How do I stop being so passive-aggressive?

Clementine·6/8/2017, 12:23:52 AM·1 votes·981 views

I've been pretty passive-aggressive in some of my games recently, and I got a 10 game chat restriction for it. Not a big deal, but only backing on my chatlogs I realize how annoying I am sometimes. I don't think I'm ever "toxic", just passive-aggressive (mostly talking down to the silvers in my game), but I was hoping to get some peoples' opinions on them.

Game 1 Celestine Soraka: lol Celestine Soraka: you're lux Celestine Soraka: and catch-up xp Celestine Soraka: so it doesn't matter Celestine Soraka: really? Celestine Soraka: you're solo bot Celestine Soraka: best of luck Celestine Soraka: i did more in lane than you Celestine Soraka: and you lost it for nothing Celestine Soraka: lol Celestine Soraka: not exactly Celestine Soraka: silver cait Celestine Soraka: pls Celestine Soraka: yea Celestine Soraka: that's too bad Celestine Soraka: should've healed that Celestine Soraka: and i'm not autofilled lol Celestine Soraka: toxic? Celestine Soraka: zac who got autofilled Celestine Soraka: hey zac Celestine Soraka: >? Celestine Soraka: who got autofilled Celestine Soraka: yea Celestine Soraka: who got autofilled Celestine Soraka: little confused Celestine Soraka: and it's flex zed Celestine Soraka: lol Celestine Soraka: stay silver tho Celestine Soraka: sure you are Celestine Soraka: lol Celestine Soraka: that's what they all say Celestine Soraka: because i play ap trist support Celestine Soraka: and karthus support Celestine Soraka: lol Celestine Soraka: yea Celestine Soraka: just play off meta Celestine Soraka: and keep you silvers here Celestine Soraka: nope Celestine Soraka: unusual playstyles Celestine Soraka: clearly do Celestine Soraka: "wahh you're plat wish i was plat >:CCCCC" Celestine Soraka: didn Celestine Soraka: 't miss it Celestine Soraka: just didn't heal Celestine Soraka: X d Celestine Soraka: ? Celestine Soraka: they're leaving you behind? Celestine Soraka: :c Celestine Soraka: scammed Celestine Soraka: yea Celestine Soraka: that's ,e Celestine Soraka: nationalist Celestine Soraka: you want to buy my account? Celestine Soraka: that's not allowed Celestine Soraka: sorry Celestine Soraka: how lol Celestine Soraka: look where Celestine Soraka: me neither Celestine Soraka: "as your either game" Celestine Soraka: ? Celestine Soraka: could i get that in english please Celestine Soraka: either game Celestine Soraka: what either game Celestine Soraka: what other game are you talking about Celestine Soraka: hello Celestine Soraka: sorry about your toxic team lux Celestine Soraka: i have one too Celestine Soraka: they're mean :c Celestine Soraka: no Celestine Soraka: team was toxic to me in champ select Celestine Soraka: before i even said anything Celestine Soraka: no they flamed me Celestine Soraka: didn't ask anything Celestine Soraka: i have it screenshotted Celestine Soraka: to send into riot support Celestine Soraka: ye Celestine Soraka: just gotta send it into riot support Celestine Soraka: lool Celestine Soraka: sorry my blue spruce dude Celestine Soraka: no coconuts allowed Celestine Soraka: which one Celestine Soraka: coconut karthis Celestine Soraka: karthith Celestine Soraka: ok i won't Celestine Soraka: tm Celestine Soraka: yeah man! Celestine Soraka: no problem¬ Celestine Soraka: stay groovy Celestine Soraka: report Celestine Soraka: i'm down Celestine Soraka: going to baron Celestine Soraka: wow Celestine Soraka: as trustworthy as germany in 1941 Celestine Soraka: "non-aggresson pact" Celestine Soraka: Who Celestine Soraka: 9 more days until what Celestine Soraka: how long it been banned for? Game 2 Celestine Soraka: shoukd;ve started your w tf Celestine Soraka: nah Celestine Soraka: you average 