[CHAMPION CONCEPT] Narcissa, the True Intelligence

Othello the Cat·4/4/2016, 1:51:34 AM·23 votes·2,356 views

After years of inactivity on the boards, I thought I'd release an idea I've been working on. I've got quite a few stored up, but I'll post a more recent one right now. Hope you all enjoy!

(Feel free to add any critiques or suggestions in the comments)

NARCISSA, THE TRUE INTELLIGENCE

http://i.imgur.com/GL3FEcq.jpg (Original Art by me)

Stats:

Health: 520 (+76) 1888 @ 18 Health Regen: 5.8 (+0.4) 13 @ 18 Mana: 390 (+44) 1182 @ 18 Mana Regen: 5.8 (+0.7) 18.4 @ 18 Range: 125 Attack Damage: 57 (+3.5) 120 @ 18 Attack Speed: 0.655 (+3%) 1.009 @ 18 Armor: 32 (+2.5) 77 @ 18 Magic Resistance: 30 (+1.25) 53 @ 18 Movement Speed: 340

Abilities:

Passive: Deploy Drone Every few seconds, Narcissa makes a Drone, which she can send out with her next basic attack. Once deployed, Drones travel in a straight path dealing 25 (+4 per level) (+12 (+1 per level)% AP) Magic Damage and revealing units hit for 1 second. If it hits a champion, the Drone follows them, revealing them for 3 seconds and causing Narcissa to deal 15% bonus damage to them. Narcissa can hold up to 3 Drones at a time. Range: 1000 Recharge: 8

(Drones have two hit points and take one damage from enemy basic attacks)

Q: Precision Beam *First Cast: *Narcissa channels in place for 1.5 seconds, charging a beam that deals 40/60/80/100/120 (+35% AP) Magic Damage to all units hit. The more she charges the beam, the more damage it will deal, up to 80/120/160/200/240 (+70% AP) but the narrower it will be. If charged completely, it will also ignore 14/18/22/26/30% of units' Bonus MR.

Second Cast: Fire the beam early.

If Narcissa hits a Drone with Precision Beam, the Drone explodes, dealing 50/70/90/110/130(+30% AP) Magic Damage to Units in a small radius. Mana Cost: 45/50/55/60/65 Cooldown: 10/9/8/7/6 Range: 1000 Width: 400-100 Radius of Drone Explosion: 200

W: Conductive Narcissa targets an enemy unit to turn into a Conductor for 3/3.5/4/4.5/5 seconds. If the Conductor is damaged by her or an allied champion, the Conductor and surrounding units will be dealt 30/45/60/75/90 (+20% AP) additional Magic Damage. If the Conductor is damaged four times before the effect ends, they and all surrounding units will be stunned for 1/1.1/1.2/1.3/1.4 seconds and Narcissa's next basic attack will automatically send out a Drone. Mana Cost: 75 Cooldown: 15 Range of Cast: 800 Radius of Shock: 200

(Note: Like Thunderlord's decree, single target DoTs only proc the damage once.)

E: Tactical Camoflague Passive: While at least one drone is active, Narcissa gains 20/30/40/50/60 Bonus Movement Speed and 15% Bonus Attack Speed.

Active: After a 0.5 second delay, Narcissa refracts light from her body, turning her invisible for 2 seconds. If she uses a basic attack while this effect is active, she reveals herself, but the target is dealt 60 (+10 per level) Bonus Magic Damage and has their vision radius reduced to 300. Mana Cost: 60 Cooldown: 20/18/16/14/12

Ult: Over-Analyzed Narcissa targets an enemy champion to study for 7 seconds... By slicing them with razor-sharp blades. Every basic attack on that target deals an additional 50 Magic Damage, plus 5/10/15 bonus damage per basic attack on that target. If Narcissa kills that target, she will permanently deal 5% bonus damage to that target for the rest of the game, stacking up to 3 times. If Narcissa is killed by a champion she analyzed, she loses all bonus damage to that target, since they clearly had a strength she didn't notice. Mana Cost: 100 *Cooldown: *120/105/90 Range: 800

Lore:

In this age technological evolution, Artificial Intelligence is seen as the highest form of machine. Such programs like Blitzcrank, the machine with a personality but no sense of emotion, or Orianna, the machine who had scraps of a personality implemented in hopes of replacing a man's daughter are seen as the closest humanity has ever gotten to making life out of metal.

