Rigorously collected scientific data PROVES league players are chauvinistic pigs

Greetings everyone! I am Fartermeister Buttbottoms, internationally renowned researcher in gender studies at Harvard. I hold a ph.D in 13th century African Literature as well as on League champion boob sizes, so I am well qualified to talk about the testosterone fueled 13 year old league playerbase.

According to the results of my study, I've found that while only 34% of the champions are female, these female champions are played a whopping 36% of the time. Shocking! Furthermore, female champions with larger boob sizes are played as much as .00073% per cup size more often than their flat chested counterparts*. The statistics don't lie; clearly, all league players prefer champions with larger boobs. In fact, small boobed champions like poppy rarely experience play at all! Meanwhile, champions with large chests like Caitlyn, Braum, and Morgana are played in the LCS almost every day!

*Jinx, Vayne, Annie, Rek'Sai and Tristana were excluded from this study due to technical difficulties, not because they have small boobs or anything

My hypothesis is that larger boobed champions are naturally more powerful. Although most denizens of Runeterra naturally have biceps and breast sizes five times larger than the average earthling, those who are more "well-endowed" have the ability to store runic energies into their chests draw on it as a reserve. However, Riot has never stated this fact officially in lore, so clearly, Riot is objectifying women by placing hidden "facts" like the above for intelligent scientists like me to discover.

Futhermore, it is even possible that Riot is trying to subliminally getting its playerbase to associate boobs with power. What treachery! Riot is trying to undermine the new era of realistic standards with its subversive and vile plans! Now we must go to riot headquarters and start pooping on their floors in protest, or we will forever be slaves in this oligarchical tyranny that is Riot.