7 deaths a game on hin lol Celestine Soraka: and you're g5 Celestine Soraka: not having that on my team Celestine Soraka: no Celestine Soraka: 6 kills Celestine Soraka: please do Celestine Soraka: lul zac didn't buy items Celestine Soraka: lol Celestine Soraka: na flash Celestine Soraka: silver 4 Celestine Soraka: ??? Celestine Soraka: let me go 0/3 Celestine Soraka: silver players lol Celestine Soraka: you're silver Celestine Soraka: lul Celestine Soraka: silver 3 23lp Celestine Soraka: looking right at it Celestine Soraka: if you're not a coach, analyst, or pro player you can't criticize my gameplay Celestine Soraka: silver Celestine Soraka: no opinion Celestine Soraka: get silver Celestine Soraka: oh wait Celestine Soraka: already there Celestine Soraka: and you're silver Celestine Soraka: point being Celestine Soraka: yea it was Celestine Soraka: silver Celestine Soraka: enough said Celestine Soraka: xd Celestine Soraka: you're silver too Celestine Soraka: bet Celestine Soraka: you're silver Celestine Soraka: no opiniions Celestine Soraka: sure zac Celestine Soraka: you're still silver Celestine Soraka: still silver Celestine Soraka: doesn't matter Celestine Soraka: ailver Celestine Soraka: it's flex Celestine Soraka: lol Celestine Soraka: you're silver Celestine Soraka: i'm plat Celestine Soraka: i'm better Celestine Soraka: end of story Celestine Soraka: hehe xd Celestine Soraka: ^ Celestine Soraka: zed is mad about his elo Celestine Soraka: he mains yas and has more deaths than kills on average Celestine Soraka: tf and zed are duo Celestine Soraka: btw Celestine Soraka: they're tilted together Celestine Soraka: no Celestine Soraka: all silver Celestine Soraka: >flex Celestine Soraka: plat btw Celestine Soraka: and silver btw Celestine Soraka: counts as much as your loss as it does mine Celestine Soraka: silver btw Celestine Soraka: toxic duo buddies btw Celestine Soraka: ^ Celestine Soraka: thanks for the understanding Celestine Soraka: zed is a toxic yasuo main who averages 7 deaths a game on yasuo :( Celestine Soraka: they're just jealous Celestine Soraka: Xd Celestine Soraka: bnecause you're no good at yas Celestine Soraka: Lol Celestine Soraka: silver Celestine Soraka: xd Game 3 Celestine Soraka: let me gold share please mf Celestine Soraka: not letting me gold share Celestine Soraka: lol Celestine Soraka: any procs Celestine Soraka: you purposefully auto them so i can't proc Celestine Soraka: no Celestine Soraka: pretty sure i got 1 Celestine Soraka: and that's because you tried to take it too late Celestine Soraka: sure Celestine Soraka: idcv Celestine Soraka: can't sit in bot and have 0 gold income Celestine Soraka: because mf doesn't want to let me proc Celestine Soraka: no Celestine Soraka: cool Celestine Soraka: thanks Celestine Soraka: how am i Celestine Soraka: coin is awful Celestine Soraka: and can't be aggressive enough against karma w/ ignite for spellthiefs Celestine Soraka: you know nothing Celestine Soraka: shh Celestine Soraka: half of high elo soraka players do Celestine Soraka: only way to play her right and still build sightstone Celestine Soraka: i'm not building sightstone if i get spellthiefs Celestine Soraka: idc Celestine Soraka: cool Celestine Soraka: nah Celestine Soraka: sorry w key broken Celestine Soraka: me neither Celestine Soraka: if i had gold Celestine Soraka: didn't know dr. phil mained cait Celestine Soraka: no point in arguiing lol Celestine Soraka: you loss as much as mine Celestine Soraka: babyrage lee sin main Celestine Soraka: after his main got nerfed Celestine Soraka: don't have a dick at all lol Celestine Soraka: too bad Celestine Soraka: twice Celestine Soraka: cait would've let me proc my stacks lul Celestine Soraka: yea please do Celestine Soraka: gg

