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How to get rich quick in League!

Lao Fu the Tiger··76 votes·5,618 views

HELLO!

Are you TIRED of feeling poor in League? Does your wallet seem to feel EMPTY every time you go back to base after getting rekt by the enemy Vel'Koz? Feel like QQing because he has item 3157 item 3136 item 3165 item 1001 while you have item 1056 item 1052 item 1026 at 22 minutes?? Well BOY do I have THE solution for your problems!

Introducing a new REVOLUTIONARY way you can get that gold so that even the hardest of hard counters are peeing their pants in ABSOLUTE TERROR of your immense power! Get ready to cause ABSOLUTE CHAOS on the Rift with...

http://files.jenjobs.com/files/logo/1012376/cs%20logo%202008.jpg

That's right folks,

http://files.jenjobs.com/files/logo/1012376/cs%20logo%202008.jpg

CS is your key to success to win lane and win game. That's right, because every time you kill 13 of those little red bastards, that's like getting AN ENTIRE KILL. Wow! Get a boatload of these things, and you will have UNLIMITED ITEMS and INCREDIBLE POWER.

Don't be that lone sucker Graves in bottom lane who gets 4 kills and has 58 CS at 19 minutes with item 3031 , BE THE 1/3/2 Caitlyn WITH 187 CS AND item 3031 item 3046 AND MAYBE BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO MUCH EXTRA GOLD TO SPEND EVEN A item 3135 BECAUSE YOU'RE A MAN.

Disclaimer: Following this advice may make you feel so manly you contract Nasus-syndrome, a rare but serious side effect in which you farm so much to get your items that you completely and utterly neglect your team and throw the game by not using the items you've been buying with excess gold to kick ass in teamfights.

45 Comments

S H A Y C 029 votes

wow! this is revolutionary!!!!! How does one...."CS?"

Lao Fu the Tiger51 votes

[{quoted}](name=ToiletteOfDoom ,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=1x4Xhrol,comment-id=0000,timestamp=2015-04-20T14:53:00.217+0000)

wow! this is revolutionary!!!!! How does one...."CS?"

I'm glad you asked!

For the low, low price of ABSOLUTELY FREE AND GENERALLY WITHOUT RISK, you can CS today by doing nothing more than RIGHT CLICKING on a minion as it's about to perish!

"But uncle Lao, isn't that a bit cheap and easy?"

ABSOLUTELY. We aren't some scammer company who tries to sell you on getting kills to get money. WE GIVE YOU THE LOWEST PRICE IN TOWN TO GET YOUR GOLD.

S H A Y C 07 votes

I was thinking more like an actual tutorial on how to CS properly...but thanks anyway uncle lau, ill do my best on my own.

Lao Fu the Tiger15 votes

[{quoted}](name=ToiletteOfDoom ,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=1x4Xhrol,comment-id=000000000000,timestamp=2015-04-20T16:09:19.792+0000)

I was thinking more like an actual tutorial on how to CS properly...but thanks anyway uncle lau, ill do my best on my own.

Oh. XD I didn't know you legitimately wanted to know.

I practice in custom games. No bots, no runes or masteries, and play the champion I want to practice with until I can cs close to perfectly every time for the first 10 minutes of the game.

Then you add runes and masteries, and it gets a ton easier. Then OFF TO PVP I GO.

S H A Y C 03 votes

do you add a bot to lane against or is it just you and the Veigar clones?

rinsujo11 votes

Hey man, don't joke about that. I've died to those clones. They're dangerous.

Nucleophilic atk1 votes

I've died more to the Veigar close than I have to Veigar.

Lao Fu the Tiger3 votes

[{quoted}](name=ToiletteOfDoom ,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=1x4Xhrol,comment-id=00000000000000000000,timestamp=2015-04-20T17:00:50.081+0000)

do you add a bot to lane against or is it just you and the Veigar clones?

The clones are no joke.

Adding bots is for MACHO MAN LEVEL PRACTICE.

Usually just to get the feel for CSing with a certain champion (and not CSing as a whole) I don't worry about bots. If you're trying to practice the actual concept of CSing in general, bots can be useful.

S H A Y C 02 votes

awesome, thanks again Uncle Lao

Aerothal3 votes

oh, that's interesting! i always did it with runes and masteries and add an intermediate bot in because they like to harass you. Imma try your way sometime!

Lao Fu the Tiger1 votes

{quoted}

oh, that's interesting! i always did it with runes and masteries and add an intermediate bot in because they like to harass you. Imma try your way sometime!

That way is really good! If you can do it without runes AND with a bot, that's even better :D

Ronnie Law2 votes

I agree with everything here EXCEPT the no runes and masteries.

Specifically for attack speed. Whatever AS you are putting in your runes/masteries, practice like that. You can drop the AD and everything else, but if your AS is different you will learn your attack animation wrong. This can really fuck you in a transition if you haven't practiced it.

500000000000000024 votes

Caitlyn

BECAUSE YOU'RE A MAN

IcyPepper5 votes

Vi item 3070

That's my girl... man.

Yorukin23 votes

"Before I had CS, I was poor. I could barely even afford a item 1036, much less an entire item 3153. But now, with the amazing help of CS, I've got all I need to carry and more! Thanks, CS!"

