nearby enemy champions” to help give some clarity. I would think nearby champions only, but I can’t tell as is.

Seems reasonable. And it's only champions: minions would grant FAR too much laning power. I'll adjust the text. Thanks for the catch.

Part One of Two

FloRaider421 votes

Very good thought out and designed concept

Since this champion already got reviewed in such great detail, I will try to keep myself short.

One thing I wondered about reading her lore was the fact that she is still alive. If such a woman goes around publicly executing "corrupt" people why has nobody put her down yet ?

Her title (even if fitting) doesn't strike me as a good choice since it isn't that clear. I personally think that a title should give a clear first image of the champion. But Demacia could be ashamed of anything from a backstabbing royal who betrayed his country to general ripper and his inhuman crusade, so I doubt that everyone would associate her title with vigilantism.

Her W doesn't seem to fit an executioner/vigilante that well in my opinion and fits a bandit/thug like Trundle better. Although she gains bonuses from executing tagets with many champions around it seems her ult is better used when ganking lone players and I think that her ults reads a bit too much like Darius and Warwick ults combined.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted} One thing I wondered about reading her lore was the fact that she is still alive. If such a woman goes around publicly executing "corrupt" people why has nobody put her down yet ?

For a similar reason that Malzahar hasn't been killed, Gangplank is still alive, Syndra still runs rampant, the Joker is still lose in Gotham, etc.

Plot, basically.

Her title (even if fitting) doesn't strike me as a good choice since it isn't that clear.

It's intentionally not super clear, since her motives are likewise unclear

Her W doesn't seem to fit an executioner/vigilante that well in my opinion and fits a bandit/thug like Trundle better.

This is definitely true. I'd consider swap it out if I had a better defensive option, but I couldn't come up with one at the time.

Although she gains bonuses from executing tagets with many champions around it seems her ult is better used when ganking lone players and I think that her ults reads a bit too much like Darius and Warwick ults combined.

Only sort of true. Used alone it actually doesn't deal a huge amount of damage: the bulk of the damage is locked into close proximity fights.

FloRaider421 votes

Plot, basically.

Kass is trying to kill Malzahar Gangplank recently survived an assassination Syndra probably prefers to spend time in her floating castle Batman is afraid of killing the Joker since that will make him crazy-ier

Just mention something along the line of her secretly getting supported by an underground resistance or something, so it doesn't seem completly unrealistic that survives.

It's intentionally not super clear, since her motives are likewise unclear

I get your point, but I am still not sold

Only sort of true. Used alone it actually doesn't deal a huge amount of damage: the bulk of the damage is locked into close proximity fights.

Used when ganking it still surpresses the enemy for 2 seconds that are probaly enough to get your ally to kill him in most cases. Unless you built super tanky ulting one player in a TF will probaly get you killed fast.

Can't seem to get a good idea for your W either, but I think you will come up with something amazing.

One thing I forgot to mention is the fact that her morality isn't empathized by her gameplay very well, in my opinion. Sure she publicly executes targets with her ult, but the enemies bounty give her extra effects, altough she wants to punish the men behind the murderer. Her Q and E, although very interesting, are abilities I would expect a warrior to have and not a vigilante.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}

Kass is trying to kill Malzahar Gangplank recently survived an assassination

And Demacia / Garen / Jarvan are definitely after her. She just happens to be a larger-than-life antihero, like much of League's champions, so bringing her down isn't that easy. Very much like the Kass/Malzahar situation, or the Jinx/Vi situation.

Just mention something along the line of her secretly getting supported by an underground resistance or something, so it doesn't seem completly unrealistic that survives.

Sadly, I think that significantly weakens the concept. But League isn't realistic: Jinx wrecks wodescale destruction in Piltover, but no one complains that it is unbelievable that Vi hasn't caught her yet.

Used when ganking it still surpresses the enemy for 2 seconds that are probaly enough to get your ally to kill him in most cases.

Definitely a possibility. Would lower the supress duration if that turned out to be a common use.

Unless you built super tanky ulting one player in a TF will probaly get you killed fast.