22 Comments

Cocho6/8/2017, 12:27:40 AM12 votes

stop typing

NinjaGuy696/8/2017, 12:53:52 AM3 votes

One good trick that I use that has helped me is to focus on things that I could be doing later in the game to improve my team's shot at winning instead of focusing on the current happenings. For example, while you're in lane, you can plan ahead by thinking to yourself:

  1. Which bushes would be the best to ward to avoid a jungler gank (bonus: how can I maximize the value of my pink wards)?
  2. Can I roam mid to gank for my teammate once the enemy bot lane backs?
  3. What time would be the best time to get deep vision in the enemy jungle?
  4. Which item builds would be the most effective at countering the enemy team?
  5. What's the best way to position in order to play this matchup?

If you focus on the things you can control and plan ahead for, it makes it a lot easier to forget about all of the mistakes your teammates could be making. Another tip is to click on the chat at the beginning of each game and drag it off your screen so you aren't as tempted to use it to type; you can just communicate using smart pings.

You're not the only one babe (trust me - I've been chat banned 3 times in the past). It gets a lot easier over time if you keep working on it.

hater free zone6/8/2017, 12:37:17 AM2 votes

/muteall

Shirvallah6/8/2017, 1:12:30 AM2 votes

Alright, this might seem like some weird advice, but just know I used to be exactly like you...

  1. Don't type so much and just focus on the game and how YOU PERSONALLY can be helping get your team ahead.

  2. Don't care so much. Yes. Seriously. I'm not kidding. I used to give a shit about every damn thing, and I'd try so hard to prove a point. But sometimes, you just gotta step back and ask yourself, "Is this actually worth my time?" Things ended up being better in the long run for me.

  3. Now this might seem like the opposite of number 2, but... Care enough. Care ENOUGH to the point where you DO give a shit about the important things, but for the love of everything good, do NOT be patronizing while doing so if communicating with people.

Pierce The Veal6/8/2017, 1:34:32 AM1 votes

Looks a lot more aggressive than "passive aggressive." The only way you're passive is you're not outright cussing them out.

Duchess Katarina6/8/2017, 2:02:08 AM1 votes

The things you say don't make people play any better.

  1. Instead of focusing on what people are doing wrong, give them actual helpful suggestions to improve their play. Example "try building this instead" or "hug turret and I'll try to gank for you", etc.

  2. Don't bring up people's ranks, it doesn't help anyone. They know they're silver, you don't need to tell them ever 2 minutes.

  3. Just because that Zed averages 7 deaths a game doesn't mean it will happen this game. Every game is a new and different game. It's like saying "Oh I went 15/2" last game, doesn't mean it will happen again this game.

TimX24968B6/8/2017, 5:01:04 AM1 votes

easiest way to do this: unbind the chat key (for me its enter, idk what it normally is), but disable that key.

Has No Team6/8/2017, 10:18:50 AM1 votes

Honestly you need to worry more about your own game than theirs and also stop commenting on it.

Shadòw6/8/2017, 12:42:14 AM1 votes

you talk waaay too much

Ah O Yeah Harder6/8/2017, 1:06:20 AM1 votes

You cant unless you tell yourself mentally not to. Muting all doesnt work because you will just unmute them to flame.

Automated Riven6/8/2017, 1:07:24 AM1 votes

Someone posted something similar but I just want to add a few things. You talk way to much in your game. The amount of time you were typing was probably 5 minutes of your game. That adds up. What would really help you improve is to only type about things game related. And use the pings. Talking about who is a better player doesn't help you win the game. Shotcalling and focusing on winning the game will. I also find it helps the overall attitude of the game if you drop little things like. GJ and Nice. In chat when your allies get a kill. Really short but helps them and you have a better experience.