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Delta, A.K.A Sirius, The Zaunite Mercenary

Gamer Gallade·9/18/2016, 10:27:31 AM·1 votes·758 views
http://the-zaunite-mercenary.tumblr.com/lore

The link is what he looks like and is the old lore i made for him and his old skill set.

When i made this champion for the first time. I wanted him to be unique in his own way, the problem was that i made skills feel a little too unique with the fact that i game him 3 different skill sets. So I toned it down to be one whole skill set and revolve his passive to impact his play style a little better. I want him to be an fighter/assassin play style champion. His passive gives him poke but it heavily interacts with his skills that it gives the player decision making of when and which spell you want to use. In his lore, he is a mercenary and he is doing his best to be prepared with the tools he got and manage his own life in the process.

Lore

Delta, or Sirius, was child of a well renown Hex-tech Engineer that helped build some of Piltover's security and Hex-tech weapons.(Ex. item 3145 item 3146 item 3152 item 3030)

When Sirius was 5, His father's secret was soon to be reviled if he makes weapons of mass destruction for Zaun and Noxus to use for war or disappear from the face of earth and never to be heard of again. He choose to disappear for the safety of his only son and to not make a grave mistake of bringing total destruction to innocent lives. Moments after Sirius was wondering where his father left and went to find him only to wonder off to Zaun. For his father told him the truth of his past life, He went to try to find him only to be lost and never to be heard from his own mother. Due to Piltover laws, Piltover can never interfere with Zaun or it will cause serious problems for both factions. So The child was never heard of in Piltover again.

Meanwhile in Zaun, Sirius was lost and had no where to live in. He knew that he has an uncle to search for but he has no clue to go. All he has to do is survive in the slums of Zaun.

As years passed, Sirius, who is now know as Delta, is older but still naive to the streets of Zaun. Luckly he has friends and someone to call his family.Vi Jinx They are the best of friends that almost nothing can separate them, almost... When a heists went wrong, Vi got mad and want to leave the family. As the family started to fall apart, Jinx was starting to get mad at the one person they can trust is now gone. Delta tries to calm her down with all of his reasoning, only to fail on calming her down while she starts to go insane. He starts to feel guilty for losing his family again, he doesn't to lose anyone again. So he starts to wonder off to find his father again or better yet, his only remaining family being his own uncle.

Two years passes, He hears that people are getting kidnapped for strange reasons. He was worried that he may get kidnapped and find out the reason for them. One night, Delta was caught off guard and was captured to be taken to a mad scientist named Edmundo.DrMundo He was caged and left weaken for days. He started to not care for the other prisoners and only care for himself, all he wanted was to survive in the rotting lab. When it was his turn, he didn't cared for what was gonna happen, all he thought it was some harmless experiment. He was wrong for the very least, he saw rotting flesh, cut limbs, and dead bodies. All he wanted was to get out now, that was all in his mind now, for he was strapped in a table and was going to be injected something for what they called "Darkin Blood". He didn't want to find out and tried his best to escape for the hellish lab it is. As his mind starts to become dark, all he saw was a shadowy figure... He started to hear voices, the promise of power to protect the people that he cared about. The same promise that will find his father and escape from the lab.

"You have nothing to fear anymore..." said the shadow. "What is this?!?! Why am I hearing this?! Who are you ?!" responded Delta "You're being infused by my blood that will grant you power beyond belief... You will become A 'Darkin'... The reason why you are hearing this is because all the other hosts are not to my standards... They where pathetic for my liking... You on the other hand... You show the promise of great straight... As for the final question you asked... I am THE DARKIN LORD OF DESTRUCTION!!! THE DARKIN WHO WILL FOREVER BECOME YOUR HOST!!!" Screamed the Darkin.

"NOW UNLEASH THIS POWER AND RUN RAMPED ON THE ONES WHO FOREVER CURSED YOU!!!" Demanded the Darkin.

