PSA: Don't be a Top Lane Potato

It's not a good idea. Potato, which I'm borrowing from Mugen Saltybets, is a scientific term that roughly translates to League of Legends as follows:

4 tank items, BC, tank boots.

OH BUT I HAVE OFFENSIVE MASTERIES BLAHBLAHBLAH. No! Do not.
Stay far away from this mindset. Far Away.

Like, this kind of far away. The "not even on the same page" kind.

Anyway, as someone who has played this way before please allow me to explain: Offensive items in season 6 are good.

Like, really, really good. As in, so much better than the best tank items - many times better, even. They make builds work. Even Trinity Force, which is overpriced, is good, because it gives you so many stats and a super Sheen proc. That is good. That will kill things for you.

Defensive items in season 6, on the other hand, let you get away with things like not getting instagibbed by a team, dying incredibly fast to a type of damage (which there is a lot of in this video game; more on that later) or letting baron or towers focus you be an entirely bad idea. They are countermeasures. Once they were more than that. That is no longer the case, rip in piece fon and atma's.

In this game there are many ways of killing champions quickly. About thirty of them are good offensive items. A hundred more are powerful abilities that immobilize and/or burst down targets. When multiple champions with many of these items use many of these powerful abilities together onto one target, that target dies. That is how the game works right now. That is League of Legends.

There are about four exceptions to this general rule, three of which are support and jungle champions, and one of which is Guardian Angel if you count dying as being alive. That is not many. That is actually one away from being few. It would have been more effective for me to have not counted Guardian Angel in this example so that I could actually say that there are few. But alas.

Think about a build that involves three health-oriented items, Sterak's Gage, and BC and tank boots, on some tanky AD champion. That champion can take some hits. They are the "some hits" guy. Their entire build basically emulates Tryndamere's ult. So, the question at hand: how could they possibly take even more hits?

The answer is simple: If they killed the carries which overextend into their range of threat.

Sure, marksmen have damage. We all read the same patch notes at the start of the preseason. But the top laner is the Top Laner. They might not feel like much of an impact all the time, with abilities that do hardly anything and an autoattack range that feels like a T Rex trying to scratch its underbelly but by golly they are the kings and queens of teamfights. It doesn't matter if they're Garen, or Poppy, or Teemo or anyone else. Top laners are the king of damage. They take major dumps of it. Maybe not all the time, like tiny Gnar or a Renekton with no fury meter and no ult. But it's there - it's certainly there.

They just have to build it.

Do you know what the most efficient way to get tanky? Yeah, that's right, I'm addressing the reader directly for dramatic effect.
It's to gain levels. Which is done by dealing damage.

Look at yourself. Suddenly, as if some black magic or your ability to imagine things occured, you are the Top Laner. Now look at the jungle. Notice how hard your jungler is working trying to farm it all, but to no avail...
Now look at the patch notes. Look at Devourer. Notice how the item has been removed from the game.
Now look at the jungle. Build damage items. Take the jungle. Feel good about it, that's your jungle. You got it; it's yours.
The horses are now diamonds! I'm on a ticket. Now, guess what you can do with that extra gold and experience?
Gain more levels. Clear waves even faster. Buy more damage.
_start snowballing. _

Now hold on. Don't confuse this advice with "Only Build Damage Items Period". That is not the advice. Neither is "Feed Mercilessly and Expect to Do Well Endgame" or "This Thread is Too Long Downvote Downvote Downvote".

The advice is to use your runes and masteries to enable you survive and last hit during for ten minutes against another laning opponent without having to recall. And then start snowballing. What Malphite sort of does with armor, do that with damage. Have your mid- to endgame damage output be so ridiculous, so brutal that so long as you can lay a finger on an enemy carry it doesn't matter how babysat they've been the whole game. Because the Top Laner is the Top Laner. Mid has been sitting under his tower with blue buff hovering over his head sucking on his thumb as he threw cheetos and oreos at creeps in exchange for money. The marksmen have been being spoonfed all game by their babysitters and their respective playmates at bot.

Top has been stranded on an island with another burly, buff and beefy bully of a bruiser and they have been wrestling like there won't be a tomorrow for them if the other guy wins.

Now tell me who you think is supposed to win in a fight between these three. You're right. Maybe you're wrong; whatever. It's the Top Laner.

Not the Potato Lamer. Peace out, y'al.