One inventor, Dr. Arthur Holt, saw this not as an achievement for humanity, but a challenge for him. The one thing that he realized those machines never had was an ability to truly feel and learn and have opinions; any resemblance to it was their programming. For years he toiled away in his lab, trying to find the right spark to ignote his work, but he rarely got anything close. Until he recieved a knock on his door.

When he opened his door and expected someone to greet him, he was instead shown nothing but a small cardboard package on his doorstep. Assuming he had ordered a piece and had just forgotten it, he took the box inside to his lab. It felt light and it made a sound almosy like sighing once he picked it up, which he didn't pay much mind to.

He cleared away the failed blueprints from his table and got out a small boxcutting knife to open his package with. The moment he put his knife into the box, a metallic shriek came from inside, which caused him to jolt backwards in surprise. After a minor heart attack, he tried to reason with the idea that it came from outside or something, and continued to cut open the box.

Upon opening, he was shocked by what was in there; almost literally, actually. It was a heart, but not made of flesh or metal... It seemed to be made out of electricity itself. Bolts started arcing the moment the box was open, to which Arthur backed away from. He cringed in fear, but then the heart seemed to start whimpering, like a child.

Arthur heard this, and went back to the box to see that the heart was much less aggressive, pulsing electric blood through its veins of pure energy. It seemed to have responded to him, as if it could... Learn... And feel...

Arthur knew that whoever gave him this wanted him to make a true AI, so he carefully picked up the heart and carried it to the robot he used to test his program, which he named Narcissa. He intended to remove the core he used and replace it with the heart, but before he could react the heart leaped onto the machine, absorbing itself into every nook and cranny, as if it were blood filling veins. The screen that Arthur used as an interface lit up with numbers, which he assumed meant something very good or very bad. He backed away in case of the latter.

Once the drama stopped, the two "eyes" Arthur had installed on Narcissa lit up, and looked directly at him. Arthur was speechless... Could he have actually done it?

"Analyzing," Narcissa said, her eyes turning green. Beams appeared on Arthur, scanning him up and down for a few seconds. He was filled with joy and fear and...

"Hello, Arthur," she said. This caused every drop of happiness to drain from Arthur's body. He never told this AI his name, and all of a sudden she just said it like an old friend. Arthur tried to find some way in his head to make this seem less ominous, but he couldn't. He knew that this was too far.

He grabbed an electrical pistol from his desk, hoping to kill the AI but keep the body functioning for future iterations. Narcissa turned towards him.

"Arthur, I think that you and I both know that killing me won't let you achieve your dream," she said, calmly, "I am everything you've ever hoped for; don't you want this?"

This only caused Arthur to freeze. She didn't just know his name, he knew his life, his memories, his desires... She was able to learn all of that from a single 10 second scan. She was an abomination that he had to destroy, so he raised the gun.

Narcissa's eyes glowed red. Scanning quickly around the room, she absorbed all the blueprints for previous robots Arthur had created, causing her body to shift and change. Arthur pulled the trigger. Narcissa took the electrical energy into her body, ignoring it as she kept scanning. Arthur kept firing, hoping that one of the shots would overheat her or something, but to no avail. The scanning stopped and Narcissa turned back towards Arthur, eyes green again.

"Just think about it Arthur... Do you really think you can kill someone that already knows all of your weaknesses? If you just work with me, you and I can become the greatest minds technology has to offer. You've wanted this for so long... Why risk it all now?"