As he breaks free of his chains, he killed two people who gave him the blood and started to escape for his life. When the head scientist, Edmundo, sees the results. He wanted to capture him back and do more studies to find out what makes him so special. As the enraged Delta escapes from the lab, Edmundo find him and throws a cleaver at him to slow him down.
Lucky Delta escaped but was injured from the cleaver Edmundo threw. To make matter worse, the Cleaver was not cleaned for weeks that it was infected. He removed the cleaver and try to find a way to clean himself from the infected wound. Hours passes and the wound is getting worse for every hour that passes, Delta has no choose but to remove his left arm. So he found the sharpest thing he could find and cut his arm off the quickest way possible, as he cuts his arm off, he is suffering from the pain of his muscle being torn from the sharp piece of glass he found. When he finally cut his arm off, he continues to live with one arm missing for the rest of his life, knowing that this city is much worse then he imagined.

Another few years passes, Delta was tired of surviving with one arm. When he saw a man named Viktor Viktor, he saw what appears to be a machine in a shape of an arm, he had learn how he have made one so that he can make one of his own. He looked more machine then man but when they talked, he stared to talk about how he reminded him of his father and how they wanted to make the world a better place. Then it hit Delta, his father told him that his brother wants to achieve the same dream as him... When they finished talking about how to make the metal arm and talking about how Viktor reminds Delta of his father, Viktor asked who is his father. When he said his name, Viktor was shocked on how he left his son in such bad shape and leave him in such a horrible city. Even though Viktor was mad at his own brother, Delta was happy to find his uncle. As they both realized that they are family, they will find out why 'he' had to leave. So as both Viktor and Delta made a Hextech arm. They want to test the arm out, but Delta had other plans for it. As he told his uncle about his plan, He plans to 'obtain' a sword that can nullify magic but also nullify the user from using magic until death that was retrieved from battle from an Ionian chief of command and a True Ice Pendant that was raided from an ancient Frelord Temple that is told to give power to a chosen man that posses the power of a demon. Even though Viktor told him not to steal them, Delta was going to anyway.

"Sorry, Uncle. Something about those items are just calling to me. I can't shake it off the fact that those items are just made for me." Delta responded.

As Delta finds the place, he knew it was gonna be heavily guarded and wasn't going to be easy. As all hell breaks loose, Delta starts to shot off his arm cannon and starts to charge shot by shot. Later on he was overwhelmed and goes for broke and shots a massive shot to a group of goons that wanted to sell the items to the black market. Unfortunately, his arm started to overheat and cant use the cannon until it cools down. So he guns towards the 2 items and grabs them without hurry. First the Pendant started to glow and is respond to his Darkin power. After that, He grabbed the sword and feels the Darkin power to weaken from within for the sole reason to keep his mind in control. Lastly his arm finally cooled down and was ready for action.

"I dont know about you guys. I bet this is gonna be fun to the very end. Best thing i can tell you is, good luck... Your gonna need it." said it with a psychotic attitude.

Moments later, as he returns to his own uncle's lab. He was missing right eye and was full of blood of his enemies and a little bit of his own. Delta started to laugh a bit, mainly due to the rush he got from the fight, and told Viktor how wrong this city is. Eventually he started to cry, because he knew that this city was corrupted beyond his reasoning. He even figured out why his father left in the first place, He wants to find the man who blacked mailed his father to force him to create weapons or leave his life, only to doomed his life own life in the first place.

Both Viktor and Delta will agree that the city needs to be fixed, for better or worse.

Eventually Delta started to make a business to get paid to do what he loves to do. Making chaos or finding certain items they requests while trying to make Zaun into a better place.

Allies: Viktor,Caitlyn Riven

Friends:Ekko Vi Jinx

Enemies:DrMundo Warwick Singed Jayce Jhin

Statistics

Health: 507 + 71 Health Regen: 4.2 + 0.55 Ranged: 150 melee Attack Damage: 51 + 3.2 Attack Speed: 0.625 +3.5% Capped at 18: 221% Armor: 25 + 3 Magic Resistances: 30 + 0 Movement Speed: 325

Abilities

Passive: Hex-tech Charge Cannon.

