I'm honestly tired of seeing people whine about harassment on the boards

Nucleophilic atk·Mar 4, 2015·9 votes·1,283 views

So many "omg he told me to kill myself" threads. Like, fuking grow a pair or mute them. Really simple. Not saying the things they say are right, but you need to grow up about it as well as them. I just saw some moron that added a guy that was harassing him. Then sat there afterwards instigating the harassment instead of just not accepting the friend request and moving on. He then gets on the boards to try and cry to a riot support guy about how he was harassed. Like, get a life dude.

TL;DR: Don't get on the forums bitching about being verbally abused if you don't take the 1 simple step to stop it from happening.

58 Comments

mvargusMar 4, 20157 votes

Nucleo, muting is easy, but people are also hoping that someone will step up and start trying to turn the community around. I try by being polite here and in game and saying positive things. however, many people don't seem to know how to do that so they complain to others hoping that others will do that for them.

I'm not saying they are right to complain, only that its understandable that they do.

Nucleophilic atkMar 4, 20151 votes

You can't change how people act. You can control how you react to it.

GraidonMar 4, 20152 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=00020000,timestamp=2015-03-04T18:57:03.316+0000)

You can't change how people act. You can control how you react to it.

Except, we have these things. These things are called laws. They do this thing. It's called enforcement.

You see, when a bad person wants to do bad things, we shouldn't just say "oh well, at least I can control how much I scream while he kills me?" Instead, what happens is the bad man decides not to hurt someone because they will go to jail, or get shot.

I tried to make this simple. Here's another way to help:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyeJ55o3El0

Not really. Bu still.

Nucleophilic atkMar 4, 20151 votes

Pretty sure there is no law against someone coming up to and saying "you're a fuking moron".

GraidonMar 6, 20153 votes

In school. In a professional workplace. In a court room.

Say it again. Seriously, say it again in those places. You might find that your argument holds a little less weight.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPHuE5pDlEs

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20151 votes

I would love to see which law you are referring to, please.

GraidonMar 11, 20152 votes

I typed random school handbook. This is what came up:

http://www.hcrhs.k12.nj.us/student-handbook/health-safety-and-discipline/index.aspx#fourlevelsofdiscipline

Pretty clear it does not allow for that kind of language of behavior.

Check. Mate.

Nucleophilic atkMar 11, 20151 votes

School handbook =/= law. Sorry.

GraidonMar 11, 20153 votes

Some laws do not apply in schools. Read: First Amendment. Second Amendment.

Schools have rules which act as laws. Mated.

Nucleophilic atkMar 11, 20151 votes

I will say it again, school rule is not a law. You said law. I am not saying there isn't one, I just would like you to provide me with the source that you used to make your claim that walking up to someone and calling them an idiot is against the law.

GraidonMar 12, 20153 votes

You continue to be an idiot.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_defamation_law#Defamation_per_se

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/22/facebook-ex-trashing_n_1822279.html

https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20140707/10102027802/man-falls-asleep-mlb-game-sues-mlb-10-million-noticing.shtml

There are laws for EVERYTHING.

You are too dumb to insult.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDbuhhRthqU

Nucleophilic atkMar 12, 20151 votes

I continue to be an idiot as you cite 3 completely stupid sources? Logical thinking there. Anyway, you post an article about some guy who is suing because he was filmed sleeping. Did he win? Your article makes no claim. I'm pretty sure I can go and sue anyone for anything, doesn't mean I am going to win the lawsuit. The article also claims that there is evidence none of his claims are correct. Like, did you even read the article you are posting? Or did you just google, "shit to make me look stupid" and paste the first link that came up? I am honestly confused as to if you were born this dumb or if you had to work at it.

I will say it again. I am not saying that there is no law, but I am asking you to provide evidence of such law for your argument. Do not post some random article about a guy losing a law suit lol.

JubbinautMar 12, 20152 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=000200000000000000000000000000000000000000000000,timestamp=2015-03-12T18:56:50.161+0000)

Or did you just google, "shit to make me look stupid" and paste the first link that came up?

This is the top link when I made that Google search: http://jamesclear.com/overcoming-fear

Nucleophilic atkMar 12, 20151 votes

Lol, +1 for effort, my man.

GraidonMar 16, 20152 votes

You ask for examples. I give you them. You ask for laws. I give you them. You think a source is stupid. What parameters are you using to create that judgment? The United States Legal Code is a stupid source?

That's just.....stupid.

You said there was no case where someone could walk up, talk shit, and get sued. I'm showing you examples to the contrary and explaining how laws can be manipulated to sue for just about anything. You cart blanche calling them stupid is not a legitimate dismissal.