Yep. You have to pick the right target at the right time. It's a high-risk, high-reward ability by design.

One thing I forgot to mention is the fact that her morality isn't empathized by her gameplay very well, in my opinion. Sure she publicly executes targets with her ult, but the enemies bounty give her extra effects, altough she wants to punish the men behind the murderer.

She wants to punish ANYONE she percieves as evading justice.

Her Q and E, although very interesting, are abilities I would expect a warrior to have and not a vigilante.

You can be a brawling vigilante. Vigilante just means she takes the law into her own hands. She does so in a warrior fashion instead of a sneaky assassin fashion.

FloRaider421 votes

Very much like the Kass/Malzahar situation, or the Jinx/Vi situation.

Well Malz has an army of voidlings at his disposal and Jinx's passive, W and E seem to imply that she can rather easily make an escape when caught, whereas Adrastia can pretty much only kill her pursuer. But this might be nitpicking.

Definitely a possibility. Would lower the supress duration if that turned out to be a common use.

Wouldn't that also mean less time to stop her from doing damage ? Balancing this ability sounds very hard. Edit: Maybe change the blink, so she actually needs to get to the target ? Ala Juggernaut ?

Yep. You have to pick the right target at the right time. It's a high-risk, high-reward ability by design.

Actually it seems to imply that it is better to use her ult to catch up/gank enemies, since especially in higher Elo you hardly will have good opportunities to use her ult in a TF.

She wants to punish ANYONE she percieves as evading justice.

Sounds hypocritical to punish murder with murder whilst shouting justice (worse than Garen), but I think it was your intention to give her a questionable morale. I just find it hard to sympathize with her.

You can be a brawling vigilante. Vigilante just means she takes the law into her own hands. She does so in a warrior fashion instead of a sneaky assassin fashion.

Vigilante also means that most of the time the authorities will try to track you down and stop you. This ties in with my first complaint, as it sound unrealistic that a public executioner gets away scottfree. That's why most vigilante in media operate in sneaky fashion, since they would be outnumbered if they ever get caught by authority.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}Well Malz has an army of voidlings at his disposal and Jinx's passive, W and E seem to imply that she can rather easily make an escape when caught, whereas Adrastia can pretty much only kill her pursuer. But this might be nitpicking.

I mean, you definitely have a point. I should probably expand the lore -- Adrastia is, lore-wise, a bit more skilled at appearing and disappearing than her kit implies. She also excels at fighting in groups, which makes her challenging to capture one-on-one.

A brief scene of an actual execution might really help. Thanks for pressing the issue: it's nitpicking a bit, but I think it may lead to a stronger lore in the future.

Wouldn't that also mean less time to stop her from doing damage ? Balancing this ability sounds very hard. Edit: Maybe change the blink, so she actually needs to get to the target ? Ala Juggernaut ?

Yeah, balancing the ability is definitely a challenge. I might change it to a skill-shot, or heavily reduce the range. Those would be the two easiest fixes to the matter.

Actually it seems to imply that it is better to use her ult to catch up/gank enemies, since especially in higher Elo you hardly will have good opportunities to use her ult in a TF.

Depends on the enemy team composition. If this IS the most common use, I'd nerf the base values and heavily buff the champion reward values. It could definitely be that I tuned the ability wrong.

Sounds hypocritical to punish murder with murder whilst shouting justice (worse than Garen), but I think it was your intention to give her a questionable morale. I just find it hard to sympathize with her.

Yep. She has a possibly extremely distorted view of Demacia. She is an exploration of Demacian ideals taken to a terrible extreme, after all. Not everyone should sympathize with her: she's definitely unlikely to be a particularly good person.

Vigilante also means that most of the time the authorities will try to track you down and stop you. This ties in with my first complaint, as it sound unrealistic that a public executioner gets away scottfree. That's why most vigilante in media operate in sneaky fashion, since they would be outnumbered if they ever get caught by authority.