Okay, shoot's over, where's my paycheck?

The Lexer11 votes

Your paycheck was in cs

Raw22 votes

http://www.auplod.com/u/doapul52e8e.png

rebound213 votes

How to Actually Get Rich Quick in League Step 1: Play OP mid laners. Step 2: Get into Challenjour (Challenger if you live outside of North America). Step 3: Have Senpai Rito Games notice you. Step 4: Show off your mad skillz to Senpai Rito Games. Step 5: Hope that you are accepted into the Korean LCS (this step is very important). Step 6: Win the World Championship. This is a rather easy step, so make sure to bring a cool beverage with you to drink while you get carried by your Korean teammates in-game. Step 7: Trick your teammates into gambling away all their money from Worlds on a game of dice. (Make sure you bring the dice, and make sure they're loaded dice.) Step 8: Optional If your teammates find out it was a trick, leave Korea and start a new life. Don't forget to make "Kappa" your last name, it will throw them off if they attempt to search for you. Step 9: Spend your quick and easy to get money.

Disclaimer: In undertaking this journey to get rich quick in League of Legends if you experience any of the following while following these steps, I, MrYorky, am not responsible: Dick stuck in toaster, gagged and drowned by Koreans, being killed by the Korean mafia, shanked while gambling with loaded dice, arrested while attempting to leave the country, and/or being stomped on by your thousands of fans while exiting the World Championship stadium.

The Lexer7 votes

+1 for "challenger if you live outside of North America" xD

XxlegendzxX1234 votes

Sees first sentence (eyes get bigger, scoots forward in chair, but slowly reading through, starts to item 3070 up again cause he aint challenjour.)

Konidias1 votes

{quoted}

How to Actually Get Rich Quick in League

Become a famous streamer and have people randomly donate thousands of dollars to you daily for no reason.

rebound21 votes

Now you see, that might make more sense than this type of magical journey I've proposed above, but once you are in Challenjour and win the World Championship with your teammates, you can also stream and keep going on this magical journey! (Remember that you can drink cool beverages while streaming and get carried by teammates if you swap your account to the Korean servers.)

Only Play Darius7 votes

Here's a satisfied customer ready to give testimonials!: Nasus

Sytari4 votes

Don't forget about Gangplank , who bought the exclusive "Plunder Pack" and got bonus gold from cs!

If you're not that rich, you can also hear from Ashe , because she got the cheaper version.

IcyPepper2 votes

Wow, Lao Fu, that's amazing! But what if I play a support? How do I get rich then?

rebound28 votes

Steal the CS from your ADC.

Lao Fu the Tiger17 votes

{quoted}

Wow, Lao Fu, that's amazing! But what if I play a support? How do I get rich then?

An EXCELLENT question, Mr. Tom B. Dragon!

Order today and we'll include your choice of not one, not two, BUT THREE, that's right, THREE special gifts, item 3302 item 3303 item 3301 , ABSOLUTELY FREE! (Shipping and handling 365G)

rebound212 votes

I've heard enough.

mοno1 votes

pics or gtfo

Jambulija1 votes

Im translating this for my friend!

Aerothal1 votes

cant argue with truth 10/10

Mistress Madoka1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Lao Fu the Tiger,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=1x4Xhrol,comment-id=,timestamp=2015-04-20T14:48:33.933+0000) Disclaimer: Following this advice may make you feel so manly you contract Nasus-syndrome, a rare but serious side effect in which you farm so much to get your items that you completely and utterly neglect your team and throw the game by not using the items you've been buying with excess gold to kick ass in teamfights.

This has been my Complaint to Nasus Mains for years.

BeautifulBlanket1 votes

Lol. Nice post OP

Pikmints1 votes

Veigar Nasus Sion We can only show you the importance of CSing. You must take it upon yourself to carry out that task.

Virgin Ray1 votes

I seriously thought that CS was some kind of paid program things where DVDs would teach you how to earn IP fast.

DarkFaun Fortes1 votes

The disclaimer made me "LOL"

SpecterVonBaren1 votes

How does the Caitlyn have 187 cs if she's been killed 3 times?

Hrud6 votes

{quoted}

How does the Caitlyn have 187 cs if she's been killed 3 times?

Didn't you read? HE'S A MAN.

Keterroc1 votes

i'm done

i cannot even

(But I need to start doing that No Runes/Masteries thing, haven't tried that yet. Kudo c:)

Chespin20131 votes

am i the only here that is reminded of billy mayes when i read this post i loved his commercials

PalPlays1 votes

{quoted}

am i the only here that is reminded of billy mayes when i read this post i loved his commercials

I was reminded of the Old Spice Guy.

Bouffon dAnglais1 votes

Doctors hate him!

arcinex1 votes

It this legit? Plz respond

Kappa

76Summers1 votes

Graves in bottom lane who gets 4 kills and has 58 CS at 19 minutes....you been watching my games????

Lao Fu the Tiger1 votes

{quoted}

Graves in bottom lane who gets 4 kills and has 58 CS at 19 minutes....you been watching my games????

Oh don't you know it.

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