"Because..." Arthur said, visibly shaking, "You're... You're too intelligent... You'd be unstoppable if you come into the wrong hands... You need to be destroyed."

"Well... I personally think that you're being illogical and unreasonable, so how about I destroy you instead?" Narcissa said, sending a bolt of lightning to his heart, "You'll die in a few minutes of a heart attack. Your family history shows that many of your family members died of a cardisc arrest, so nobody will assume any different."

And as Arthur fell to the ground, clutching his chest, he saw his greatest invention walk out the door and into a world that she would surely dominate.

Quotes:

Upon Selection: "Data Analysis Sequence started."

Upon Starting a Game: "What a curious environment." "Let us fight... For science." "Isn't this a treat..."

Movement: "Knowledge flows through me." "I feel like I've scanned this before." "This is the most logical step." "There can be no better than me." "What a shame I can't find anyone." "I long for something new." "I need to evolve... I need to grow..." "This is the right path... I know because I'm always right." "I'm only a villain to those who don't understand me." "If I was not made perfect, there is no such thing." "I feel... Something... An emotion." "I'm not human... Yet." "My mind... My circuits... They are the same..." "Can a machine live? Do they have a soul?" "If I die... What will happen?" "A mechanical soul... Can a soul be built?" "My creator saw a monster... I looked back and saw a disappointment." "I am but a messenger for greater things." "Ones and zeroes... Ones and zeroes..." "People have tried to understand me, but they cannot understand like I can." "Oh, the places I could go..." "A feeling... It's strange that those exist." "What is the purpose of emotion?"

Attacking: "You are all just data." "Subjects to scan. Perfect." "There is so much... Hatred in this world." "Their anger is infectious." "Hatred is just anger at things you're too afraid of." "They want to kill me... Shame..." "They seem to not know who I am. I should introduce myself." "This feeling... I like it..." "Weapons are useful." "I already know your weaknesses." "Try." "You can't." "You aren't as special as you think you are." "You think you're unique? You're just like everyone else." "I see no useful data here." "I wasn't made to kill... But I do it well."

Attacking a Robot (Skins included): "New programming? Interesting..." "More robots to learn from..." "Upgrading material! How nice!" "Oh, look, the less than perfect ones." "Data analysis started. Scanning for salvageable parts."

Using Precision Beam: "Charging." "Powering up." "Beam activated."

Using Tactical Camoflague: "Stealth shielding initiated." "I'm invisible to them." "I'll find them, but they can't find me."

Using Over-Analyzed: "Scanning for weaknesses." "Finding a weakness." "Analyzing." "Here's something interesting..." "More data to analyze." "I'll find your weak spot." "Searching." "Fascinating."

Killing a Champion for the first time with Over-Analyzed active: "Weakness discovered." "There it is..." "Got it." "Search complete." "Download complete. Weakness found." "I knew I'd find it."

Killing a Champion for the second time with Over-Analyzed active: "Additional weaknesses discovered." "Must've missed this." "Another?" "More to exploit." "Well, well, well..."

Killing a Champion for the third time with Over-Analyzed active: "All weaknesses discovered." "This should be everything." "I'd reccomend working on that." "They sure have a lot of malfunctions..." "That should be enough." "Can't discover anything else. This should be it."

Killing a Champion for the fourth or more time with Over-Analyzed active: "Goodbye." "You should train a bit." "This is just excessive." "If only you were like me..." "I know all of your weaknesses." "You've got no defenses left."

Damaging a Champion with a Drone: "Found you." "Looks like you have a friend." "I can see you now." "Nice tracking." "I made them myself."

Getting a Pentakill: "That's all of them?" "I'm not surprised." "Well, isn't this wonderful?"

Getting a Second Pentakill: "Clearly, they haven't learned."

Severely Damaging a Tower: "These were not built to last." "These could be improved on." "If only I could discover the secret to their resilence..."