Yeah, this is technically true. But in the fantasy world of Runeterra, I'm okay with saying that Demacia is struggling to capture her, but she picks her timing very well, and is very good at what she does. :P

FloRaider421 votes

Thanks for pressing the issue: it's nitpicking a bit, but I think it may lead to a stronger lore in the future.

Yes as a matter of fact when a concept is so well thought out you can't really spot mistakes anymore, so I just list the small things that keep this concept from being perfect. :P

Yeah, this is technically true. But in the fantasy world of Runeterra, I'm okay with saying that Demacia is struggling to capture her, but she picks her timing very well, and is very good at what she does. :P

Give her some stealth or some fancy magic artifact already >:D

That said it is still an amazing concept, just one that doesn't catch my eye.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}Yes as a matter of fact when a concept is so well thought out you can't really spot mistakes anymore, so I just list the small things that keep this concept from being perfect. :P

Quick question: does this little lore snippet help explain anything about the character that you were curious / unsure about?

I haven't finished it, but imagine that she in interrupting a public speed by Chancellor Jorel Tolberre, an elderly and high-ranking Demacian figure.

She's definitely a little crazy -- take a look at her response to the fight, for example, and how she doesn't place any blame on herself. But, if she's RIGHT, then it's a fair point: brainwashing and indoctrination may be happening.

“Lies.”

The crowd falls silent as the word lashes across the square, sharp and impossibly loud in the evening air. It echoes down the adjacent streets, booming off towers and seeming to shake the foundations of the city itself. Perhaps the silence is that intense – or perhaps it is not a human voice that speaks.

A figure steps out of the crowd. Lithe, powerful, poised. Her – for the figure is obviously female – head is hooded, her unseen eyes look downward, and her shoulders are adorned with a long half-cape upon which is emblazoned the crest of Demacia. The unsullied white and shining gold of her attire mirror the colors of the grand palace before her almost perfectly: she seems almost like an extension of the architecture itself save for the massive, flat-tipped blade resting on one shoulder.

As the crowd watches she glides slowly forward, her foot-falls silent, her cape flowing behind her.

Xin Zhao is moving before the echoes have died. He barrels up the stairs as fast as his legs will carry him, forcing his way through the crowd. He grits his teeth in frustration: he is losing time he cannot afford to waste. How did she get past? How the six hells did she get past?

“You cannot speak to us of justice, ‘Chancellor.’ One cannot speak of something one does not understand.”

Her voice is deep and rich, her tone mocking.

“Your justice is an abomination. It is sold to the highest bidder, and dealt out in dark rooms where the light of truth is not allowed to shine.”

The Honor Guard steps, sensing something is amiss. Six of Demacia’s finest: second only to those chosen for the Dauntless Vanguard itself. They form a protective line ‘twixt the approaching figure and the Chancellor’s dais, weapons drawn.

*The figure does not stop. *

“You and yours have bled this country dry, Jorel Tolberre…”

She raises her head, revealing naught but an alabaster mask, its eternal expression twisted into one of impossible sadness.

“…and I have come to pay you back in kind.”

A gasp ripples through the assembled crowd, and the Honor Guard braces themselves as the figure surges suddenly forward, sword at the ready.

The woman pirouettes as she runs, the great blade whispering through the air. There is a sickening, tearing sound, a strangled scream, and the foremost guard goes down in a puddle of crimson, desperately clutching for legs that are no longer there. She steps over the stricken soldier without a second glance, blade already rising to meet the halberd of the next guard. It shears straight through the sturdy oak without slowing. The man stares in shock for a fatal second, then drops the useless haft, struggling to draw his sword before the blade swings his way again.

He is too slow.

A fraction of a second later the figure hits the line of Demacian soldiers like a Noxian battering ram, and a man goes down, cloven from shoulder to hip. The figure pivots gracefully, sword rising, the sheer weight of the blade lifting a luckless soldier bodily off the ground. Time seems to slow as the weapon crests the apex of its arc, then all too swiftly leaps forward as the man is flung before the wicked edge, steel scything effortlessly through flesh and bone. Red blood drips into the deep cracks in the marble floor as the figure pulls the blade free, the motion flowing seamlessly into a backwards swing that neatly bisects the two men rushing her. Their riven armor clatters dully around them as they fall lifeless on the cold stone. Silence falls once more.

