To Those Who Flame and Defend Themselves

Woodakoodashooda·May 23, 2018·29 votes·12,277 views

By saying, 'it's just words, stop being so sensitive'.

Flaming people is nothing short of an attempt to antagonize them into feeling angry, sad, and victimized. It is an attack designed specifically to make oneself feel big by belittling others. And those who flame derive satisfaction from receiving negative reactions from the people they attack because it serves as confirmation that their attacks succeeded in inflicting harm.

But the moment that flaming results in a punishment, the offender will often justify their behavior and defend themselves by stating that they aren't the problem. They were just using words. And that everyone else is at fault for being too sensitive.

This is absolute hypocrisy.

Flamers habitually prey on the emotionally fragile for personal satisfaction. And those who are punished for it received exactly what they wanted in the first place.

A reaction.

59 Comments

KVbqbFsC8eMay 23, 20188 votes

Or have you ever thought that maybe people just get frustrated?

VaVoemMay 23, 20184 votes

so they cant deal with a situation? maybe they need to learn that first?

"How to deal with negative external factors"

SalsonMay 23, 20187 votes

I might be missing something, but last time I checked, men who can't control themselves were labeled immature brats.

And as brats, they need a spanking in the form of restrictions/ban.

KarunamonMay 23, 20183 votes

You're not wrong, but consider that this is a T-rated game and I'd imagine much of the player base aren't legal adults.

SalsonMay 23, 20182 votes

Well yeah, it's why I'm not really bothered by toxicity itself and don't mute people.

Someone acts like a brat, gets slapped/reported and hopefully learns his lesson. Kinda all you can do really, though I'm too young to have kids and thus lack understanding of how to correctly handle them.

IcyPepperMay 23, 20181 votes

And thus having real consequences to their actions will teach them a valuable lesson early on in their lives.

KVbqbFsC8eMay 23, 20181 votes

I think that can go both ways. If you get so upset over a random stranger on the Internet calling you "bad" in an online game, you are going to have a very tough time in the real World.

IcyPepperMay 23, 20181 votes

I mean, if you're flaming to "defend" yourself from that, yeah.

People don't get punished for legit criticism or even the occasional gripe. You have to be excessively negative for a game to count against you.

EpitaphfireMay 24, 20181 votes

Considering this is an online game it isn't T-rated, it is unrated as the ESRB does not rate interactions online, which means you're dealing with real people, if you can't handle someone calling you an idiot for you making an idiotic decision time after time after TIME. Then you don't need to be playing. If you immediately cry "reported" or "stop flaming" when someone says something negative about your gameplay, then you're a bit too delicate to be online in the first place. When you say "reported" or "stop flaming" and, as almost all of you who cry those phrases do", follow it up with something in all chat asking everyone to report that person for being toxic, guess what, everyone is gonna do it, because they have no way of knowing if you were being toxic or not, they will assume you were, and when you get multiple reports in the same game, it flags you, and your chat is reviewed by an algorithm that was written by a special snowflake, and because you called them "idiot" ONCE in chat, you're likely going to see a chat restriction for it. That isn't exaggeration, that is just fact.

NyarlathοtepMay 23, 2018

OR OR just a thought there oke? Dont lose it or something. After a while people get tired of going through the same shit again and again and again.

SalsonMay 23, 20181 votes

Last time that happened to me, I went to the kitchen and got a cup of coffee. I didn't turn on ALL CAPS, wish people cancer or delude myself that I'm Challenger and my team holds me back.

It's all basically venting, and we invented porn for that.

NyarlathοtepMay 24, 20181 votes

Well i didnt really have in my mind something so extreme to be fair. And i had a close call yesterday that almost drove me almost there but i ended up just calling for reports.

KVbqbFsC8eMay 23, 20183 votes

{quoted}

I might be missing something, but last time I checked, men who can't control themselves were labeled immature brats.

And as brats, they need a spanking in the form of restrictions/ban.

I don't think that has anything to do with the OPs rant though. I don't see it as a matter of "control" either, but more reactionary. League has an odd definition of "flaming" where you need only say one thing to be considered "flaming" someone.

If you're in a 50 minute game and your 0/10 ADC Vayne tumbles into 5 people and loses you the game, you may get frustrated with that. You may type "Vayne you're bad" as a reaction, but according to the OP its some sort of calculated malicious attempt to emotionally harm someone. That seems quite absurd.

SalsonMay 23, 20183 votes

You may type "Vayne you're bad" as a reaction

I thought the whole EU vs NA toxicity thing was a joke.

That's not getting you punished unless it's either:

really frequent
accompanied by something more serious

I don't see it as a matter of "control" either, but more reactionary.

Imagine working with an idiot. Mouth: 'That's not a good idea, I have a better one' Mind: 'Are you being paid to be fcking retarded'

KVbqbFsC8eMay 23, 20181 votes

{quoted}

I thought the whole EU vs NA toxicity thing was a joke.