Your inability to comprehend the magnitude of stupidity in our society is only slightly balmed by the fact that you yourself are a shining example of the exact stupidity surrounding the discussion.

Did I read the article? Yes. Why? You make an offhand comment as if that acts as some sort of point in a high school debate.

This is how stupid you are. You literally contradict yourself in your posts.

Quote:

I am not saying that there is no law

Quote again:

there is no law

....idiot.

Also, the guy didn't lose the law suit. The case is in the exploratory phase. You made another idiotic statement with no proof. And make claims demanding that you want proof.

.....

Nucleophilic atkMar 16, 20151 votes

You have not cited a single law. You cited a school handbook and some guy trying to sue over being filmed napping. At this point, I have to believe that you are trying to troll.

GraidonMar 16, 20151 votes

Look again retard. Defamation law. It exists.

Ans also, you completely ignore everything else I called you out on. Nice try.

EleshakaiMar 6, 20151 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=0002000000000000,timestamp=2015-03-04T20:35:25.111+0000)

Pretty sure there is no law against someone coming up to and saying "you're a fuking moron".

It depends, if you did it persistently it'd be considered harassment. And that's what is mostly complained about. They don't just say 'you're a moron' they say 'you're a moron' every 3 seconds for the duration of the game.

GaleWinUnleashedMar 6, 20154 votes

So it's easy for you to shrug off insults. Good for you. Great, in fact.

However, it is most certainly not as easy for everyone. Don't underestimate how much depression and other problems can damage your ability to cope rationally with toxic behavior.

Edit: Also, another friendly reminder to change your vocabulary and phrasing when making these posts. You may actually have a good point, but it goes unnoticed because of the nasty way you choose to frame it. Your tone is to blame for the majority of the downvotes you seem to recieve on a regular basis.

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20151 votes

{quoted}

So it's easy for you to shrug off insults. Good for you. Great, in fact.

However, it is most certainly not as easy for everyone.

I understand this. If you are one of those people, however, you probably shouldn't be playing a video game that is known for it's bad community. If you do decide to play, then understand that people are dicks. If someone starts to bad mouth, then mute them. Problem solved.

GaleWinUnleashedMar 6, 20151 votes

I work on keeping the attitude in the game light enough that no one feels like cussing. Works better than you might think. In those situations where that doesn't work, one guy will not push me over the edge. That being said, there are others that have it much worse than I do, and this might not be the case for them. For their sakes (and partially mine as well), I would like to ask that you not look at it in quite such a binary fashion.

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20151 votes

I understand that people are bad. But if you are at a point in your life where someone calling you a baddie at league is going to make you commit suicide, then you should not be playing league.

GaleWinUnleashedMar 6, 20151 votes

If that was all it took, my 8 years of depression so far would not have lasted longer than a month or so. Nothing League-related is going to push me to suicide. In fact, I find it quite helpful; there's something amazingly therapeutic about helping 9 other people to have a fun game.

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20151 votes

I do not mean you as in you personally, but referring to your example. You are actually what I am talking about when I say mute and move on lol.

GaleWinUnleashedMar 6, 20151 votes

Nah, other players can't make me think worse of myself than I already do. Muting is redundant in my case.

RushIsPrimaryMar 4, 20152 votes

I agree to a point. Just because the person sets themselves up to be harassed, as you put it, doesn't mean its ok. Granted, they are just as guilty for allowing a person to continue contact with them in a harassing manner, but that does NOT excuse the harass the person has received. Still is wrong/against TOS from Riot to verbally abuse/harass. Both people should be called out, but the bully should be punished IMO.

Nucleophilic atkMar 4, 20151 votes

Again, you can't control how people act. You can, however, control how you react to it. Instead of sitting there instigating the dude, the bitching about him, just block, report, and move on. I really don't get why people can't make intelligent decisions, and more importantly, why they feel the need to bitch about others for their dumb decisions.

DocratoMar 4, 20159 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=00010000,timestamp=2015-03-04T18:59:11.589+0000)

Again, you can't control how people act. You can, however, control how you react to it. ~~Instead of sitting there instigating the dude, the bitching about him, just block, report, and move on. I really don't get why people can't make intelligent decisions, and more importantly,~~ why they feel the need to bitch about others for their dumb decisions.

So why did you make this thread? You're essentially doing what you're complaining about.

AVLBogoOct 10, 20152 votes

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EleshakaiMar 6, 20151 votes

Nucleophilic... just because you're so disenfranchised and disillusioned that the opinions of others have no effect on you doesn't mean that others are the same way. Nor should they be. The world would be a horrible place if we didn't care about each other. Most people are impacted by what others think of them, to some degree at least, and as such things like what happens online(especially the 'go kill yourself' style of harassment) do hurt the majority of people.

