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Jasmine, the Arctic Shard

The Dreamwalker··26 votes·2,148 views

Hello everyone! Thanks for view my end of month concept! Nothing really else, let's get down to it. I present: Jasmine, the Arctic Shard.

Homeland: Frejlord

Friends: Ashe, Braum

Enemies: Sejuani, Udyr

Class: Mage

Secondary: Fighter

Lane: MID, possible TOP

Basic Attack: Melee

Powers

Passive: Arctic Shard

Jasmine's basic attacks and abilities weaken her enemies' defenses. Every basic lowers her enemies' primary defense. If they have more armor, she lowers it by 5% for every ability, and 2.5% for every basic attack. This stacks and last 3 seconds. They don't fall off if she switches targets.

Q: Icicle Burst

Range: 975

Mana: 55/65/75/85/95

Jasmine thrust her blade into the ground, after a brief 1-second delay, a large icicle bursts out of the targeted location dealing AoE to all people in the area. She deals 55/95/135/175/215 (+ 0% AD and 55% AP) magical damage.

Cool down: 7/6.5/6/5.5/5

** Note: The effect of this ability is 100 units wider than Lux's E.**

W: Winter's Cloak

Range: Self Buff

Mana: 90 (all levels)

Jasmine cloaks herself in the icy winds of winter (not a stealth ability). This absorbs all damage from a single power and then stuns the attacker for 1/1.25/1.5/1.75/2 seconds.

Note: Someone can only be stunned once per use of the ability. Afterward, they are marked with Warmth. A buff negating Jasmine's stun.

Cool down: 12/11/10/9/8 seconds

Update: Jasmine's W takes 1 second to prime. This has a bright white effect to alert enemies of her power. The shield lasts 3 seconds.

E: Frozen Charge

Range: 650

Mana: 35/50/65/80/95

Jasmine lunges forwards to strike an enemy, upon doing so Jasmine marks them with Frostfoot. Frostfoot slows the holder by 30/35/40/45/50% and they leave behind a trail of frost that slows units by half of the current value of Frostfoot. Jasmine deals 45/65/85/105 (+ 0 AD and 65% AP) magical damage.

Cool down: 12/11/10/9/8 seconds

**Update: This ability has been re-done. **

R: Winds of the Frejlord

Range: 950

Mana: 100

Jasmine unleashes an explosion of wind, snow, and ice in a circle around her. Enemies hit by this blast are dealt 200/300/400 (+ 0% AD and 75% AP) magical damage and stunned for 1.5 seconds.

Concept Art

(Note: This is not my work. I am just using it for an idea of what Jasmine looks like. All rights belong to Beever CTZ.)

http://imgur.com/83rX5Dv

**Stats: **

**Health: 600 (+ 85 per level) **

**Health Regen: 6.82 (+ 0.5 per level) **

**Attack Damage: 56 (+ 2.5 per level) **

**Attack Speed: 0.625 (1.49% per level) **

**Movement Speed: 335 **

**Armor: 28 (+ 3 per level) **

**Magic Resist: 30 (+ 0 per level) **

Love is a curious little thing. To some, it makes their lives something worth living. To others, it makes them blind, weak. That is how young Jasmine began her life. She grew up alongside Sejuani. When Sejuani ascended into power, there were none more excited than Jasmine herself.

Jasmine saw Sejuani as the Winter's Claw's beacon in the dark. When all things seemed hopeless, somehow Sejuani came through for her tribe. She always looked out for her people in her way. While some may have seen Sejuani as a cruel unforgiving mistress, Jasmine viewed her as someone who was making the hard decisions no one else wanted to make.

Sejuani wanted to unite the clans of the Frejlord. Jasmine admired that goal, and she wanted to be a part of that. She wanted to help make history. In a mixture of naivety and ignorance, Jasmine pledged herself to Sejuani.

Jasmine spent years in Sejuani's company. She traveled all over the land, serving Sejuani as faithfully as she could muster. She killed without mercy. If Sejuani said kill, Jasmine obeyed. After only a matter of minutes, the white snow beneath her feet was an eery and dark red.

