Share your insane (and probably terrible) balance ideas that would never actually be implemented

Because I have a lot of them:

1. Completely gut Ezreal, Kayle and Vladimir to the point where they are unviable without a rework under all circumstances (I'm talking sub-40% winrate). I'm talking about crap like removing the one-hit from Ez's Q. With these champions out of the way, more serious work can be done on itemization for AD casters and mages (now that Sheen effects, onehits and spellvamp aren't broken instantly by these champs).

2. Make an Abathur-style champion (completely global).

3. Instead of fully reworking Urgot, give him a GP-tier rework. He's got a solid identity as an anti-assassin and anti-carry AD mana bruiser already, he just needs some love to make it really stick.

4. Rework Rengar so that he can't oneshot, but instead support a style similar to S4 tank Rengar.

5. Make Teemo a viable champion. He isn't even that cancerous anymore compared to a lot of the crap we deal with now.

6. Remove ward-hopping for everyone except Katarina. Buff Lee and/or Jax as needed (which some people will interpret as "not at all").

7. Remove Titanic Hydra from the game completely, or rework it so it's not appealing to mobile damage-dealers. Right now it's just enabling gimmicky tank builds and not actually helping juggernauts that much compared to stuff like Black Cleaver.

8. Make turrets (or at least outer turrets) take massively reduced damage the lower health they get at early on in the game. I'm talking making them literally impossible to kill before a certain time, but having it so you can still chip away at them if you get an advantage in lane. This is aimed at killing off the infamous "laneswap, turret trade" meta in competitive that ruins early-games for viewers and denies early strategy.

So what equally crazy ideas have you guys come up with?