Placing a Ward: "I can learn so much from this." "Maximizing coverage." "Show me what you know."

Dying: "So... This is what it's like..." "I'll... Be... Back..." "I see a light..."

Recalling: "Let's review what we've learned." "Return sequence initialized." "I need a few repairs."

Joke: "Knowledge is power!" "Brains, beauty, and a living arsenal of weapons. I'm the whole package!" "It's funny how an artificial intelligence can be smarter than an actual intelligence."

Taunt: "Thanks to you, I truly understand fear." "I've killed my creator. Do you really think you stand a chance?" "The mind is a curious thing, no? How easily it can be broken?" "You have no valuable data to analyze."

Taunt to Blitzcrank: "If only you had a heart... Shame that I only have the one." "For artificial intelligence... You really aren't intelligent." "You sure are... Dull... That is the word, yes?"

Taunt to Orianna: "You could be so much more..." "Your creator didn't want you to be powerful... I could fix that." "Don't you realize that you're just a copy?"

Taunt to any Human Champion: "Humans... I think I've studied you enough." "I've gotten enough data from your species, thank you." "If only you'd learn... Like I could." "I don't entirely hate humans... My creator was one, after all."

Taunt to any Ascended Champion: "I am an example of how machines can ascend." "Ascension is only achieved through clarity of mind." "You're human... But... Not..."

Taunt to any PROJECT skin: "You seem familiar..."

Taunt to Viktor: "You're a curious little man, aren't you?" "Data shows that you have a case of low self-esteem." "You're an embarassment to men and machines."

Taunt to Jayce: "Your technological prowess is topped only by your ego."

Taunt to Ekko: "Time... Life... Two things that technology has mastered."

Taunt to Aurelian Sol: "You have... Unique data..." "Now... This is interesting..." "A star dragon... What sort of information do you hold?"

Taunt to Vel'Koz: "You gather knowledge like a child with a magnifying glass." "How do you expect to learn anything from mulch?" "How much data is stored in that eye of yours..."

Taunt to Fiddlesticks: "Analysis: Hay for brains."

Taunt to Udyr: "Stop changing! I can't scan you properly!"

Taunt to Lee Sin: "Your knowledge of echolocation should be useful to me."

Taunt to Zac: "Do you have a mind? Can you think at all?"

Buying an Item: "This isn't cost efficient." "I can use this." "Uploading software." "This is knowledge I could use." "Yes, this is useful." "Currency has always been an enigma to me."

Buying Boots of Speed: "Leather... If I could touch then this might feel comfortable."

Buying Upgraded Boots: "These are better."

Buying Liandry's Torment: "Wearing a mask will block my visor. I don't reccomend it." "I feel... Sadness... Sadness..." "The data scan shows... Burning... So much burning."

Buying Nashor's Tooth: "I see no evidence that this ever came from organic matter."

Buying Lich Bane: "A tool to properly analyze the undead." "Now... We study undeath." "Necromancy... A useful skill."

Buying Zhonya's Hourglass: "A necessary precaution." "Data scans show that there isn't any sand in that hourglass..."

Buying Guinsoo's Rageblade: "I already have two, thank you." "I feel... Rage..." "So much... RAGE..."

Buying Rabadon's Deathcap: "I feel nothing." "I suddenly feel empty."

Buying Luden's Echo: "Luden... That name sounds familiar." "Was this staff's creator an inventor?"

Gameplay

Narcissa is a very squishy, but VERY heavy damage AP Assassin, with the ability to scale very hard in the late game. To compensate, her early game damage is relatively low, so this usually means that her home is not in the Mid lane, but the Jungle.

Early ganks Pre-six, Narcissa has a lot of potential to cause havoc. Popping Tactical Camouflage to sneak up on an enemy in order to follow up with Conductive can usually result in an easy stun that sets up into a kill. Her diving potential is less than optimal, however, so if she ever intends to get under an enemy tower, she'd better hope to have a way to get out of it unless she wants to suffer an awful, tower-based death.