It has taken only seconds.

Xin Zhao finally breaks out of the crowd, gathering speed as he runs up the stairs to the dais.

Too late.

The Honor Guard has fallen.

“See what you have wrought, Chancellor.”

The woman advances on the frail figure, who cowers against the low wall surrounding the balcony.

“Demacia’s best die so that creatures like you can perch your bloated bodies on the corpse of our country and pick our bones clean. Just now innocent men died to defend your lies and protect your treachery because they thought you knew what justice was. They died in an attempt to preserve a dream that you and yours killed long ago.”

The Chancellor’s eyes roll wild as he searches desperately for any recourse, but the figure is upon him, and she hauls him bodily upward by his richly embroidered robes, throwing him unceremoniously upon the dais.

“But they will not have died in vain, for their noble blood shall wash your vile ichor from these hallowed stones and Demacia will rise again, greater for their sacrifice. Citizens of Demacia bear witness, for this…”

The great blade rises, gleaming blood red in the light of the setting sun…

“…is Justice.”

…and falls with a thunderous crash.

I should probably also point out that had Xin been there with the guard or not had to fight his way through a crowd she almost certainly would have been forced to retreat. She could possibly duel him to a standstill (and probably Garen or Jarvan, although Fiora would be extremely challenging), but she'd basically be fighting to escape, not to kill her target and ALSO escape.

FloRaider421 votes

Just now innocent men died to defend your lies and protect your treachery because they thought you knew what justice was.

That's why I prefer assassins at least they keep the innocent living >:D

That said I think the line:

she seems almost like an extension of the architecture itself save for the massive, flat-tipped blade resting on one shoulder.

Is very well chosen as it explains how she is able to get around unspotted for a while.

The only thing I would add is a gigantic turmoil in the crowd after the execution: people running in fear, some cheering and fights breaking out, and Xin arriving at the balcony to see her disappear at the other end of the crowd. To give some conclusion.

ModThe Djinn2 votes

{quoted}The only thing I would add is a gigantic turmoil in the crowd after the execution: people running in fear, some cheering and fights breaking out, and Xin arriving at the balcony to see her disappear at the other end of the crowd. To give some conclusion.

That was the plan. Just didn't get time to finish the introduction and conclusion. It's actually the whole reason Xin was mentioned at all. :-D

Fowus1 votes

finally a champ from demacia that's not boring

ModThe Djinn1 votes

That may have been a side goal. :)

I feel that, in general, Demacian characters arent as well explored as Noxians, and wanted to attempt to fix that.

Vorazun1 votes

The concept is very well made. I do have a bit of an issue with the W though. It feels like a scaled down version of Xin's ult, without the knockback. There's also a lot of invisible power, and doesn't really feel satisfying. Perhaps instead

W: Balance the Scales

Adrastia creates a zone for 3 seconds. While within the zone, Adrastia gains X Armor and Magic Resist. At the end of the duration, Adrastia gains X Armor and Magic Resist (multiplied by champions in the zone) if the number of ally champions in the zone exceeds the number of enemy champions. If there is a tie, Adrastia gains 50% of the values instead.

Champions Marked by Guilt do not count towards the end values.

I think that this creates more gameplay in genera while also reducing the amount of invisible power and creating counterplay for the opponent.l, while sticking with the general idea of the original ability. It also syncs with the name better.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}

The concept is very well made. I do have a bit of an issue with the W though. It feels like a scaled down version of Xin's ult, without the knockback. There's also a lot of invisible power, and doesn't really feel satisfying. Perhaps instead

W: Balance the Scales

Adrastia creates a zone for 3 seconds. While within the zone, Adrastia gains X Armor and Magic Resist. At the end of the duration, Adrastia gains X Armor and Magic Resist (multiplied by champions in the zone) if the number of ally champions in the zone exceeds the number of enemy champions. If there is a tie, Adrastia gains 50% of the values instead.