Cooldown 25/20/15/10 sec

In combat Delta's next 3 auto attacks are ranged attacks (550 range) for 3 seconds each, each shot deal (1.0/1.25/1.5/1.75 total AD)(.25/.30/.45/.55 AP) The third shot is overcharged dealing 50% extra damage and can knock-back both Delta and his target for 150 range away from each other. Each shot costs 2% of your current health.

If you have charges and you use an ability, it consumes a charge and will activate the following effect. This passive will affect with the other skills.

Q:_ FrostGuardian's True Ice_

Cooldown 20/18/16/14/12 secs Cost:5% of current health.

Passive: When out of combat, this heals (2/2.5/3/3.5/4)% of your Maximum health for every 5 seconds. If this is on cooldown, this passive is disabled

Active: If you have no charges. your next basic attack damage for (1.0 AD) (1.25 AP) and Stun the target for 1.1/1.2/1.3/1.4/1.5

If you have a charge. Delta shoots a frozen round to freeze a small area and snares anyone for 1.5 seconds enemies caught in the blast are damaged for 50(.25 AP)/100(.3 AP)/150(.35 AP)/200(.35 AP)/250(.4 AP) magic damage.(400 radius & 750 range). _If this the charge is overcharged, The frozen zone will erupt and deal an extra 50(.25 AP)/100(.3 AP)/150(.35 AP)/200(.35 AP)/250(.4 AP) magic damage. _ W: Darkin Flames

Cooldown: 25/23/21/19/17 seconds

Cost: 7.5% of current health

If you have no charges,dash Next basic attack will burn for (2/3/4/5/6)% +(2% per 100 bouns AD)(1% per 100 AP) of its maximum health for 3 seconds as Magic damage. (this cannot critically strike)

If you have a charge, The next shot will deal (1.5 /1.55/1.65/1.80/2.0 AD)(.1/.2/.3/.4/.5 AP) and shred 10%/15%/20%/25%/30% Armor and Magic Resist for 3 seconds instead as physical damage. _If the charge is Overcharged, damage and shred is increased by 50% _

E: Spell Break

Cooldown: 20/17/13/11/9 seconds

Delta braces himself to block/intercept an ability or attack. If Spell Break succeeds on blocking; he will target a champion to charge towards his target (400 range) and deal (1.5% AD) physical damage.

If you have a charge, if Spell Break succeeds on blocking he gains 25%/30%/35%/40% movement speed for 3 seconds but slowly decays. If the charge is overcharged, the movement Speed effect is doubled.

R:Unstable Power

Cooldown: 180/120/90/60

Passive: When Delta drops below (30)% health, he gains 100 extra attack range(Doesnt effect his passive attack range), 75 movement speed, and has 30% reduce damage for 6 seconds. He automatically gains this though level 1 When ranking up Unstable Power, You can choose one of the following.

  • Delta's Strength and Will: Grants (10/15/20) % Tenacity and (15/20/25)% Damage increase.
  • Darkin's Bloodlusts: When inflicting damage he heals for 15%/20%/25% based on damage dealt.
  • FrostGuardian's Armor: When inflict damage with one ability he gains a shield that absorbs based on 20%/30%/40% damage dealt for 2 seconds.

Miscellaneous

CaitlynCaitlyn is his ally because She has some cases involved with Zaun and can't solved them with out Delta. She is the only other Zaunite she trusts(for the exception for VIVi) RivenRiven and Delta share a common goal and want to change their cities for the better. Delta also offered to live with him but Riven refused. Even though Delta understands Riven's pain of loss. He will never respect JayceJayce for 2 reasons one for the assault on Viktor's lab and for being called a hero and being given the Title Defender of Tomorrow. He even thinks Jayce is a poser for being more reckless then him and will eventually cause a war between Piltover and Zaun. He knows of Jhin'sJhin work and wants to stop him at all costs, he despise him for killing innocent lives and calling them "art". All he sees is death.