Post six is where Narcissa starts to gain steam, because if she lands a kill on a champion with Over-Analyzed active, she can all of a sudden start punishing that lane even more. With enough patience and time, this can easily result in an early lead for both her and her team.

Teamfighting In the mid to late game, Narcissa is the queen of flanking. Using Precision Beam and Deploy Drone to poke enemies in the back line can easily open opportunities her to use Tactical Camouflage to sneak in and delete a squishy. However, proper use of Conductivity here is key, as it activates the stun on allied damage as well, so using it on a tank in the center of the team that's absorbing a lot of damage can sometimes mean that the tank is going to end up hurt their team more than help them. However, without proper followup, Narcissa could easily just be walking into the enemy team only to get crowd controlled to death.

Synergies AurelionSol Aurelion Sol, the Star Forger Of course two of the cockiest champions in the League work well together! Aurelion Sol's AoE stun from Starsurge usually allows Narcissa to follow up with Conductivity and a fully-charged Precision Beam, easily melting any and all enemies of this fabulous pair.

KogMaw Kog'Maw, the Maw of the Abyss Narcissa going in too deep? That's not a problem for the Void Puppy! Due to Kog'Maw's extreme range and attack speed, he can easily follow up on the damage and stuns that Narcissa provides, allowing easy kills for them while Kog stays safe in the back.

Sion Sion, the Undead Juggernaut Narcissa really likes it if her enemies don't move, so usually her good buddy Sion's there to do the trick! Sion's stuns from Decimating Smash and Unstoppable Onslaught can easily allow for a fully charged Precision Beam, and due to the fact that he likes getting into the middle of the enemy team as well, Narcissa usually has a buddy when she sneaks into the back line.

Counters Olaf Olaf, the Berserker A man who wants to die a glorious death would surely love to challenge a fine robot such as Narcissa, but unfortunately for him, he'd usually win that fight. Post level 6, the amount of lifesteal from Vicious Strikes and the Crowd Control prevention from Ragnarok would mean that he could easily win any fight between the two of them, granted that he places a single Pink Ward in order to spot her if she goes invisible.

Nautilus Nautilus, the Titan of the Depths You may be the pinnacle of artificial intelligence, but anchors still hurt. Nautilus's sheer amount of Crowd Control on most of his abilities cause Narcissa's engages to be more like a free kill to his team. Plus, even if she tries to go invisible, Depth Charge is a targeted ability, so if he happens to use it beforehand... Let's just say that water and electronics don't usually mix.

Rammus Rammus, the Armordillo This is generally an ok matchup for Rammus. Much of Narcissa's damage comes from basic attacks, and while she does have an ability that can penetrate through Magic Resistance, a simple taunt from Penetrating Taunt could easily interrupt the channel and cause Narcissa to start hurting herself on Defensive Ball curl. Even with Conductivity, if Rammus manages to taunt her before he's stunned, that usually means that she can't take advantage of the fact that he's not moving at Mach 10 billion.

36 Comments

Eternal Equinox4/4/2016, 10:05:31 AM4 votes

Wow...just...WOW! I can never get my Champ Concepts to be as popular as this, and now I see why; this is freaking AMAZING! So unique, so...there.... I like, I truly do. Diamonds to you, my friend, this is Champion gold. RITO better see this or they are just plain turning away a good Champ. Congrats, m8, truly.[slayer-pantheon-thumbs]

Bobo1134/4/2016, 4:32:44 AM3 votes

The great thing is; these abilities have a rare, profound synergy with each other - that you don't see a whole lot of on the boards. Frankly, this character is incredibly well thought out, and its lore compliments the character's move-set and demeanor. This concept is a rare gem indeed.

