Why I don't play ranked

There are many reasons why I don't play ranked. Perhaps too many to count. None of it is from Riot; it's all you out there. You're the people I have to deal with in-game. You act like a shitheel in normals and then pretend you're actually a bastion saint of civility and niceness in ranked, because god forbid you don't get the skin for that one champion you never actually play, or maybe you get chat banned (or game banned) because you said something that makes what Dunkey said as innocent as the opening to Sesame Street, and it's a wonder the police haven't come yet to ARREST you.

In actuality, you're WORSE in ranked, oh god so much worse! You'll conspire to throw an entire game in the champion select screen over the tiniest of things, and the rest of us are caught in a Morton's Fork in which we can't back out of the queue at risk of losing LP, or we play the game and run the risk of losing LP because of your miserable ass. I learned back when I started playing this game two years ago that you're working off of a hair trigger temper with a broken fuse, and the fact that I can evoke murderous hatred from people just by existing near them doesn't help at all. You'll throw yourself to the ground and throw a cosmic temper tantrum because of even the absolute slightest thing; I wonder how you haven't been permabanned yet because of such abhorrent, deplorable behavior, or if you have, just how many accounts you have burned through with your shitty shenanigans.

• Banning the wrong champions
• Banning your main
• Banning your second main
• Banning your friend's main
• Having the wrong masteries
• Your allies having the wrong masteries
• Having the wrong runes
• Your allies having the wrong runes
• Having the wrong summoner spells
• Having the summoner spells in the wrong order
• Your allies having the wrong summoner spells
• Your allies having their summoner spells in the wrong order
• Being last pick
• Not being first pick
• Someone picking your role
• Someone not picking the role you want them to go
• Someone picking your champion on either team
• Picking a champion you don't like
• Playing with people of a lesser rank than you
• Playing against people of a higher rank

This is just in the champion select screen alone, and it's always one or more of these things every time I enter ranked! When we get into the game, it just spirals down from there.

• Getting asked to leash
• Not getting a leash
• Not getting leashed hard enough
• Missing the smite
• Enemy team gets first blood
• You don't get first blood
• The support took a minion
• The support took a minion... and you're in top lane
• You lost the turret
• You didn't reach level 6 fast enough
• You didn't get first dragon
• You didn't get first dragon fast enough
• You burned your flash too quickly
• You didn't get a gank fast enough
• You didn't get a kill fast enough
• Support doesn't build sightstone (though they're still doing more than their share of warding duty)
• Support didn't die in the last fight for you (no matter how unnecessary that would have been)
• Support died in the last fight for you (and saved your life)
• Someone "KSed" you (even if you ran the risk of dying)
• Support got the kill (even if you were nowhere near the fight)
• Support got the assist (means they attempted to steal the kill)
• Someone didn't build the right item first
• Someone built an item you never build
• Asked to ward
• Asked to upgrade trinket
• The support talked back at you
• Not getting peeled (though you were, and at great cost, and you survived)
• Last gank didn't go so well (though nobody died)
• Last gank, you didn't get any kills (though the enemy died and the turret is defenseless)
• Getting aced
• Enemy gets a killing spree
• Enemy gets a killing spree before you do.
• Ally gets a killing spree before you do
• Support gets a killing spree
• You can't push out from the turret
• Because the meta says you should

Like before, this isn't even all of them. I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells because one of you will snap like a banjo string and start flipping eight tons of apeshit because not everyone acts the same as you, or does the things you want them to. You have made ranked so acidic I have only played less than 20 games this entire season, and 17 of those games were filled with your vitriol. STOP IT.