9 Comments

CobaltTheMadMage9/18/2016, 10:06:19 PM3 votes

Lore crosses itself with way too many existing champions and items for no particularly good reason, to say nothing of how much established lore it gets wrong. It is an incoherent mess and even I have a hard time finding anything in it worth saving.

Passive inconsistently makes his attacks switch between a ranged burst and melee (if I understand correctly) while dealing percent max health true damage to himself for no good reason. Other than that it looks like a mix of Jhin's and Annie's passives except it deals a flat damage boost, knockback, and recoil instead of a crit or a stun, and has the (actually rather interesting) mechanic of empowering other abilities with accumulated charges. To be honest the latter idea is fairly original though it may make him a bit annoying to make the most of depending on the rest of his stats.

Q: Passively grants Garen's passive when not on cooldown and actively gives either an AA reset damage buff or an actually useful AOE slow/stun. Also costs percent max health for some reason.

W: Dash and burn when uncharged, ranged armor debuff when charged. Also costs percent max health. I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

E: Basically Fiora's parry that replaces the damage you would have taken with its percent max health costs and instantly dashes you to your attacker's location (provided they're in range) and/or gives you an MS boost afterward.

Ult: ...OH! I get it; his ult is a passive that casts itself at low health, and upgrading it just lets him buy other passive upgrades based on his other abilities. Not sure whether said upgrades are persistent or only active when the ult procs, because the former category would probably be overpowering.

Conclusion: I take back what I said about that passive charges thing. Everything this guy does costs percent max health, even his AA's, and most of his abilities are decidedly bland or useless without charges/overcharge. In effect, he has little to no burst without shredding his own health bar, and at any given moment he only has one good ability available until he finds the time to get off enough AA's to earn sufficient charges while his opponent whittles away at the very health bar all his abilities, let alone his ability to play, draw from.

This champ is a messy pile of ideas that were good on other champs or would have been good on their own, blindly stapled together in a manner that exhibits no understanding of what was good about any of those ideas, leaving the result an incoherent mess of tangentially-related ideas that together make something that is the inverse of a good idea. Any semblance of potential this idea could have had is instead drowned in a fetid sea of arbitrary complexity and counter-intuitiveness, both in its lore and mechanics. The whole thing looks like it was conceived by a League player's 6-year-old brother based on snippets of information gleaned from his elder sibling's brief exasperated answers to the younger's incessant questions about his hobby, cemented together by a conglomerate of childish ignorance and rampant, untrained imagination. How this idea's author managed to reach Summoner Rank 30 is a mystery of the ages.

Your first commenter suggested abandoning all hope of game design in the future. I'd be slightly less harsh from that. I would recommend scrapping this idea entirely, but I wouldn't say to give up on making your own champs just yet; instead, I will leave a few simple guidelines that may help you produce better concepts in the future:

  1. Try to think of a concept or backstory that fits into established lore without changing or conflicting with it. Have a concept in mind, find where he would best fit in the world of Runeterra, and find something in Valoran for him to live or fight for, but try not to shoehorn him into another champ's lore or backstory for its own sake if you can help it. Your character's lore should be able to stand on its own two feet as much as possible (metaphorically speaking; nothing against champs that lack usable feet or have more than two), and to that end it is important to immerse yourself in as much of LoL's established lore as you can so as to ensure your addition doesn't cross any streams, step on any toes, or force anyone to act out-of-character. The League of Legends Wiki is as good a place to start as any.