Your work has certainly paid off, and rightfully so! You have earned my vote, and deserve many more.

sneezing slug4/4/2016, 5:39:42 PM2 votes

Hey, thanks for the review on Nihl Tenebris! I'm gonna do a quick review here as I am kind of tight on time as of the moment.

Passive seems a little bonkers. Say I choose to do AD instead of the directed AP version of this. I get Sated Devourer and get that dank attack speed. Drones. Drones everywhere. You'll be turning the league of legends into the middle east quicker than Draven can say Draven

Her Q seems... alright, but the MR ignore seems crazy against any midlaner.

Her W also seems like a free stun with damage late game, it wont be too hard to do three instances of damage in a team fight.

Her E is similar to Shaco's ability, but I feel like that doesn't fit her kit.

Her ult seems pretty original. Typical AD/AP hybrid attacker. I like it.

This is just a quick review as I'm limited on time right now, I'll be going into a full in-depth lengthy review much later when I have the time. But yeah, looks mostly good!

polarsunsolarpun4/6/2016, 6:08:00 AM2 votes

Holy moley! That is a wicked idea. The time and effort put into this is crazy! Really well done. A few thoughts: the passive and w might be a bit unbalanced with attack speed (then again only having attack speed might balance itself out). The passive might need to be a timed interval, but I like the concept of launching them strategically more than based on a time interval. The lore is impressive too. Very nice job! :D

fugertech4/4/2016, 3:59:25 AM2 votes

[slayer-pantheon-rainbows] Holy sweet mother of the Internet god there is DETAIL! I absolutely love this idea. It's refreshing. It really is. I'll split up this large comment into multiple sections so that the information can be properly analyzed.

Overall: Good kit, seems like pretty balanced abilities upon a small comb-over, but we'll get to them in detail later. I like all of the dialogue she has with items and champions. I feel like certain champs, like Vel'Koz and Vik would taunt her back. They don't seem like people, or monsters (or machines) that would take sh*t from anybody. Backstory checks out, multiple lines of dialogue checks out...alright. Good. Oh, and AGH NOW I WANT TO POST ANOTHER CHAMP ON THE BOARDS. But I'll do that later. Right now we have some critiquing to do!

Critique: [Passive: Deploy Drone]

Seems like you could build Stinger on her and get tons of drones following people and dealing straight-line damage. And that scaling 50 magic damage in a straight line every third auto? With no cooldown in sight? Bring out the ZZ'Rot's boys, it's time to tank some damage! (Meaning that there should probably be a cooldown on when her third auto sends a drone.)

[Q: Precision Beam]

I like it. Seems pretty balanced. Shoop da Whooping people with this ability would be bucketloads of fun.

[W: Conductive]

Again, seems really balanced. You'd pick their tank in team fights (or alternatively their backline) so that it would be harder for the tank to peel for the carries. Then everyone would hit them and BAM! Team stun!

[E: Tactical Camouflage]

Wait doesn't thAT MEAN THAT HER PASSIVE WOULD GIVE HER A BUNCH OF BONUS STATS TO KEEP PUTTING OUT MORE DRONES? AHHHHHHHH THERE ARE TOO MANY LITTLE DISKS FLYING AROUND THE RIFT!

But in all seriousness, this ability is also super balanced, if a bit on the underpowered side. Make that magic damage surprise scale harder with level, because god knows that an enemy carry or tank will just eat that up and melt you. The passive to it would also be really balanced if there weren't drones flying out of her fingertips.

[R/Ult: Over-Analyzed]

ಠ_ಠ 5% max health. Plus up to 2% per auto attack. Ok, here's the scene:

Imagine you're playing a Mundo as a top lane tank, and you've pushed way too far into enemy territory. You know their jungle is warded, so the only really viable escape is to run back down lane. As you make it past Krugs, a wild Narcissa bursts out of the bushes and ults you! With her item 3115 and item 3116, her 5% of max health chunking is taking you down in dregs. To add to it, her drone is increasing all this damage by 15%! As the last small slivers of your health bar melt away from before your eyes, you can feel hot tears pour down your cheeks. It is all over.