Unless you're suggesting that everyone just mute EVERYONE every game, muting doesn't prevent harassment... it just stops it AFTER it has already started. Again, as people have been telling you for ages but you seem incapable of understanding: the mute button is not a panacea. It does not CURE the harassment. It doesn't make the person feel better, it doesn't heal the hurt that's been done. What it does is prevent it from getting worse. The mute button is a bandaid. It covers something that is hurt and prevents it from getting hurt worse... which is good, and should definitely be encouraged... but the ability to stop matters from getting worse does NOT justify the fact that the person did the action in the first place.

I'll give you the same example I gave you elsewhere that you refused to reply to: If you walk up to me and stab me, and I leave and go to the hospital and they treat me and prevent the injury from getting worse... does that JUSTIFY the fact that you stabbed me?

The ability to stop matters from getting worse does not justify a person who chooses to hurt others. Regardless of if that hurt is emotional, psychological, physical, or financial.

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20151 votes

Again, you cannot control a person walking up and stabbing you. Saying, "stabbing is bad. please don't do it" is not going to solve your problems lol. Sorry. Not too mention, the type of harassment you are talking about is not equal. People don't load into a room and randomly tell you to kill yourself. Someone starts to be a dick? Mute them before it escalates. Simple concept. And no, I am not justifying people being dicks. I'm not sure why people assume that because it makes no sense at all. I am simply saying if you are going to add someone that was harassing you and instigate them harassing you further, then you deserve to be harassed.

EleshakaiMar 6, 20151 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=00040000,timestamp=2015-03-06T18:32:34.331+0000)

Again, you cannot control a person walking up and stabbing you. Saying, "stabbing is bad. please don't do it" is not going to solve your problems lol. Sorry. Not too mention, the type of harassment you are talking about is not equal. People don't load into a room and randomly tell you to kill yourself. Someone starts to be a dick? Mute them before it escalates. Simple concept. And no, I am not justifying people being dicks. I'm not sure why people assume that because it makes no sense at all. I am simply saying if you are going to add someone that was harassing you and instigate them harassing you further, then you deserve to be harassed.

ya but I'd absolutely go to the police if someone stabbed me. I'm going to complain that it happened. I'm not just going to go 'well the wound didn't get any worse, so it's okay' - I'm going to raise a fuss because it shouldn't have happened.

And what you're encouraging is p eople to use the bandaid, and then not go any further(which is essentially saying it is okay for them to do it because I can stop it from getting worse). And if people don't go further... things won't improve. People NEED to take a stand against this sort of behaviour, because if we don't, we send the message that it is acceptable. And it's not. And until we can make it clear that we, as a community, feel it is not acceptible... it will never get better. So threads like yours which say 'well it's fine since I can stop it'... are not helping.

And I'm THRILLED that you're getting downvoted so harshly for this ridiculous thread.

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20151 votes

{quoted}

So threads like yours which say 'well it's fine since I can stop it'... are not helping.

"And no, I am not justifying people being dicks." "Not saying the things they say are right"

Lol, ok then. I suppose I can't discuss things with you anymore since you either cannot or chose not to read.

And I'm THRILLED that you're getting downvoted so harshly for this ridiculous thread.

OMG such bully! You are bullying me. Pretty hypocritical of you at this point. I'm going to go cry now because some random guy on the internet said mean things about me.

EleshakaiMar 6, 20151 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=0004000000000001,timestamp=2015-03-06T19:12:04.838+0000)

. "Not saying the things they say are right"

Lol, ok then. I suppose I can't discuss things with you anymore since you either cannot or chose not to read.

OMG such bully! You are bullying me. Pretty hypocritical of you at this point. I'm going to go cry now because some random guy on the internet said mean things about me.

You're complaining about my lack of reading comprehension... and then your last post is talking about how I think muting is bad... when I clearly stated in a post just above that muting should be encouraged and it is a great option to have... but simply that it doesn't fix the problem nor does it justify what happened. The existence of mute is a great thing, just like the existence of bandaids is awesome. It's great that people have a way to stop the bleeding, as it were...

My reading comprehension is fine though... it is simply that the overall message you're sending disagrees with your counterpoints. And that's the problem. You're telling people not to complain, not to make a big deal out of the things that happen, etc. You're telling people to just ignore it and pretend it isn't happening and move on.

