A tale of love and sorrow.
Totally unrelated to LoL, but perhaps some young men could learn from my life mistakes, as I presume many of us gamers share similar personalities.
Today I am a 28year old living alone. Historically I was never outgoing, but I was always able to snag the girl I pursued. 6years ago I messaged a girl on facebook that I have never met before. That girl is now my ex-fiance and my daughters mother. Anywho, boys and girls , meaningful relationships are made through time and experience together as friends. Meeting girls over social media is always opting to choose a relationship with an expiration date, because you lack the initial bonds of friendship and social experiences together. When I met her, I had everything going for me, I was actually a pretty nice catch. I was a good guy, I was a Sergeant in the National Guard, and I had a career outside of the military. This woman broke me down into nothing over the course of 4-5 years. It started with the first time she cheated. And btw, cheaters always cheat. She cheated ruthlessly on everyone before me, and she cheats on her now fiance on a daily basis. Anyways, after the first time she cheated, or atleast got caught cheating, it made me lose trust in her, for forever. But, I stayed because she was pregnant, and quite frankly ridiculously attractive. Still the stress generated from not trusting her whittled me away. I had chronic migraines, would miss days at work. And then It got worse, I realized she was having affairs around my work schedule, which she currently does to her new fiance as well...this caused me to quit my job so she couldn't go behind my back while I'm at work. I didn't re-enlist with the guard. I was no longer self sufficient and now dependent on her. Also, the reason I stayed through all of this, was a few reasons. One, I loved her, two we had a daughter together, and three, that daughter is severely disabled having both autism and down syndrome. I love my daughter, but she will be a 4year old for the entirety of her life, and this will make mine and her mothers life difficult for forever. I felt like we had to work things out, I know, as a man I had no choice. I am no longer a catch. I gave up my career, I now work a 15/hr job just scraping by, and I have the baggage of a child that will be a child for forever. I am completely undesirable aside from physical and sexual attractions, but those don't matter as much as having somone to bond with. I had to make it work. I had to try, and I did try. Its hard to say if it was worth it. This woman gave red flags from the moment I met her, but I was thinking with my wiener and now here I am. Alone, likely forever. As of a week ago I discovered my baggage, isnt actually mine. My 5year old daughter is in fact, somone else's. I have sacrificed my life taking care of somone else's child. I do love her and I won't stop being her father, but no matter if I have forgiven her mother for the past. These things haunt me everyday of my life. I have gone through periods where I thought suicide was the best option. But id never actually go through with it. Life goes on, I still have purpose no matter how unhappy I am. Don't be like me lads, don't think with your wiener. Go ahead and hookup with that pretty girl that you know for a fact is a bunch of scandalous bad news...but don't tie yourself down to her. You'll only regret it in the end.
See you on the rift.