Jasmine continued on like this for a time. She believed what she was doing was right. She knew deep in her blood that a few years of war would help create an everlasting peace. Or that is what she was taught. It wasn't until the arrival of a certain archer and her clan that she questioned everything she believed.

Jasmine, like many of the Winter's Claw, suffered from hunger pangs but somehow managed to survive. When Ashe with her gift of food, Jasmine didn't know what to think. She felt her stomach rumble as the grain grew close. Her and her fellow tribesman would have enough food to save more many lives than in previous years, and that thought filled her with a warm, tingling sensation.

But, when Sejuani ordered the grain destroyed, something inside Jasmine snapped. Jasmine not only ignored an order, but she felt it was wrong, that Sejuani was wrong. Jasmine watched, horrified, at what Sejuani had done. Try as she might, Jasmine couldn't bury the nagging feeling of that day.

After another year in Sejuani's company, Jasmine finally broke. Jasmine wanted peace in the Freljord, but she knew that Sejuani would bring anything but peace. One night, Jasmine ran from the walls of her tribe. She held nothing more than her blade and the clothes on her back.

The wind bit deep into her skin as she trekked across the frozen land of the Freljord, but it barely phased her. She was trained and bred for this sort of harassment by the elements. She would not be deterred from finding the Clan of Avorosa.

At the end of Jasmine's first week of her hike across the Freljord, she finally came across the tribe. A smile played at her lips. She had found them. Jasmine took a moment to drink it all in before making her way towards the tribe, towards a new life. Ashe stood, kind and studious, as she dished out orders and exchanged kind smiles with her fellow tribesmen.

Jasmine gave herself to the clan, pledging herself the way of Avorosa. Jasmine would turn her blade towards those who threatened the Freljord's only chance at peace. People Jasmine once stood proud to represent, but now she wanted nothing more than to see them pay for the lives they had taken.

(I am not the best lore writer. Things may be out of order, spelling errors, etc. If you find something like that, I would happily fix it. If you think something sounds weird, I would be happy to reply and maybe make some changes. I believe I may or may not have spelled that Goddess' name right.)

39 Comments

FloRaider4212 votes

Can't believe I actually found this before a day passed :P Without further ado let's get to the review:

Lore: Where are the Shards at?

P: Reminds me of a Offensive Camille passive, but it's definetly new and interesting. I personally don't think it's thematic, but that could be just me. I don't think you need to specify that the debuff doesn't decay when switching targets, since that is how it usually works. Anivia E sounds really similiar btw

Q: Seems out of place with her Tank centric kit (CC focus) as it lacks synergy with the other abilities. The delay seems a bit long, but it's hard to judge without a size given.

W: Again mentioning something that wouldn't cross your mind when normally reviewing the ability :P You don't need a buff to prevent them from being affected again, as long as you mention it. I am not a fan of the stun, since it punishes your enemy for attacking you without much warning (Fiora for example has a special condition and a delay) as you can theoretically activate this while the enemies attack is travelling (think sorakas homing bananas) making them unable to react. Another problem is that a shield should give surviveability, but with this effect enemies will just wait out the shield to attack again making it feel a bit misguided (for example if you can't run you want to destroy Sions shield and deny his extra damage).

E: Considering it is an engage ability you usually won't have enemies behind you walking on the trail, which makes the slow seem weak. Does it deal damage or target friendly units ? The slow trail is interesting, but it should be the focus of the ability and not cheap mobility for R.

R: Reminds me a lot of Curse of the Sad Mummy (Amumu R), since it is an instant AOE with bigger range and more damage, but less scaling (weird on a primary Mage).