That's not getting you punished unless it's either:

really frequent

accompanied by something more serious

I wasn't using that example in regards to punishments, but to the OPs rant. I don't think anybody could view something like that as "preying on the emotionally fragile for personal satisfaction" or anything like that.

SalsonMay 23, 20181 votes

Yup, therefore when the title says Flame, one can assume it's actual verbal abuse and not something someone let out by accident.

Based on OP's rant, I think that's what he was referring to. He does mention punished people, and you really need to be an ass to get there, with a couple of false positives of course.

koshkyraMay 23, 20182 votes

[{quoted}](name=The Big Piece,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=EE0EH4An,comment-id=0000,timestamp=2018-05-23T06:40:28.428+0000)

Or have you ever thought that maybe people just get frustrated?

ty for commenting this

shh im hiddenz kMay 23, 20185 votes

[{quoted}](name=Chocolate Frost,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=EE0EH4An,comment-id=,timestamp=2018-05-23T05:55:03.381+0000)

By saying, 'it's just words, stop being so sensitive'.

Flaming people is nothing short of an attempt to antagonize them into feeling angry, sad, and victimized. It is an attack designed specifically to make oneself feel big by belittling others. And those who flame derive satisfaction from receiving negative reactions from the people they attack because it serves as confirmation that their attacks succeeded in inflicting harm.

But the moment that flaming results in a punishment, the offender will often justify their behavior and defend themselves by stating that they aren't the problem. They were just using words. And that everyone else is at fault for being too sensitive.

This is absolute hypocrisy.

Flamers habitually prey on the emotionally fragile for personal satisfaction. And those who are punished for it received exactly what they wanted in the first place.

A reaction. _

What kind of guy goes online, signs into his online gaming account and makes a social justice warrior thread about being teased on the internet and what the effects of teasing are?

It is a really sad and pathetic time in our society to where the modern man cries bully and plays victim amidst any would-be literary assailants because of their inability to cope with criticisms of third parties.

Your grandfathers were fighting wars with real violence under real threat and you're typing at two in the morning about how online bullies are meanies. Like... Jesus Christ.

Do you understand that America Online via the 90's had chat rooms for children (I know because, well, I was there) that were equally and/or less moderated than League of Legends?

Go buy a self help book, read up on some chapters and grab yourself some self esteem. Honestly, it is such unbelievable cringe browsing these forums sometimes. I can't even wrap my head around the presumable adult that wrote this.

Sir PrepuziusMay 23, 20181 votes

[deleted]

shh im hiddenz kMay 23, 20181 votes

[{quoted}](name=Sir Prepuzius,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=EE0EH4An,comment-id=00030000,timestamp=2018-05-23T10:44:44.510+0000)

wait, are you saying we shouldn't be playing and messing around on boards because our grandpas were fighting wars?

we sholdn't discuss cyber bullying because there are worst things? you know that are ppl that commit suicide for being harassed online, right?

OP said nothing wrong, flamers shouldn't cry for being banned, i agree, there are so many more cringey post so why the hate?

Pretty sure I'm just saying grow up, you whining baby. Obvious person who has no real life problems is obvious. (to op)

Sir PrepuziusMay 23, 20181 votes

[deleted]

shh im hiddenz kMay 23, 20181 votes

[{quoted}](name=Sir Prepuzius,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=EE0EH4An,comment-id=0003000000000000,timestamp=2018-05-23T10:59:33.573+0000)

well i'm sorry if you have real life big problems but i'm here on the boards just to have fun, i don't think i need to grow up nor do i appreciate being called whining baby for nothing, so i think you should moderate your tone from now on thank you very much bye

I wasn't even directing that towards you...

Sir PrepuziusMay 23, 20184 votes

[{quoted}](name=shh im hiddenz k,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=EE0EH4An,comment-id=00030000000000000000,timestamp=2018-05-23T11:05:34.012+0000)

I wasn't even directing that towards you...

yep, no hard feelings, you're my new hero afterall

shh im hiddenz kMay 23, 20182 votes

[{quoted}](name=Sir Prepuzius,realm=EUW,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=EE0EH4An,comment-id=000300000000000000000000,timestamp=2018-05-23T11:06:36.807+0000)

yep, no hard feelings, you're my new hero afterall

Yes, well, I want you to know that even though your voice might be small and not illogically popular as is your crazy leftist kin, you still have a voice, and you are not a sexist bigot racist evil person for voicing it. It is the voice of common sense, practicality, and it is just as viable.

Now, probably every post-30's person has at some point said this, but I honestly think everyone in their 20's is out of their damn minds.

When my elders called me a baby for not wanting to get stung by a wasp or fall off great heights, I thought they were a little too hard. But man, we're down to internet name calling, and there's not much lower to go.

