Don't play while drunk/high . . . or at least try not to.
I don't even know how I got to that point to begin with, I don't quite remember any alcohol or drugs . . . well appearantly something definitely happened, after taking a look at my recent match history. Sorry to all the people that had to play with me.
At least it'll make for some hilarious replays. Thank god I didn't pick ranked and played normal drafts instead.