Overall: She currently lacks a unique playstyle, since her more unique aspects are either unfair (W) or undertuned (E) and the rest seem bland (apart from passive). She seems a lot like a Tank with lots of CC and a shield and not that much of a Mage or Fighter kitwise. Thematically we already have a lot of Ice champions so it's difficult to make her stand out on her own, but I think you can accomplish that. [slayer-pantheon-thumbs]

Edit: Congrats on the upvotes

LeifTheExplorer6 votes

I think you hit the nail on the head. Right now she kinda feels like an ice Riven to me. Your critiques are really well thought out. Perhaps you could check out my champion concept? Esben, The Leveler

The Dreamwalker1 votes

{quoted}

I think you hit the nail on the head. Right now she kinda feels like an ice Riven to me. Your critiques are really well thought out. Perhaps you could check out my champion concept? Esben, The Leveler

Hi, sorry, not meaning to intrude. But, is this comment meant for me? If so, I can see what you are getting at.

The Dreamwalker2 votes

{quoted}

I had to wait a long time before replying to this. Let's get down to it. :D

Lore: Where are the Shards at?

That would be her blade. The epithet is a mixture of her weapon and heritage.

P: Reminds me of a Offensive Camille passive, but it's definetly new and interesting.

That's good at least.

I personally don't think it's thematic, but that could be just me.

Well, I won't argue an opinion. That'd just be rude.

I don't think you need to specify that the debuff doesn't decay when switching targets, since that is how it usually works.

Well, sometimes people wouldn't know. I clearly didn't.

Anivia E sounds really similiar btw

Hmm, just looked her up, I don't really see a connection.

Q: Seems out of place with her Tank centric kit (CC focus) as it lacks synergy with the other abilities. The delay seems a bit long, but it's hard to judge without a size given.

Tank? Dear lord, I really messed up her kit then. Oh, the size is pretty big. It about... huh... I don't know any good examples. But, it is big but not too big. Sorry!

W: Again mentioning something that wouldn't cross your mind when normally reviewing the ability :P

You'd be surprised.

You don't need a buff to prevent them from being affected again, as long as you mention it.

I know. I think it would be cool though.

I am not a fan of the stun, since it punishes your enemy for attacking you without much warning (Fiora for example has a special condition and a delay) as you can theoretically activate this while the enemies attack is travelling (think sorakas homing bananas) making them unable to react. Another problem is that a shield should give surviveability, but with this effect enemies will just wait out the shield to attack again making it feel a bit misguided (for example if you can't run you want to destroy Sions shield and deny his extra damage).

Well, people would have to fight her like Sivir. Mainly the shield part.

E: Considering it is an engage ability you usually won't have enemies behind you walking on the trail, which makes the slow seem weak. Does it deal damage or target friendly units ? The slow trail is interesting, but it should be the focus of the ability and not cheap mobility for R.

Hmm, I won't give up that ability. Although, it does provide some things I would like to show you. Say she in mid lane, she goes in, but wants to go back. With minions blocking the way and then this added slow, it would make her laning phase a little stronger. It would also help her dodge a gank. I noticed I forgot the damage. Ugh, whoops!

R: Reminds me a lot of Curse of the Sad Mummy (Amumu R), since it is an instant AOE with bigger range and more damage, but less scaling (weird on a primary Mage).

I see. Here is my thinking. If Jasmine is pursuing a target, she can dash in with her E. If that doesn't kill them and she cannot get W to proc, then she can freeze them. It also provides her with some safety and escape. Just simple things like that.

Overall: She currently lacks a unique playstyle, since her more unique aspects are either unfair (W) or undertuned (E) and the rest seem bland (apart from passive).

What is undertuned? I cannot find a definition anywhere. The W is a quick fix. I can add something that clearly shows that she is activating her W. Maybe make a growing white cloud that grows over a 1-second duration. So, she isn't a wombo combo character. Each ability offers different things.

Q - If pushed back, feel free to poke from afar and farm.

W - Able to set up bigger things.

E - Able to set up her ult, get into a fray, etc.

R - Able to provide an escape, stop a baron steal / kill, main thing is the stopping part. She can also set up her team's ults. Like Ori's, Lux's, Miss Fortune's. That's my thinking anyways.