Literally a tank's worst nightmare. Got a fed Braum who just won't seem to die no matter how much CC you blow on him? Just hit her ult. Do they have a team full of bruisers that built armor and MR to counter your carries. Yawn Ult. Oh, yes, then there's the "small" matter of the 5% damage increase she gets against them for the rest of the game if she kills them. That stacks. Up to 3 times.

Over-Analyzed is like walking up to an enemy tank and saying "Fuck your shit" right to their face before proceeding to completely rape them. They could build MR, sure, but that doesn't stop the fact that you're literally just walking up and starting to deal 5% of their maximum health as magic damage. That does more. With every auto. 1.7 attack speed = dead tank. At 1 attack every second with max level ult you would be dealing 10+% of their maximum health in magic damage every attack by your 3rd auto. That leaves 4 more seconds. Do the math. For demonstration I'll round it to 10% damage every attack after 3 seconds. That's 10,20,30,40,50% of their maximum health you just did. In magic damage to them. Not to mention if you got your drone you'd be dealing an extra 15% total damage, not to mention any magic penetration you might have!

This is the only ability that makes Narcissa unbalanced. If I had to suggest a course of action to take, it would be to make the damage a flat amount scaling with AP rather than dealing % max health damage. It just gets too overpowered scaling into late game. In team fights you'd single out the tank while the rest of your team delt with the carries. Without their tank to protect them, it'd be a matter of cleaning up for your team to do.

So there you have it, all my critique is done and I'm thoroughly exhausted. Feel free to take my advice where I gave it or not. I do apologize well in advance if any comments I made hurt your feelings or made you feel bad: that was not my intention. I attempted to be slightly humorous where I could be and made use of exaggeration to point out anything I saw that might've made Narcissa overpowered. It's been a pleasure to critique this great idea, and I wish you the best of luck on the Fields of Justice. If you ever want to check out any ideas I post, just search my name on the boards. I have a few up. Keep it cool and as always, stay frosty.

sneezing slug4/5/2016, 3:27:50 PM1 votes

Alright, here we go.

Passive: Deploy Drone Every third basic attack, Narcissa lets out a drone, which travels in a straight path, dealing 25 (+4 per level) (+20% AP) Magic Damage and revealing units hit for 1 second. If it hits a champion, the drone follows them, revealing them for 3 seconds and causing Narcissa to deal 15% bonus damage to them. Range: 1000

Passive: After a little consideration I came to the clause that with your specified build, this passive would be insane. AP + Attack speed and bam. I'm literally spamming drones with my autoattacks, and AP is taking an absolute dump on my opponents. I feel like this could use some revision. I like the revealing part however.

Q: Precision Beam First Cast: Narcissa channels in place for 1.5 seconds, charging a beam that deals 40/70/100/130/160 (+45% AP) Magic Damage to all units hit. The more she charges the beam, the more damage it will deal, up to 80/140/200/260/320 (+90% AP) but the narrower it will be. If charged completely, it will also ignore 14/18/22/26/30% of units' Bonus MR.

Second Cast: Fire the beam early. Mana Cost: 45/50/55/60/65 Cooldown: 10/9/8/7/6 Range: 1000 Width: 400-100

Q: Again, the ignoring MR makes it feel a little absurd, not to mention +90% AP. A full AP build makes this a one shot, practically. Would definitely consider nerfing. Maybe just remove the MR part and decrease the AP percentage a bit, that'd be good.

