"Let's make an ADC with percentage magic damage, a knock up, free walking wards, and a Twitch E that is superior in every way. Oh and let's give her a Vayne Q as a passive for good measure!"
"But sir how will any melee champions or skillshot champions ever compete with her?"
"Um .... idk but LC$Playz! doe!"
"You're a genius sir"
Keevalroy49 votesThis is the CertainlyT standard: I'm going to make the most obnoxious thing I can think of that's even more agonizing to deal with than my previous creation. It will be glorious!
I don't care if he's somehow learned his lesson from making Yasuo and Kalista, I don't even want to see what he's working on next. Going down his history, each champion has been worse than the previous, and following that pattern, what he might be working on right now will utterly break the game - or at least break our monitors when we play against it.
U4fyn2vZzW32 votesAtleast Yasuo's dashes required a minion wave, this bitch requires nothing to kite you for the fucking century.
It's outright humilating that this passive got passed on the live servers.
EDIT: I've played against Kalista atleast 10 times, and each time I've come so closer to literally headbutting my computer screen. She's the epitome of anti-fun.
Lt Cuddles3 votesI am literally recoiling in rage at the thought of my last game against her as 
. I used 
+ 
to slow her down so I could cave her skull in...it bearly worked...I was pulling teeth by the end of it, but it worked...
Serage5 voteskalista cant be slowed. She dont even need boots for jumping around. :D
Lt Cuddles7 votesRighteous glory boosts movement speed on active, omen lowers her attack speed, lowering her mini-hop auto-attack BS slightly, but yeah, slows don't stop that hop shite...
Kobila20007 votesWell we wouldn't want items to actually counter stuff, I mean that's why we have so many knockups, right?
Tentacle Love8 votes[{quoted}](name=Serage Akali Top,realm=EUW,application-id=3ErqAdtq,discussion-id=hwjvAWPj,comment-id=0005000000000000,timestamp=2015-02-10T07:15:27.124+0000)
kalista cant be slowed. She dont even need boots for jumping around. :D
100% false. Her AA dash is literally only increased by the tier of your boots, nothing else.
slowing her attack speed will save your life. 
LeeDark6 votesI played Ryze and had no problems. I've seen Annie do well against her,
Of course... I also play Sion and got really pissed off. Still, the mobility thing is not really her problem. There are plenty of point and click CC abilities in the game that lock her down so you can really mess her up. The problem with Kalista is the amount of objective control she brings. The ADC should not be able to out-Smite the jungler with a basic ability.
Junkο10 votesYou did well against her with ranged point and click stuns/snares. Good job! Now try to do it with any melee, point and click stun or not
Narasimha6 votesNow try to do it with any melee
Play time's over
Another unworthy opponent
Others try. I succeed
Ignorance is fatal
Our rage is beyond your control
ok
Do not let your pride blind you
Risotadazo20 votesIsn't "Others try; I succeed" a 
line?
killd0zer27 votesDid you literally just list Ahri as a melee champion?
Major Sparkles2 votesThe only way Kalista can outsmite the jungler is if she has already been sitting on the camp for an EXTENDED period of time. If that happens it means your team is doing a bad job of warding and/or keeping track of timers.
LeeDark8 votesSince your argument is entirely contradicted by videos of LCS games from the past two weeks, I don't feel the need to say anything at all here.
Major Sparkles1 votesSo what you're saying is that Kalista can rend kill the baron/dragon/red/blue with 3 seconds worth of rending? Even with 2.5 AS that's not going to put you over smite damage.
LeeDark2 votesSo what you're saying is you didn't see Kalista's soloing dragon while the rest of her team bullied the opponents away and she was able to Rend it dead at 1/3 health? Smite won't do that. What I'm saying is millions already saw it happen, more than once, in the LCS games. If you want to contradict that, go right ahead. You are more than welcome to whine and scream, "It isn't true!!" while you bang your head against a brick wall.
Imperial Japan1 votesDick... anyways, to the point. If your not strong enough to 4v5 then you probably wont get the dragon anyways. Just stop being a douche.
LeeDark1 votesIf you're* not strong enough to 4v5, your jungler tries to out-Smite the other jungler. Legitimate tactic used in every season past and in the current season... except when Kalista is in the game. When it is another jungler, like Nunu, doing this, it is fine. That's part of why you pick Nunu jungle. A lone ADC should not have this much solo objective control.