She seems a lot like a Tank with lots of CC and a shield and not that much of a Mage or Fighter kitwise. Thematically we already have a lot of Ice champions so it's difficult to make her stand out on her own, but I think you can accomplish that.

Thanks man! I gave you an upvote for the very kind words!

[slayer-pantheon-thumbs]

Edit: Congrats on the upvotes

Thanks man, and ditto (that means right back at ya {my intrepretation}).

Fondling Gems2 votes

BTW Anivia E is called frostbite, that is why they said that the ability sounds similar.

The Dreamwalker2 votes

[{quoted}](name=Fondling Gems,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=EKkQpQh8,comment-id=000200010000,timestamp=2017-03-31T01:41:08.654+0000)

BTW Anivia E is called frostbite, that is why they said that the ability sounds similar.

Oh thank you! I was confused. That is what happens when you are tired I suppose.

FloRaider421 votes

Frostbite and Frostbite do sound somewhat similiar IMHO ;P

Since it takes up space in the toolbar and clogs the buff bar I am not a fan of it, but each their own.

That comparison only works if her Shield has a very short duration, which kinda makes the shield value meaningless.

Problem with E is that unless you combo R it's really only usefull as a defensive tool, since the trail will always be behind you. Having the trail continue forward or increase in range somehow would help a lot there.

Sry but I really dislike your reasoning for R, for Amumu it's his signature skill with most of his kit synergyzing and working well together with it, you seem to have added it for the safety, escape and damage.

With undertuned I mean that it isn't as good as it could be. The slow from E only works defensively, but being rather unique it should play a much more prominent role.

The delay would help with W yes.

My problem with your reasoning is that is purely from a gameplay perspective (R for safety, E for Mobility, Q for Range, W for CC) and doesn't really work towards a theme or gameplay fantasy like other champions.

The Dreamwalker1 votes

{quoted}

Frostbite and Frostbite do sound somewhat similiar IMHO ;P

Yea, someone pointed out what you meant.

Since it takes up space in the toolbar and clogs the buff bar I am not a fan of it, but each their own.

That comparison only works if her Shield has a very short duration, which kinda makes the shield value meaningless.

Hmm, I see.

Problem with E is that unless you combo R it's really only usefull as a defensive tool, since the trail will always be behind you. Having the trail continue forward or increase in range somehow would help a lot there.

Well, okay. I can see what I can do. Not really a defensive power.

Sry but I really dislike your reasoning for R, for Amumu it's his signature skill with most of his kit synergyzing and working well together with it, you seem to have added it for the safety, escape and damage.

I didn't just add it for those reasons. Those are examples of what the power can do. I added it because 1) I like the power and 2) I feel it fits the character. Well, if you think about it. Amumu just Q's and then ults. This ability is flexible like a lot of powers.

With undertuned I mean that it isn't as good as it could be. The slow from E only works defensively, but being rather unique it should play a much more prominent role.

Hmm, good point. I am working making it better.

The delay would help with W yes.

Very well, working on it.

My problem with your reasoning is that is purely from a gameplay perspective (R for safety, E for Mobility, Q for Range, W for CC) and doesn't really work towards a theme or gameplay fantasy like other champions.

R - to set up more things just being able to safe.

E - in order to set things up, dive her opponents, gap closer, etc

W - safety + being to land abilities or set up Q + E

Q - is ranged but is also able to help Jasmine in those sticky situations. It can also be used for other things. Such as finishing off fleeing targets.

I mean, it is kind of like this. If Jasmine is able to block say Zed's Q, Zed becomes stunned (if she has her W), that allows her to go in with her E. Or she could just poke with Q. I am adding a few things to make that transition smoother.

FloRaider421 votes

Well in it's current form E definetly feels more defensive, since offensively the trail doesn't have much impact. If you think that way then Jasmine also only Es and then ults.

I could be wrong, but that still sounds like gameplay reasonsing... It's not about if she can combo her abilities, but how they fit together thematically and in terms of power fantasy.