And by not complaining, by not taking a stand, by not acting against it... you're encouraging it. By not saying it's wrong, by not showing you disagree with the behaviour... and worst of all by telling people they are wrong for taking a stand against it... you're saying that you feel it's right. You can try to come up with as many disingenuous quotes to try to prove that you feel it's wrong... but as long as you're telling people not to make a big deal out of it happening, not to try to change things... your actions say that you are in favour of it. And actions speak louder than words.

And no, I'm thrilled you're being downvoted because it means that we, as a community, disagree with you. And that's fantastic. That is incredibly encouraging.

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20151 votes

I see another relapse in your reading ability:

TL;DR: Don't get on the forums bitching about being verbally abused if you don't take the 1 simple step to stop it from happening.

That does not mean don't say anything. That means don't complain if you don't even take a simple step to fixing it. Much like someone that doesn't exercise or eat healthy complaining about being overweight lol.

EleshakaiMar 6, 20151 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=000400000000000100000000,timestamp=2015-03-06T20:32:37.822+0000)

I see another relapse in your reading ability:

That does not mean don't say anything. That means don't complain if you don't even take a simple step to fixing it. Much like someone that doesn't exercise or eat healthy complaining about being overweight lol.

If you make a thread and put a disingenuous TLDR that doesn't actually sum up your post... quoting it does no good.

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20151 votes

Uhm, it actually summed up the post rather well. And you chose to ignore it. And then make silly claims and pass them off as my thoughts.

EleshakaiMar 6, 20151 votes

So basically the point of your post was to whine about that ONE PERSON who did that?

There's only been one person who complained about instigating someone and then getting trolled - and it wasn't even a death threat, it was just a really rude troll.

Why not just whine in that one person's thread In stead of trying to make a big point out of the fact that ONE PERSON(and only one person) posted something you disagree with?

Oh right... you did, and people called you on it there. So you decided to create your own post in the hopes people wouldn't call you on it here. Sorry, but we will.

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20151 votes

If you think it is only one person, you are delusional. This was simply an example. I see that you had nothing to say on the reply, so you started a new topic instead :D Sorry Mr. Business major, you will not get my replies anymore.

EleshakaiMar 6, 20151 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=00050000,timestamp=2015-03-06T21:53:47.262+0000)

If you think it is only one person, you are delusional. This was simply an example. I see that you had nothing to say on the reply, so you started a new topic instead :D Sorry Mr. Business major, you will not get my replies anymore.

I've never once said I was a business major. I actually don't think anyone did... but I know I didn't. Because I'm not. I have a basic understanding of the subjects related - which is a lot more than you can say - but I'm far from a major. An ACTUAL business major would talk circles around me on the subject... but none are around so I will share my understanding in the hopes that your misinformation doesn't become common knowledge - because an idiot with a rumour can turn that rumour into common knowledge if he merely says it confidently enough.

That being said, I didn't change the subject, I merely replied to your insinuation... I had originally drafted a post about how poorly you'd written your op and how it was giving the wrong message... but you'd just ignore it and resort to insults, so I changed my mind and in stead went to targeting your specific point in the last post for my reply.

The reality is, your post is written such that your THEME is "So many "omg he told me to kill myself" threads. Like, fuking grow a pair or mute them. Really simple."

That is the message you're going to convey. People are going to see that and read the rest of your post with the understanding that THAT is your message. That's why it is very important to choose your first words in a topic carefully because they DO in fact influence the way people read the rest of your post.

So your theme - your 'thesis' as it were - and your conclusion are at odds with one another. This is why your post is being misconstrued.

Señor KarthusMar 6, 20151 votes

Nucleophilic. Good thing that I can look your username up and block you instantly. I have no time for bullies with no brain or empathy who think is alright to use homophobic or racist slurs on a public multiplayer game or anywhere in the internet. Or trying to minimize how awful is to tell someone to kill themselves when there are so many people in the line of depression and suicide. If you have been doing these things, I really hope you have been properly reported and banned so we never see your ass again.

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20152 votes

Nice assumptions there, bud. I do have a couple things to say to your comment. First, thanks for blocking me. Second, not sure why you think I am a bully or don't have a brain or empathy. I am actually pretty nice and have a well educated brain. I also would love to know where you got the idea that I think it is ok to use homophobic or racist slurs in any situation. I have never said this or implied it. I appreciate you trying to make a point, but would appreciate it more if it were actually well thought out and not full of blatant lies. I also don't know where you got the idea that I try to minimize how awful depression and suicide are. They are real issues and I deal with them a lot in my field. Lastly, no, I have not been doing these things lol. You made a lot of wild and crazy assumptions, all of which are false.