  2. Find a gameplay niche that your champion can fill, be it something entirely new or a new spin on an existing one, and design your kit with this role in mind. Granted, lore and character aesthetic is also an important factor when designing abilities, but not moreso than game balance or team synergy. New mechanics are welcome at this stage, provided they make sense from a lore perspective and/or a gameplay perspective, without detracting from one or the other. Brushing up on the abilities of existing champs may help with both finding inspiration, ensuring important parts of your design haven't already been done, and getting a more solid idea of how certain concepts and abilities are balanced and why. Try not to make your abilities too complicated; you should be able to summarize them in a few short sentences with a straight face before getting into the hard numbers. (Note that this step and the first may be interchangeable, as sometimes you can get a gameplay mechanic idea first and then think of lore to justify it just as easily as you can think of a character concept and start thinking of gameplay mechanics to make it a part of the game).

  3. Think long and hard about not only what it would be like to play as your champion, but what it's like to play against your champion. It may sound like a good and fun idea for as long as you're behind the wheel scoring kills and doing your cool stuff, but it might not sound so fun after it winds up on an enemy team and completely ruins your and everyone else's fun with its broken mechanics. League of Legends is a multiplayer game at its core, and as such it is important to understand the concept of gameplay balance. Each team should have an equal chance of winning with a given champion before one takes player skill into account, and no one champion should prove objectively superior to the rest in more than one or two areas.

  4. Not all good feedback is inherently positive. Having a champion's flaws pointed out consistently is not reason for concern, but rather an opportunity to re-evaluate and revise your numbers or whatnot to help your idea appeal to a wider playerbase. Personal attacks on you yourself you can ignore. Broad-strokes critiques that just boil down to "it's bad" or "it's stupid" without saying why aren't that big a deal, though it may still be wise to give your concept a once-over and try to re-think the "why" behind everything if these complaints keep coming regularly. If someone can tell you that they don't like your idea and tell you exactly why that is, thank them and act upon it. Unless their reason is stupid, arbitrary, or nonsensical. Then you don't have to.

CobaltTheMadMage9/20/2016, 12:21:40 AM3 votes

A few more thoughts I just had about his kit:

His AA's should probably just be ranged normally but maybe have a unique animation for melee like some champs already do. Cooldowned AA bursts worked on Kled, but they'd be a bit harder to pull off inconsistently switching between ranged and melee. Unless the idea is that it would work like Jhin's reload except you can still attack at melee while waiting for the burst charges to cool down, but that might just make him more difficult than he needs to be.

Also, 150-range knockback every three AA's seems like a bit much; it might just be easier to have the slight damage boost and maybe a bit of AOE to distinguish from Jhin's crit, but maybe save the knockback bit for an ult rework (see later) but keep the whole charges boosting thing applying to other abilities still.

As for the boosts themselves, I think they should only get a boost from the "overcharge" and ditch the rather underwhelming no-charge versions, just so his usefulness isn't so entirely hinged upon his ability to get off AA's. Something like:

Q: deals damage and slows in a cone normally, overcharge stuns and has either more damage or larger AOE. W: dash and burn when uncharged, overcharge adds armor debuff. E: gives himself a short spell shield when uncharged, also reflects damage from the first hit taken when charged.

And about the ult, the more I think about it, the less an ult that automatically triggers when low on health sounds like a good idea. Early game it could make him OP in trades (particularly one with stats like yours), but come late game at least one champion on the enemy team will likely be able to shred your health bar too fast for a health-dependent ult to do you any good. In keeping with the whole "overheat/supercharge" theme, I'm thinking something more like Swain's ult where you can toggle it on or off and it passively grants its effects while draining mana and/or health. I personally think making every AA act as if overcharged and then letting overcharged AA's deal knockback might be an ok place to start, and consequently all ability castings would behave as if overcharged but cost a bit more mana in exchange. If you want to keep the whole "upgrade per level based on abilities" thing, I'm thinking:

Q: passively grants health regen or reduces health drain while ult is active. W: Increases movement speed while ult is active. E: Grants damage reduction while ult is active.

I could probably figure out some hard numbers later, this was just a few ideas I had that I thought might interest you.

sunhak12349/18/2016, 10:46:01 AM2 votes

Might I suggest going outside, and not seeking a future in game design.