Normal day in the Riot balancing department:

Riot James- Hey guys! I'm new here and I hope we work together in balancing our champions appropriately and fairly for all players. My name is Riot James and yes I use my first name as my summoner name but I am so excited for us to make a better League of Legends!

Riot Ghostcrawler- And we do too! Speaking of which, we still have to discuss the assassin reworks... Anyone got ANY ideas?

Riot James- Oh! I actually had an idea for a champion like... Shaco! We've all noticed he's at a very unhealthy state but there's room in this kit to make him perfectly healthy, balanced and overall just a nice, if not still just a niche, champion! First, I recommend that we make his Q stealth duration scale. So, we start with 1.5 seconds and it scales all the way up to 4.5 seconds. You can place boxes while stealthed! His Q damaged needs to be changed, it's kind of bad that his Q is a critical strike (except not really) in the first place and I think just simple bonus damage on top of the regular auto attack damage would be appropriate. I also think his boxes' health should scale based on his health. Granted, it might have to be a fairly low number but I personally think that's the best decision. His E's base damage should go down a little bit but I think changing his AD% value from bonus to total is also a good change, though that'd also have to go down to about 80% from 100%. His AP value really doesn't need to be changed. His ultimate is where it gets good! What if his clone exploded and 3 boxes came out and ofcourse they have the normal delay before activating but what if targets hit by the explosion was also feared for 1.5 seconds? It'd be a chain fear! That way, the clone still won't be very reliable considering it's hard to get it to explode next to someone in the first place but it's actually rewarding if you do! As for the passive...

Riot Ghostcrawler- Is he still talking...?

Riot Meddler- No no, I get where you are coming from James but what... I actually like your scaling stealth idea but what if we also cut his damage by 70%?

Riot James- W-what?

Riot Jag- Hi I'm here too.

Riot Meddler- Jag, just shut up and play the game.

Riot Jag- Ok...

Riot Ghostcrawler- We do have to kind of control that change, I mean I don't like that too but we have to pretend we're balancing him.

Riot James- Pretend?

Riot Meddler- pfft! I guess you're right... Ok, how about we just increase the cooldown for his Q and give it a 2.5s reduction if they land it.

Riot James- Wait, what is even the point of that?

Riot Ghostcrawler- Oh! I know! What if we made his boxes scale based on his level and they get an increased duration by 1 second for every 20 AP!

Riot James- That makes no sense! If his boxes scale based off his health, it'll be even more punishing for him if he gets behind and why 1 second for every 20 AP? There's no way they can even use that efficiently and even if they get like 20 or 40 or even 60 AP what are those extra seconds even gonna do for them? It's also worth noting how impossible it is to get that much early game which is almost the only point a few seconds matter!

Riot Ghostcrawler- Don't backsass me boy! Sit down or you go in the cage... That's where we hide Lyte. You don't wanna be locked in with Lyte.

Riot Meddler- I still think there needs to be more of a... balance that fits the description of the champion. In other words, we need to troll the shit out of Shaco players!

Riot Ghostcrawler- Hah! We'll take one of this childs' advice to heart and make his Q deal flat bonus damage but very low! So, low it's worse than what it was before! Also, it'll scale off of a little bit of AP just to... make it look good. The punchline is it'll scale based off of total AD!

Riot Meddler- Wait... isn't that kind of good?

Riot Ghostcrawler- Heh, the total AD ratio is just his regular auto attack damage. It doesn't ACTUALLY give more damage! HEHE XD

Riot Meddler- Holy Shit! You are a genius! You are the Tupac of balancing!

Riot James- ...This isn't real.

Riot Meddler- Great, Shaco's done. We still need more assassins to work on whether we wanna make them shit or overpowered.

Riot Ghostcrawler- I'm feelin' greedy Meddler, first let's work on Leblanc. She has "2" many weaknesses.

Riot Meddler- Waveclear and global presence?

Riot Ghostcrawler- Mhhmm. How I plan to solve this is to make her Q kind of like Ryze E-Q. Except hers will do a bunch more damage early on. We should also restrict her ultimate a lot less. Just let her do her combos in any number of ways. That'll make the game more "fun". I guess, we'll need to pull her back a little bit so just make her sigils take a few seconds to proc. That way she'll have to wait a little bit before killing you. In reality, you're still dead anyways.

Riot Meddler- There's still the issue of her global presence being kind of.. inferior.

Riot James- She can roam just fine....

Riot Ghostcrawler- Make her clone spawn GLOBALLY and copy the last move the original leblanc used is copied by the clone, I don't think anyone would allow us to make the clone do actual damage so it'll have to be fake.

Riot Meddler- You never cease to amaze me... Ok, Rengar?

Riot Ghostcrawler- Say we "remove" his heal and make his heal similar to Tahm Kench's gray health, despite everyone saying how unhealthy that ability was, I like it. Also, make him remove CC on empowered W and make him invincible for 1.5s to CC. Make his new "camoflauge" last for.. just a shitton of time. Also, lower it's cooldown and make it start as soon as he uses it. This way he can essentially be "camoflauged".

Riot James- Why does it matter if he is camoflauged? Like... His leap range is outside of that. It literally changes.. almost nothing!

Riot Meddler- Good point. Let's buff his leap range to make the camoflauge change less significant. Is there anything else we're missing?

Riot Ghostcrawler- Yes, give him 1000k damage. Ok, next is: Kataraina. Make her drop knives and she can shunpo on those. Each shunpo is reset when she shunpo's on a dagger and each time she jumps on those daggers she does her spin2win and deals a shitton of damage! Just let her shunpo everywhere, as much as possible... I guess we would have to take away her ward jump but she should still be able to shunpo to ally. Yeah, that sounds fair enough. I wish we could give her more though.

Riot Meddler- To add to that. How about we give Kha'zix more damage and other useless changes to make it seem like he's getting nerfed but he's actually the strongest jungle assassin of all-time?

Riot Ghostcrawler- I agree with that. On top of that, Let's make Zed steal AD. Simple and easy.

Riot Meddler- Ghostcrawler? More like Godcrawler! Cheers, friend.

Riot James- I quit.

Riot Ghostcrawler- Hah! That's what you think! You're going into the Lyte pin!

Later that day

James- Uhhh...

Lyte- What... is your name son?

James- J-James...

Lyte- James! Take out the J and it's spelled "same" backwards! A word specifically used a lot by Cloud9 Jungler Meteos! Someone who criticized Tyler1, Toxic player! That makes you toxic!

James- ...w-What? What are you-

Lyte- PERMABANNED!