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[Champion Concept] Jaq, the Frost Mage (rough draft)

Freewalker·4/7/2018, 8:11:27 PM·2 votes·724 views

Based on Jack Frost. He's from Freljord if that's what you were wondering. I really don't have a lore part to him, except that he likes to use a staff and use snow magic. He's ranged.

Passive: Frostbite

Whenever Jaq applies a slow effect to an enemy, he deals bonus magic damage.

Bonus Magic Damage: 5 / 10 / 15 / 20 / 25 (+5% AP) Level Scaling: 1 / 4 / 7 / 10 / 13

Q: Snowball

Jaq throws a snowball at a target enemy, dealing magic damage and applying on hit effects.

Ability Type: Single Target Attack Magic Damage: 50 / 100 / 150 / 200 / 250 (+50% AP) Cooldown: 10 / 9 / 8 / 7 / 6 seconds Mana Cost: 50 / 55 / 60 / 65 / 70 Mana Target Range: 750 units Effective Range: 1200 units (projectile homes in on the target until it reaches 1200 units, then disappears)

W: Cool Shield

Passive: Jaq gains bonus Ability Power based on his Magic Resistance.

Active: Jaq shields a target ally for 3 seconds.

Ability Type: Single Target Buff Ability Power: 12 / 24 / 16 / 18 / 20% of Magic Resistance Shield Strength: 50 / 100 / 150 / 200 / 250 (+20% AP) (+40% Bonus Magic Resistance) Cooldown: 12 / 11 / 10 / 9 / 8 seconds Mana Cost: 60 / 65 / 70 / 75 / 80 Mana

E: Snow Squabble

Passive: while this ability is not on cooldown, whenever Jaq hits an enemy with an attack or ability, he applies Squabble for 4 seconds on hit. Squabble reduces an enemy's speed.

Active: Jaq explodes any Squabble applied to enemies, dealing magic damage to nearby enemies and slowing enemy champions for 30 - 90% for 2 seconds (slow grows stronger overtime). An enemy can only be damaged by Squabble once per casting.

Ability Type: Area of Effect Magic Damage: 40 / 80 / 120 / 160 / 200 (+30% AP) Squabble Slow: 5 / 10 / 15 / 20 / 25% Cooldown: 17 / 15 / 13 / 11 / 9 seconds Mana Cost: 100 Mana

R: Blizzard

Jaq creates a blizzard, slowing all enemies by 50% and dealing magic damage each second for 3 seconds.

Ability Type: Global Area of Effect Magic Damage: 50 / 100 / 150 (+15% AP) Cooldown: 130 / 115 / 100 seconds Mana Cost: 100 Mana

2 Comments

Serpexnessie4/7/2018, 9:22:57 PM1 votes

Hey, so I'm gonna leave a quick review for you here: Passive - Useless and takes up a slot. You could easily just stack this damage onto any of his slowing abilities. Q - Very boring. It's a targeted single target attack, with no uses beyond that. W - Also boring. It's a single target shield that does nothing beyond that. This champion doesn't suggest to me as being a tank, so the magic resistance into AP thing doesn't help much. E - Slightly more interesting than the other abilities, but not much skill or decision making is required to use it at all, you just use it when you need a bit more damage. R - Same reasons as above, but with a heftier slow stacked on. In total, your kit's very boring and linear. There isn't any skill expression or decision making to be had in the kit, since all of your abilities are point-and-click. This champion brings absolutely nothing new to the table, that can't already be done by other champions. The ultimate is an exception, however, it's still an effect that cannot be avoided, and takes no skill in using. In short, most of your champion's damage is unavoidable and require no skill to pull off, which leads to very one-dimensional gameplay. if you want to improve your concept, I'd suggest moving away from using only simple, single-target effects. Additionally, "frost mage" isn't a very exciting thematic, since many of those already exist within the game, but with even more than just that. For example, Anivia's also a frost mage, but she's also a phoenix in addition to that.

Othello the Cat4/8/2018, 12:11:25 PM1 votes

Hey! Hopefully you don't mind if I give you a review, because there are a few things that should be said about this:

Passive: The damage on it is incredibly low, and overall doesn't have a lot of impact, especially considering the lack of slows in the kit itself. This either needs to be buffed or reworked entirely.

Q: This is just a magic damage version of a Gangplank Parrrley minus the bonus gold and the fact that it eventually just disappears at a certain range. There's not a lot here that makes this interesting.

W: This ability could be interesting on a tank, but considering the rest of the kit is more suited towards a Mage, it doesn't really feel like it has a place in this kit. It doesn't work too well with the rest of the kit either, especially considering that it doesn't have a slow and doesn't deal damage so it can't even apply Rylai's slow.

E: It's got some similar aspects to other champion abilities, such as Twitch's Contaminate and Nasus's Wither, but it's got enough about it to make it stand out on its own. It doesn't feel like a core ability, but the game of racking up Squabble on as many enemies as possible before Eing is at least something interesting to consider.

Ult: No channel, applies CC, global, and damage. Even if it's damage over time with an incredible low scaling (45% after the full duration), it's just free, unblock able damage. There's no counterplay, no fun for the user or the enemies, it's just a thing that happens. This needs to have more ability to counter in it.

Background: The idea of a frost mage has been done with Lissandra, the Ice Witch. In addition, I feel like "Jaq the Frost Mage" is a bit on the nose, considering it literally is a reference to Jack Frost. Adding a more unique backstory to it behind "Freljord Ice Magic User" would be incredibly useful for this concept.

Overall: The main thing that you need to add is fun. There's not a lot of combo potential, there's not a lot that can be outplayed by the enemy, there's just not a lot here. If you can find a way to get some abilities to work around the E better, then you might have a kit, but for now it's just a bit of a disappointment.

Hopefully this helps! I hope I wasn't too harsh, I really want people to succeed in their concepts.