Champions Marked by Guilt do not count towards the end values.

I think that this creates more gameplay in genera while also reducing the amount of invisible power and creating counterplay for the opponent.l, while sticking with the general idea of the original ability. It also syncs with the name better.

Not a bad idea. I was aiming for something that helped with her target-agnosticism though, hence the resistance shredding. Maybe a defensive steroid that also gives her armor penetration or bonus damage for a short duration...or increases her damage on the next attack or two against enemies inside the initial AoE? Things to consider.

Thanks for the suggestion!

Vorazun1 votes

No problem! I think that giving her Armor penetration proportional to the amount of armor gained would be the best course of action. You did mention target agnosticism so maybe a %age of total armor would work best here?

I'm also wondering about when you'd review the concepts which are in your other thread.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}No problem! I think that giving her Armor penetration proportional to the amount of armor gained would be the best course of action. You did mention target agnosticism so maybe a %age of total armor would work best here?

That could definitely work. I'll consider it. :D

I'm also wondering about when you'd review the concepts which are in your other thread.

Planning on doing a few today. Been really busy with work's holiday hours, a pet project of mine (a full analysis and suggestion brief for an Urgot re-work that's currently pulling close to 15 pages -- may eventually post it here for those interested in a full break-down of a champion's fantasy and kit), and one or two other things. So it's slow going -- sorry about that!

Ýones1 votes

Well, this is really well made like @Lord Acacius said, but numbers need a bit of work. That ultimate damage seems a bit strong and the passive is too strong. Otherwise, it's a cool concept. If you have time, come look at my concepts. :) I put alot of effort in them and hope you guys like them!

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}

Well, this is really well made like @Lord Acacius said, but numbers need a bit of work. That ultimate damage seems a bit strong and the passive is too strong. Otherwise, it's a cool concept. If you have time, come look at my concepts. :) I put alot of effort in them and hope you guys like them!

You're definitely right on the passive: might need to drop to 8% max (12% with Infinity Edge), which might be a bit more balanced. I do think the incredibly low attack speed might help mitigate that though: she'd be hitting only every 0.8-0.9 seconds or so at level 18, which means that her damage output is VERY low compared to something like an AD carry.

But yeah -- nerfing that number would be the first balance pass, probably.

As for the ultimate, that's super high by design. I want a perfectly executed ultimate in a crowded teamfight to basically be an auto-kill if you're not interrupted by any of the other four champions around you. That's one of the challenges this concept was built to experiment with: how many circumstantial modifiers and counterplay are necessary to make a potential 90%-0% execution spell viable without feeling oppressive?

Pierce The Veal1 votes

I really like this concept. I feel like she is a good melee carry concept, but maybe the armor and mr part should be changed to fit her thematically? She sounds more like an assassin (though I guess you wanted her to be a juggernaut).

What if her w was a short dash similar to Shen's that instead intercepted projectiles and gained bonus damage on her next auto or ability based on a % of the damage that would have been dealt by those projectiles, scaling with bonus ad?

So would she passively gain bonus scaling ad?

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}

I really like this concept. I feel like she is a good melee carry concept, but maybe the armor and mr part should be changed to fit her thematically? She sounds more like an assassin (though I guess you wanted her to be a juggernaut).

She's more of a light Fighter like Yi or Tryndamere. Maybe a bit in the tankier side, since she does mix it in teamfights a but more than they do.

What if her w was a short dash similar to Shen's that instead intercepted projectiles and gained bonus damage on her next auto or ability based on a % of the damage that would have been dealt by those projectiles, scaling with bonus ad?

Steps a bit too much on Fiora's toes, I think. Not a bad suggestion though.

So would she passively gain bonus scaling ad?

All champions do. She DOES gain attack speed per level, which I should specify. Just runes / items / masteries grant her AD based on AS.

Pierce The Veal1 votes

[{quoted}](name=The Djinn,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=x4A3J4P8,comment-id=00090000,timestamp=2015-12-13T15:46:52.046+0000)

She's more of a light Fighter like Yi or Tryndamere. Maybe a bit in the tankier side, since she does mix it in teamfights a but more than they do.