Sir PrepuziusMay 23, 20183 votes

[{quoted}](name=shh im hiddenz k,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=EE0EH4An,comment-id=0003000000000000000000000000,timestamp=2018-05-23T11:09:32.713+0000)

Yes, well, I want you to know that even though your voice might be small and not illogically popular as is your crazy leftist kin, you still have a voice, and you are not a sexist bigot racist evil person for voicing it. It is the voice of common sense, practicality, and it is just as viable.

Now, probably every post-30's person has at some point said this, but I honestly think everyone in their 20's is out of their damn minds.

When my elders called me a baby for not wanting to get stung by a wasp or fall off great heights, I thought they were a little too hard. But man, we're down to internet name calling, and there's not much lower to go.

eh, times are changed, nowadays if a teacher scold his student he is most likely to get sued...

ThePerson76May 23, 20185 votes

Why does not wanting people to be rude make you leftist? And why so directed toward the whole "Be a man" thing? What if I don't really care about seeming manly?

shh im hiddenz kMay 23, 20181 votes

{quoted}

Why does not wanting people to be rude make you leftist? And why so directed toward the whole "Be a man" thing? What if I don't really care about seeming manly?

Then don't be. Don't tell other people how to live either or try to rip masculine culture from society with stupid ass threads like this just because it doesn't suit you.

KarunamonMay 23, 20183 votes

Pretty sure I'm just saying grow up, you whining baby.

Oddly enough, this is my usual reaction to people salty that they got a ban for breaking the rules. You want to talk babies? How much of a baby do you have to be to lose all self-control over what you type?

shh im hiddenz kMay 23, 20181 votes

{quoted}

Oddly enough, this is my usual reaction to people salty that they got a ban for breaking the rules. You want to talk babies? How much of a baby do you have to be to lose all self-control over what you type?

Oh probably as much of a fucking baby as you'd have to be to tell on them online. Probably that much. Grow up.

SenorBobbersMay 23, 20184 votes

2 sentences in and you're acting like you know other people's intent and start assuming things

Murl0ughMay 23, 20183 votes

Don't be an asshole and I won't flame you. :l

If you steal a health rune at 90% hp and I'm Sorka at 20% I'm gonna say something and the jerk who stole the health deserves to be told off.

Context matters. I would do it to people in real life why do you think my league games are your safe space. Be cool, be a teamplayer, or prepare to catch words, mate.

HalcyonDwellerMay 23, 20182 votes

Assholes:

allow themselves to enjoy special advantages over others in cooperative environments
do it out of an entrenched sense of entitlement
are immunized against the complaints of others by that sense of entitlement

I don't think this applies to your soraka example necessarily, and it's possible for someone to do something like that by mistake, rather than by intentionally taking it away from a weaker teammate. I'm not saying that it's impossible for someone in soraka's position there to be an asshole, I'm just saying that you can't misuse occam's razor and then feel justified in flaming them. If you mistake an accident for intentionally antagonistic behavior then it's your own fault and not theirs that you flamed them.

Murl0ughMay 23, 20182 votes

Please tell me where you got that definition for* asshole. I really want to call you out on it but I'll roll with it for the sake of an argument.

Look man, it was intentional. Sometimes mistakes happen and I don't get pissed about them but in this situation the pathing was very deliberate. I don't know you claim it could have been an accident and then move forward as if that definately is what it was.

You weren't there. Take my word for it. Theres a difference between making mistakes (being human) and being a dick to your team because you are the ad carry at a measly 90% with Lifesteal (aka being an asshole). I will fucking speak my mind over the second one. I won't even blink at the first.

I'm not the kind of player who starts off every game, or any game, looking to ping spam anyone for any error they make. If I'm playing jungle and the support runs up to jack my blue when I need it I'm gonna say something and they deserve to be told they are a terrible teammate.

Its about context.

HalcyonDwellerMay 23, 20182 votes

Alright I respect your stance on things. Like I said in my prior comment, I wasn't saying it was impossible or even unlikely for them to not have been doing it to spite you, I was simply saying that the opposite could be possible.

It's a philosophical definition of asshole. It comes from the book "Assholes, a theory" by Aaron James. It's a good read. I brought that definition up because the term asshole is used a bit too liberally in modern day society. The person may have been a dick, or a scumbag, or a troll, but to be an asshole they would have to think they had a justifiable right to need that health relic more than you, and they would have to think that that right rendered your complaints (about their 'cutting in line' so to speak) irrelevant to the situation.

It's the lack of recognition of moral equality that makes assholes so infuriating for most people.

Murl0ughMay 24, 20181 votes

So we agree then? Wasn't expecting that but neat. I dunno why someone downvoted ya but balance in all things, I guess.

I'll look up the book but I haven't taken the time to actually sit down and read one in a good while.

