Some people just can't stop crying over Kalista

I will now list all the champions who can beat kalista:

The god of war, you think kalista can live?

Can charm her with her foxy looks, then steal her soul. Ironic much?

Can just ult for every dash kalista has, you think you can escape her?

Can just lock her in a turret, or laugh as he becomes the invincible bull he is when he ults.

Can stun her not once, but twice. He kills you with the tears of the people who hate kalista, appropriate no?

Can freeze you in place, then put a blizzard on her face.

Can make her meet pedo bear, I mean tibbers.

Can shoot a giant arrow in her face.

Can make the soliders push her around.

Just wants to give her a hug. And a painful punch. And 10,000 volts of electricity.

Can turn her into ashes before you can say "No he can't."

Can knock her out clean with a single hit of the shield. Seriously, how does he even carry that thing?

Can 360 no scope her across the map.

Can turn her into a statue. What, were you expecting poison here? We all know cassiopeia isn't a poison mage anymore, because Rito fixed THAT.

Can eat her. As soon as Teemo accepts his fate.

Can drop bombs and missles, making her regret not walking into Our Diabolical Lord and Savior.

Can cleave her in two. Why he keeps yelling "SPIN2WIN", I'll never know.

Can show her the wrath of the moon.

Can cleave her in two and laugh as she tries to spear him repeatedly.

...Do I even need to say anything?

Can wrap her up and eat her as a nice, tasty snack. Or you know, just poison her once... either or.

Can outrun her in heels. How she does this, nobody will know.

Will distract her with shopping and clothes.

Will show her to a hungry flock of crows.

Will waltz around her with her blade.

I have one word for this: SHAAAAAAAAARK!

Nobody can touch a gargoyle right? Spears don't break stone.

Because he is a pirate.

The bushes of the map are not safe from the lord of demacia.

Will throw his boomerang at her. She'll regret catching it soon enough.

Can get her drunk. Then the authorities will take care of the rest.

Can show her the business end of a shotgun.

Can show her why ponies aren't something you mess with.

Can raise his dongers and walk out with swag.

...maybe kalista can handle irelia. But just in case, we better nerf irelia.

Can whisk her away from Kansas.

Can trap her in an arena of death.

Can make kalista cower in fear of the thought of him having a real weapon.

Either smash her, or blast her to bits. Win win, really.

Can blow her up in various ways. Then proceeds to blow up everything else.

You don't want bad karma, do you kalista?

He'll show her eternal power, and lead us to order. Also, nothing can save kalista from the Requiem.

Can silence... wait a second... He can still, uh... kill her?

Just roll your face on the keyboard and kalista dies.

Will kill her in the name of justice.

Will show her the fury of the tempest.

Will eat her and evolve.

Will turn her into acid, then eat her.

Will make kalista kill the clone and then murder her before she can blink.

Do you have any idea how much his ult hurts?

Will show her the wrath of the sun.

Will freeze her in an eternal tomb.

Will show her what good aim looks like.

Will make her a squirrel, maybe a wolf will come along too.

Will blind her with light before showing her the ray of death and double rainbows.

Will show Kalista the true meaning of "Stuck between a rock and a hard place."

Will give her space aids.

Just wait until urf, let the sapling nuke begin.

Will show her that her skills are inferior, and dunk her.

Is a pirate. Autowins commence.

Will tell her to click once, the surrender button that is.

Will give her time to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 2 snacks before she can move.

Will show her why you should fear the sea.

Will farm the life out of her.

Will show her why you should fear the sea, part 2.

Will show her the power of the wild. And what "mating season" is.

Will give her nightmares.

Will stand there and proceed to snowball her face. If that isn't enough, maybe the sub zero territory around her will convince her.

Will go through the map 18 times and back chasing her, then gives her the axe.

... the ball would like a word?

Mandrop, the manteon the life out of her. If she lives, it's because she hacks.

Will show her hammer diplomacy.

Valor will gouge her. She can't run if he can't see.

OK. AN ENEMY HAS BEEN SLAIN

Will murder her. What, did you expect feasting or something?

Will chop them into pieces.

Will do this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2LpTxW2OEo

Nobody defeats riven alone, kalista is no exception.

Will show her what yordles are worth.

Will roll his face on the keyboard.

Will skewer kalista on the boar.

Will show her a "magic trick".

Will protect anyone kalista tries to kill, then murders her himself.

Will watch as the arena of death from jarvan succeeds. If not, she'll turn into a dragon and eat her.

Will run circles around her.

Will roar and charge with all his might. Kalista will wish she didn't meet him.

Will be hired to take her as the next target. Trust me, she knows what she's doing.

Will show her his sting.

Will make her experience dance dance revolution.

Will make her eat bananas.

Will introduce her to Beatrice. Then merge and murder her.

Will make kalista experience dodge ball.

Will have another body for the gutter.

Will distract her with shopping and clothes.

Will get her high, or make her experience the WWII mine fields. Either or.

Will capture her soul for the bonus armor and AP.

Will make her go "BOOM".

Will be the troll judge, troll jury and executitroll.

Will show her how much stronger his right arm is.

Will show her what her destiny is.

Will give her something that won't wash off.

Will see if she can outdash the bear.

Will show her the might of his godliness.

Will make her know agony.

Will purge her with silver.

"What's black, and blue, and about to show you the definition of PAIN?". Trust me, this question will be answered soon enough.

Will probe her. With lasers.

Will make a door and punch her face out.

Will show her the glorious evolution.

Let the troll pool be known, you cannot escape the pool.

Will flip and eat her.

Will suppress and eat her.

Will show her the big staff.

Will show her true magical power.

Will let her know why Xin is the man, and that he will get down to business.

Will let her face the wind. And murder her.

Yorick walks up to kalista, and says "I win." AN ENEMY HAS BEEN SLAIN

Will show her bouncing time.

Will show her that the unseen shadow, is indeed the deadliest.

Will show her that it is "safe".

I would say how zilean would beat kalista, but all in good time.

Will make her experience the wrath of the plants.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! See, kalista isn't that bad, is she? So many people can beat her!

######I'm sorry that this sucked. Maybe if I had some more background knowledge would this have been better.