Steps a bit too much on Fiora's toes, I think. Not a bad suggestion though.

All champions do. She DOES gain attack speed per level, which I should specify. Just runes / items / masteries grant her AD based on AS.

Yeah I was asking if she gained bonus attack speed and therefore AD.

I know all champs gets AD/level.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}

Yeah I was asking if she gained bonus attack speed and therefore AD.

I know all champs gets AD/level.

I figured.

Her Attack Speed does increase, but only via natural level-based increases. I'll edit that to specify later.

Pierce The Veal1 votes

[{quoted}](name=The Djinn,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=x4A3J4P8,comment-id=0009000000000000,timestamp=2015-12-13T18:06:13.278+0000)

I figured.

Her Attack Speed does increase, but only via natural level-based increases. I'll edit that to specify later.

Wait, so is her attack speed actually getting faster? So only bonus attack speed gives bonus ad and doesn't increase her attack speed? Base attack speed also increases AD but still influences attack speed?

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}

Wait, so is her attack speed actually getting faster? So only bonus attack speed gives bonus ad and doesn't increase her attack speed? Base attack speed also increases AD but still influences attack speed?

The clarification will be this:

Her base attack speed increases with level, very slightly. This increase does NOT grant extra bonus AD.

Her bonus attack speed from items / runes / masteries grants NO increase in attack speed, and instead gives her bonus AD.

Pierce The Veal1 votes

[{quoted}](name=The Djinn,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=x4A3J4P8,comment-id=000900000000000000000000,timestamp=2015-12-13T18:17:31.480+0000)

The clarification will be this:

Her base attack speed increases with level, very slightly. This increase does NOT grant extra bonus AD.

Her bonus attack speed from items / runes / masteries grants NO increase in attack speed, and instead gives her bonus AD.

Makes sense. Got it.

ExileSorrow1 votes

She id very well made please tone down the crit aspect of passive in power . Also support my champion suggestion

ModThe Djinn1 votes

Yeah...I think those numbers will need to drop a bit.

Also, if you want me to view a concept it helps to drop a link. :-P

ModThe Djinn1 votes

UPDATE: Damage on the passive has been reduced by 3% of the target's maximum health at maximum level, making the break-even point for critical damage move closer to 2400 hit points. Targets below that will take less damage with an AD build than if she had struck them with a normal critical hit.

DesolationKaizer1 votes

I'm always for the idea of a brutal vigilante hellbent on doling out justice upon the corrupt and wicked. Especially since it is Demacia, a city-state supposedly founded upon the ideas of great morality and justice. No matter how moral a city as a whole might be, there will always be those that try to abuse the system to their own ends and gain.

First of all, I really Executioner's Edge. The overall max health damage might be a bit high, but the actual idea for the kit is pretty cool and would definitely make her stand out from many similar champions. It also makes sense due to the size of the sword, a weapon made to kill in as few strikes as possible.

Scything Blade sounds interesting. I see this as her main form of trading and clearing. With how massive her attack would be, it would make sense for the second half of it to do auto attack damage. Cooldown seems kinda low to me, though that may just be me.

Balance The Scales seems a bit boring, but as a melee champion, I suppose you do need some form of survivability in a kit, especially if said champion is meant to build mostly offense, so it works.

Sweeping Guillotine is an interesting looking dash. So it flings enemies hit by the blade from behind her? Seems like a really crucial ability that can really set up the enemy team for a lot of hurt.

Glorious Execution is clearly a high-risk, high reward ultimate, urging the user to take a risk and perform it with several enemies nearby for the maximum damage. Well thought out ultimate for sure. Does the fear include enemy champions as well for the ultimate? If so, then that makes sense too. Seeing someone beheaded in an extreme fashion is bound to crush enemy moral.

Overall, I like the lore and the kit quite a bit. Not a numbers expert, but that isn't the most important thing anyway. Balance The Scales is the only part that's a bit "meh" for me, but I can understand why it's necessary

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