The Dreamwalker1 votes

{quoted}

Well in it's current form E definetly feels more defensive, since offensively the trail doesn't have much impact. If you think that way then Jasmine also only Es and then ults.

I fixed her E. Also, I don't know what more there is to say about my idea. I see how she works. I see that she is thematic. I mean, she is a winter warrior with the ability to summon the freezing world of the Freljord at a moment's notice. She is able to summon freezing icicles to stab her opponents. She can harness the wind to freeze her attackers. She can dive in with a freezing charge and slow people. Then, her ult brings that all into freeze people into little ice statues like a frozen lake in the Freljord. That is all I have to say about the idea. If you don't like it, fine there isn't really anything else I can say or do. If you do like it, then yay. But, I am happy with the content of this character.

I don't want any of that to sound rude. If it did, I am truly sorry.

I could be wrong, but that still sounds like gameplay reasoning... It's not about if she can combo her abilities, but how they fit together thematically and in terms of power fantasy.

I know all of that. I keep trying to explain that she has those things. Also, that little bit I included above it.

FloRaider421 votes

I don't want any of that to sound rude. If it did, I am truly sorry.

No don't worry you aren't sounding rude and it's definetly justified.

I think I have been wording this wrongly as my concern is that although she is a winter warrior she doesn't have that much to differntiate her from other Freljordian champions, who also have ice based powers. Sure she summons icicles, but Lissandra also uses Ice shards and constructs and Trundle summons Ice Pillars, and she harnesses the icy winds, like Anivia, but her abilities seem to utilize a lot of different powers, whereas most Freljord champions are quite limited in what they can do (Liss only maniplulates dark ice, Trundle primarily manipluates the ground, Ashe can only summons Ice arrows etc.) and also have another part to their identity. Therefore they don't step into each others domain.

I personally think she does lack a niche to occupy thematically as well as gameplaywise, but I don't know how other feel about her. If you are happy with her design that's great and I am happy to hear that, it's just that I think she has some more potential.

Rhai3 votes

The Design of that W really irks me, either the stun duration or shield duration would need to be cut down quite hard, as it would otherwise be like an uncounterable Fiora Parry. The rest of the ability design seems fine though.

SickAnto2 votes

I want the Lore :(

BowieTheNifty2 votes

I want to see these two fight.

Kulden, The Frostbitten Blade

The Dreamwalker1 votes

{quoted}

I want to see these two fight.

Kulden, The Frostbitten Blade

Oh hey, Bowie (can I call you Bowie?). That would be a pretty epic battle. xD I really liked viewing your idea!

BowieTheNifty1 votes

Yeah Bowie is what I am known as. Though I don't sing as well as the original xD. Thanks honestly. I wish that some certain of my concepts would get more feedback. Still yeah it would be a pretty awesome fight.

zrWQMdGHtY2 votes

Post a picture of a girl with a nice cleavage gets tons of comments and upvotes. I posted without any pictures and I get a random downvote and no comments. Double standards are real.

Khadaver2 votes

Maybe people just didn't like your concept. It has a passive that could never work in game(especially as an assassin) and an incoherent kit.

zrWQMdGHtY1 votes

Oh really. Then where is the explanation instead of the random downvote? Or is this how low we fallen. Just downvote for the lulz

Khadaver3 votes

Just gave one, if you want more then here:

Don't make the passive so linked to particular champs, Make the kit more coherent (abilities work together) and give the champ something special rather than just some dmg and a mobility spell.

zrWQMdGHtY1 votes

I got a better idea. Comment on the thread itself and read the lore, before annoying me. Cheers <3 Plus the passive and ult are pretty much special, so okay.

Khadaver2 votes

k...

zrWQMdGHtY1 votes

And I actually spent months (almost 9) of my life writing fanfiction on these boards, for people like you to enjoy. Darn I really am stupid...

Khadaver3 votes

Keep doing what you like, not all people will always enjoy it

zrWQMdGHtY1 votes

Sound pretty hypocritical from a person who was literally downvoting me until now...

