'Twas the Patch After Dreamhack
Repost of a poem I posted on the forums in season 2.
It's that time of year again, and keeping with the tradition of a ghost story for the occasion, I have decided to create one.
'Twas the patch after Dreamhack, when all through the server, People queued up for ranked, with newfound Dreamhack fervor. As I got in the queue, and got paired in a snap, Little did I know of the coming mishap.
First pick I was, banning TF and Ashe, As my teammates called out, "We've got this, they're trash!" I saw their team captain ban Nocturne and Swain, and I picked a mage - Brand, to bring the pain.
And then in an instant, I heard the QQing, I knew in a moment that trouble was brewing. "PLEASE LET ME MID..." the ghost started pleading, "LET ME MID... OR THERE SHALL BE FEEDING."
"I picked Brand," I said, "can't you solo top?" The ghost kept insisting, it just wouldn't stop. Steadfast I was, not changing my voice - "Besides, you won't feed, we'll report you, no choice."
Everyone else had selected a hero, The ghost's turn was ending, timer close to zero. Locking in Yorick, his voice gave a chill, "I shall not feed them today... but YOU WILL."
As the game was beginning, we guarded Maokai, We would stop them from stealing - or at least we would try. We CV'd their blue - yes, they were all there. Maokai could grab blue, without much a care.
As Maokai ganked Cass, I landed my stun, Maokai got first blood, and I started to run. For I knew who was coming to seal my fate - Warwick was chasing, and I was too late.
Maokai rooted Warwick, right under our turret, And he had no choice but to sit and endure it. I finished him off with one Conflagration - This Maokai was good, he had my admiration.
Twenty minutes in, I was chasing down Singed, When his teammates all caught me, I shuddered and cringed. What have I done? That was stupid of me, I was dead, and I knew it - should've let Singed flee.
Yorick, however, had just TP'd in, and he ulted me, letting me fight for the win - Or so I thought, as I died right away, Still looking to kill someone - oh, they will pay.
However, Caitlyn had killed me one more time, but yet I respawned - penance for my crime? Singed's poison did not relent - still I died, The ghost's promise was realized - I began to cry.
I tried to escape, but they wouldn't relent, I shouldn't have chased Singed - for this I repent, But Yorick was bugged - I was doomed to keep feeding, Soon our game changed, 'twas the enemy leading.
Three/Six-hundred and thirty-one/four, As the enemy trapped me, this was my score. We'd lose every team fight, it was easily seen - Our team was half-levelled, they were all L18.
Surrender at 20 - perfect to start the day, Ruined forever was my ranked K/D/A. No loss forgiven - ugh, it was a shame. Massive feeding would be my claim to fame.
At the after-game lobby, we each talked about The bug that soon turned the game to a rout. But the ghost had exclaimed, 'ere he gave us his name, "JUST GIVE ME MID NEXT TIME, AND HAVE A GOOD GAME."