HalcyonDwellerMay 24, 20181 votes

Yes it seems we agree :) bah downvotes are just some peoples' way of showing they care.

Well if you do decide to give it a try I hope that you like it! Be warned that it's a bit dense, it has the pace of a philosophy essay so I've found I can only read it in short bursts. I feel ya about not reading much anymore, I've been trying to get back into it, hence this book.

MemeL0rd111May 23, 20182 votes

Exactly. I definitely agree with this, happened to me a lot. I always gave a reaction and BOOM. Chat bans. I've learned to just mute them or pretend that they are not there and then report them afterwards, ez.

Darth SwainMay 23, 20182 votes

same

MasterofSFLMay 23, 20182 votes

Brb, throwing all forms of criticism out the window.

need a namexDMay 23, 20181 votes

-Flames to feel big -Doesn't mute cus dick issues and ''he'd win over me'' -Can't remove or unbind chat without using a 3rd party program

Pax010May 23, 20181 votes

I suggest ignoring the users or Just Muting them for the rest of the game

Best Vi EarthMay 23, 20181 votes

its another way to win vs an opponent. league players do have fragile minds which is great easier wins.

I Main SwainMay 23, 20181 votes

"its just words, stop being so sensitive"

its just a game, stop being so sensitive

FurriesAreHotMay 24, 20181 votes

It’s just electromagnetic radiation hitting your eyes. Stop being so sensitive.

9R54dfWJwJMay 24, 20181 votes

i got perma banned on this acc, one of my smurfs for telling a teemo raging in all caps to stfu. then he went on a shpill and started harassing me even tho i was positive on my shittiest role (adc), i always fill while he spammed top in champ lobby and went negative. so you already know im already irriatated by this guys dumbass logic, even goes on further about how hes helping the team by constantly pushing top t2 tower and dying. (didnt even dmg the turret after multiple deaths).

so i tried pointing out his flawed ass logic and ofc he raging harder and throwing more insults. so called him retarded and mentally challenged.

no suspension or chat logs, nope just perma banned. but he hasnt played any games as long as i have, so im guessing he got perma banned too. i really need to start muting everyone as soon as i get in the game. it honestly should be an option

BestPudgeNAMay 25, 20181 votes

[{quoted}](name=Chocolate Frost,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=EE0EH4An,comment-id=,timestamp=2018-05-23T05:55:03.381+0000)

By saying, 'it's just words, stop being so sensitive'.

Flaming people is nothing short of an attempt to antagonize them into feeling angry, sad, and victimized. It is an attack designed specifically to make oneself feel big by belittling others. And those who flame derive satisfaction from receiving negative reactions from the people they attack because it serves as confirmation that their attacks succeeded in inflicting harm.

While i think it's great you want to play unlicensed internet psychologist and all, you don't know people intentions so stop apply motives which you have no evidence of.

Either way it doesn't matter anymore, it's going to be illegal for riot to bad/punishes flamers. Twitter has been ruled to be a public forum and League of legends will follow and be protected by the 1st amendment.

omar72May 26, 20181 votes

Yeah, I flame, but I don't defend myself. I think flaming is actually bad and should be punished, but that doesn't mean it's going to stop me from flaming.

Sorin AlucardMay 27, 20181 votes

First of all, it is just words. It just so happens that so many players (like yourself who have this 'victimization' complex) have been complaining, threatening suicide (not exaggerating), and/or straight up harassing Riot over verbal issues so much they changed their policies.

Slowly but surely, every time we've been re-signing the terms of service agreements in between patches, less and less verbal communication is being allowed other than overly positive phrases (because they can hardly be misconstrued as negative).

This isn't because Riot agrees with you morally This is like when children bicker over a toy so much the parent just takes the toy away.

For example, Korean Servers aren't nearly as harsh over what words are used. As Cowsep has shown recently, the list of what you "can't say to others" is only 1 word long.

What does it say that the entire Korean server is functioning fine with a mute and only 1 bannable word? What does it say that their focus is on actual player behavior like inting and trolling?

It means that in our culture victimization and social righteousness have become just as much a trend as the realities they were inspired by. Whining about how people hurt your feelings in a video game is now evidence of "abuse".

To be clear, I'm not saying there isn't ridiculous, over the top rageful vulgarity being spewed. You're right there are a lot of petty, infuriatingly shallow individuals who do just want to make you feel bad. I also agree that a person who only gets on the game to type paragraph after paragraph game after game is in a way trolling and not really playing. Therefore I don't disagree with chat punishments and such.

However it is sad that language has become soooooo policed that banter with the enemy isn't allowed and cracking jokes is risky. I could've been playing this game since launch and all it takes is a "GG EZ" to get penalized. Also there are still the people like yourself, who've allowed such emotional attachment to anonymous insults you've actually used the word "victimization" in relation to a video game.