Khadaver3 votes

Nah, i said not all people will always enjoy it. I'm one of those people atm tbh

zrWQMdGHtY1 votes

And im sure you spent time to read at least 5 out of the 33 chapters to be able to judge that...

The Dreamwalker1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Kitty Katarina,realm=EUW,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=EKkQpQh8,comment-id=0004,timestamp=2017-03-30T21:29:49.366+0000)

Post a picture of a girl with a nice cleavage gets tons of comments and upvotes. I posted without any pictures and I get a random downvote and no comments. Double standards are real.

I added the picture later into my concept's creation. I already had 5-ish upvotes by then. Also, I have male concept that got the same amount of upvotes.

zrWQMdGHtY2 votes

Double standards towards my name then ^^

Now the hate army just went to downvote to annoy me even more. Yay

An Undead brat2 votes

Honestly I absolutely don't get the champion concepts upvote rules... Nothing against you or something but why are hardly unique stuff upvoted but unique playstyles downvoted hard/ignored?

I mean, I might sound like I'm hating but I really can't see anything this kit would bring to the table. Tbh I'm too lazy to read the lore and it might be it... Or is it art? Everytime there is a borrowed art of someone else, upvoted it reaches the main page, pretty triggers me when I waste three days worth of my free time to paint a splash art for my champion concept with my mouse, it actually looks pretty good, but noone gives a shit...

I'm sorry I needed to let this out.

FloRaider421 votes

Nobody really understands how it works. Getting hot early helps a lot and once you have upvotes it's easier to gain more (more people will get interested etc.) Unfortunatly unique ideas have the problem of often being overcomplicated and turning of people, by having content that they dislike or don't want in the game, whereas less unique ideas don't have that problem since the abilities are already in game and not that scary and hard to think about. Art definetly helps the post to stick out since it gives a nice bit of color on the main page.

We definetly need another Review Trade Center :I

The Dreamwalker1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Sexy Bisex Plant,realm=EUNE,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=EKkQpQh8,comment-id=0007,timestamp=2017-03-31T20:36:00.992+0000)

Honestly I absolutely don't get the champion concepts upvote rules... Nothing against you or something but why are hardly unique stuff upvoted but unique playstyles downvoted hard/ignored?

I mean, I might sound like I'm hating but I really can't see anything this kit would bring to the table. Tbh I'm too lazy to read the lore and it might be it... Or is it art? Everytime there is a borrowed art of someone else, upvoted it reaches the main page, pretty triggers me when I waste three days worth of my free time to paint a splash art for my champion concept with my mouse, it actually looks pretty good, but noone gives a shit...

I'm sorry I needed to let this out.

You're fine. No, not the art. I added that later into the concept's creation. I doubt it's the lore too. I added that later as well. Also, just from my experience with making ideas, people tend to upvote things that similar to things they love but aren't directly copied. I also find that people tend to downvote things that are extremely unique or new. Jasmine is a mixture of things I love with a twist. Unless, that something is something that people have been wanting. Like a support who focuses on debuffing rather than buffing.

p.s. everyone is entitled to their opinions about this idea. Where people don't see potential, I do. Also, funny thing, the ones I do for "fun" seem to be liked more. My ones that I am serious about tend to be downvoted. :/

THE RlVER KlNG1 votes

?

FloRaider422 votes
  1. Post at a good time
  2. Use artwork
  3. Don't overload the post
  4. ???
  5. Tons of Upvotes
LeifTheExplorer1 votes

I should probably do this. But I like being specific and including a discussion in my post. Fugg

Skylarke5 votes

You really can't be happy for people other than you getting upvotes, can you?

midnight oil244 votes

Oh, so true.

rtbf2256182411 votes

Holy crap, is she Irelia's mom? Hot damn!

The Dreamwalker1 votes

{quoted}

Holy crap, is she Irelia's mom? Hot damn!

I believe you mean cold damn. Pun intended.

[slayer-jinx-wink]

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