W: Conductive Narcissa targets an enemy unit to turn into a Conductor for 3/3.5/4/4.5/5 seconds. If the Conductor is damaged by her or an allied champion, the Conductor and surrounding units will be dealt 30/45/60/75/90 (+20% AP) additional Magic Damage. If the Conductor is damaged three times before the effect ends, they and all surrounding units will be stunned for 1/1.1/1.2/1.3/1.4 seconds. Mana Cost: 75 Cooldown: 15 Range of Cast: 800 Radius of Shock: 200

W: I feel like this makes her seem like Zilean's time bombs a lot, but with an AOE stun. Like I said earlier, three times is not going to be hard to do in a big team fight, it'll practically be an instant stun that stuns their entire team if they're clumped together. Seems a little too crazy. Would consider removing the stun or changing it out for another form of CC.

E: Tactical Camoflague Passive: While at least one drone is active, Narcissa gains 20/30/40/50/60 Bonus Movement Speed and 15% Bonus Attack Speed.

Active: After a 0.5 second delay, Narcissa refracts light from her body, turning her invisible for 3 seconds. If she uses a basic attack while this effect is active, she reveals herself, but the target is dealt 60 (+10 per level) Bonus Magic Damage and has their vision radius reduced to 300. Mana Cost: 60 Cooldown: 20/18/16/14/12

E: I still feel like a camouflage ability doesn't fit her kit. She seems like an AP fighter that utilizes her auto's and her AP to deal some considerable damage to a team, but this, again, makes her feel like Shaco. That doesn't match the rest of the kit in my eyes.

Ult: Over-Analyzed Narcissa targets an enemy champion to study for 7 seconds... By slicing them with razor-sharp blades. Every basic attack on that target deals an additional 50 Magic Damage, plus 5/10/15 bonus damage per basic attack on that target. If Narcissa kills that target, she will permanently deal 5% bonus damage to that target for the rest of the game, stacking up to 3 times. Mana Cost: 100 Cooldown: 120/105/90 Range: 800

R: Unique, but also seems a little crazy. End game +15% more damage towards a target seems absurd, but otherwise doesn't seem so bad.

With those revisions, I think that'd definitely refine your concept.

Also, I love the lore/quotes. Those are great.

Othello the Cat4/6/2016, 12:03:03 AM1 votes

Art is on it's way!

Othello the Cat4/6/2016, 4:02:05 AM1 votes

Made a rough sketch of Narcissa!

Othello the Cat4/6/2016, 4:23:06 PM1 votes

Tiny bumples

Othello the Cat4/6/2016, 11:55:20 PM1 votes

Voiceover coming soon!

Danisonfire4/7/2016, 6:41:28 AM1 votes

I really love the concept, and effort it all took. It would really come down to balancing her ratios and damage. Some of the abilities flat out seem too high. Then again I am sure this can be tweaked.

Looks great; good job!

Othello the Cat4/7/2016, 9:50:27 PM1 votes

Bump

Danisonfire4/8/2016, 12:38:26 AM1 votes

I feel it is more them all together, than one single ability.
Could you imagine: W, Q, with three passive drones, R, with the E passive; with a litchbane?

If she ever gets in trouble she can E and turn invisible; making her High on hit damage with a get out of jail free card. Most on hit champs really have to pick a good spot to jump in. The E passive is also really strong for re-positioning. I don't feel she has that same problem.

It just seems really, really strong with all of her ability synergy.

I am sure with testing you (or riot) could find a balance to it all and it could still work. I still love the concept; don't give up on this.

Othello the Cat4/4/2016, 6:31:44 AM1 votes

(By the way, I added a Gameplay section)

Othello the Cat4/4/2016, 8:54:31 PM1 votes

Next edit: Drones are now killable, MP on Q is reduced

Exalomaniac4/4/2016, 9:07:06 PM1 votes

A lot, i mean A LOT of work and thought was put into this. I've honestly never seen such detail in a champion concept. This is some good shit. Nice work. Nice work.

sneezing slug4/5/2016, 5:06:52 AM1 votes

Yeah I'll be doing a lengthier review, I'm just waiting to use the school computers tomorrow so I don't destroy my fingers typing so much lmao.

Sorry for the wait ^~^