EleshakaiMar 6, 20152 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=00070000,timestamp=2015-03-06T22:56:10.693+0000)

Nice assumptions there, bud. I do have a couple things to say to your comment. First, thanks for blocking me. Second, not sure why you think I am a bully or don't have a brain or empathy. I am actually pretty nice and have a well educated brain. I also would love to know where you got the idea that I think it is ok to use homophobic or racist slurs in any situation. I have never said this or implied it. I appreciate you trying to make a point, but would appreciate it more if it were actually well thought out and not full of blatant lies. I also don't know where you got the idea that I try to minimize how awful depression and suicide are. They are real issues and I deal with them a lot in my field. Lastly, no, I have not been doing these things lol. You made a lot of wild and crazy assumptions, all of which are false.

I don't think it's possible for a person with your attitude to be nice in general. I imagine you can probably be pretty nice to those who are personally important to you, but not in general.

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20152 votes

Well I'm glad you have a thought, but I honestly don't care what you think of me lol. I know where I stand and I know how I behave. You judging me because I think players that are offended by other's toxic language should mute them and move on has no impact on my mental state whatsoever lol.

EleshakaiMar 6, 20152 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=0007000000000000,timestamp=2015-03-06T23:45:21.758+0000)

Well I'm glad you have a thought, but I honestly don't care what you think of me lol. I know where I stand and I know how I behave. You judging me because I think players that are offended by other's toxic language should mute them and move on has no impact on my mental state whatsoever lol.

The fact that you're seemingly incapable of caring enough about others to recognize the way this can impact them is the actual reason I think that of you.

But hey, I don't know you. I just know how you treat those you don't know.

b1TLHaKERlMar 7, 20151 votes

Don't let Elesh get you down, he follows me around and rages at my every post, it's the epitome of hypocrisy, yet he continues to do it while having the audacity to judge others, seems legit. Just play the game to the best of your ability, enjoy it as much as you can, if people like Elesh rage at you or judge you, just laugh at them and be playful, eventually they'll get the hint that nothing they say will have any effect on you.

Señor KarthusMar 6, 20151 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=00070000,timestamp=2015-03-06T22:56:10.693+0000)

Nice assumptions there, bud. I do have a couple things to say to your comment. First, thanks for blocking me. Second, not sure why you think I am a bully or don't have a brain or empathy. I am actually pretty nice and have a well educated brain. I also would love to know where you got the idea that I think it is ok to use homophobic or racist slurs in any situation. I have never said this or implied it. I appreciate you trying to make a point, but would appreciate it more if it were actually well thought out and not full of blatant lies. I also don't know where you got the idea that I try to minimize how awful depression and suicide are. They are real issues and I deal with them a lot in my field. Lastly, no, I have not been doing these things lol. You made a lot of wild and crazy assumptions, all of which are false.

The moment you are excusing an unacceptable behavior and saying that people should "get over it" you are siding with the bullies. I don't know if you really are. I don't care. Because you are the same and with that way of thinking you perfectly could be one. I'm scared that someone who says this kind of horrible things states that this is their "work field." I don't know where you work but if you work with anything related to psychology or social/emergency services, please quit. Someone who says "anyone depressed should stop playing LoL" is someone extremely ignorant and/or extremely unemphatic. If a professional said to a person with a strong depression not to do anything they like, then the suicide rates would just skyrocket. Please never work in anything related with human emotions. You not only know nothing about it, but you are also dangerous for everybody in a fragile state.

Nucleophilic atkMar 6, 20151 votes

{quoted}

Someone who says "anyone depressed should stop playing LoL" is someone extremely ignorant and/or extremely unemphatic.

So basically you are saying that someone who will kill themselves if told to do so on league, should play league? I'm sorry, but why would you want people to kill themselves?

Señor KarthusMar 7, 20151 votes

[{quoted}](name=Nucleophilic atk,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=wquZo1zW,comment-id=0007000000010000,timestamp=2015-03-06T23:58:00.395+0000)

So basically you are saying that someone who will kill themselves if told to do so on league, should play league? I'm sorry, but why would you want people to kill themselves?

What if those comments are the ones who started to bring someone down? What if they just add shit to a bad period of time and they become unbearable? Why would anyone stop doing something they love and find fun just because there are UNEDUCATED ASSHOLES? Why do you keep defending those assholes instead of saying "YES THAT BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE"? No. You come here and post a thread about how people need to suck it up. Well I am sorry to be rude, but fuck you and your opinion.

Nucleophilic atkMar 7, 20151 votes

You just called me ignorant because I said someone who would kill themselves if told to do so on Leauge, shouldn't play League. Essentially saving a life. Also, I didn't say their behavior was right. But since you can't change their behavior, why not mute and move on? Do you think they should sit there and argue with them?