That nice and polite enough for you, asshat?
Imperial Japan1 votesLeeDark2 votesGood grammar may not make one seem smarter, but poor grammar certainly achieves the opposite.
How to respond to a dragon attempt when you are behind is a judgment call of the team/shotcaller. YOU may think it is a better idea to pressure elsewhere, but there are plenty of situations in which your team could want to equalize the first dragon buff to catch up or prevent a third, fourth, or fifth buff from being added to the enemy team. Pehaps your lanes may all be pushed, baron is down, and dragon is the only objective available. It doesn't even really matter if trying to out-Smite the other jungler is the wrong call at that moment in time, because your argument completely failed to address the issue at hand. Smite stealing is a legitimate tactic, and an ADC should not be preventing your jungler from trying to steal objectives with Smite by using a simple low-cooldown basic ability.
Imperial Japan1 votesEven though getting first dragon will be keeping the enemy from being too strong but will not get you ahead unless you miaculously steal all of them. Doing so will just make you go even further behind as they will most likely kill you. Also most people 1. Does not notice when someone says you're instead of your or vice versa 2. It wouldn't matter too much, just because someone said "your" does not make them sound unintelligent. But hey, you are yourself and I'm myself, different opinions so well yeah.
LeeDark1 votesSo you've resigned yourself to arguing strategy, which is up to the individual or team playing the game, rather than the mechanical issue at hand, which is an ADC out-damaging Smite with a single spell? I'll just assume you don't actually have anything useful to say, then.
LeeDark2 votes--he says while saying something completely pointless in an attempt to get the last word in.
Seriously, thanks for the laugh. You stopped trying to talk and REASON the moment you stopped talking about Kalista. That was what the discussion was about, but instead, you veered off into the tangent of whether or not trying to steal an objective with Smite was the right call. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHETHER OR NOT IT IS THE RIGHT CALL IN A GIVEN SITUATION. It is part of the game, and an ADC taking away that strategic choice entirely is broken.
lDontLiftIcarry2 votesI've been outsmited by rank 1 kalista E. Its broken. Needs a cap. NOW.
Risurin2 votesI've been outsmited by rank 1 kalista E. Its broken. Needs a cap. NOW
For how long was she stacking that E ? How was she stacking it without any retaliation ? if you let her auto your objective for a long time, for free and try to steal it from her instead of turning/stop doing the neutral objective, you deserve to lose your objective, because you misplayed.
lDontLiftIcarry1 votesshe was on my team. lol.
Risurin2 votesshe was on my team. lol.
then she was the one securing the objective for you, which i believe required her to be hitting it for several autos
lDontLiftIcarry5 votesit also means their jungler has no way of ever getting it and outplaying because of yet another broken excute percentage damage in this game to secure objectives with that does more damage than smite for no reason other than shit balancing.
Risurin2 votesit also means their jungler has no way of ever getting it and outplaying because of yet another broken excute percentage damage in this game to secure objectives with that does more damage than smite for no reason other than shit balancing.
i mean nunu was basicly able to do this as well.
As for Kalista, as i said previously, you need to stop investing time QQing about every single thing you dont like, and start finding way to work around it. Maybe not letting Kalista stack Rend so she can secure the objective for her team, is a solution :^)
LeeDark1 votesNunu is a jungler. Having the ability to secure objectives is part of what he is supposed to do, and he couldn't even do what Kalista does. Nunu has to Smite AND use his Q to do more damage than Smite. He cannot accomplish it with one spell. A good jungler can sneak their own Smite in there and steal the objective from Nunu. It is difficult, but that is why you pick Nunu. An ADC offering stronger objective control by herself, and not even giving the opportunity to Smite-steal because she does up to 1/3 of the dragon's health in damage with just one ability, is unacceptable. It absolutely needs a cap, at least against monsters.
Risurin3 votesNunu is a jungler. Having the ability to secure objectives is part of what he is supposed to do, and he couldn't even do what Kalista does. Nunu has to Smite AND use his Q to do more damage than Smite. He cannot accomplish it with one spell. A good jungler can sneak their own Smite in there and steal the objective from Nunu. It is difficult, but that is why you pick Nunu. An ADC offering stronger objective control by herself, and not even giving the opportunity to Smite-steal because she does up to 1/3 of the dragon's health in damage with just one ability, is unacceptable. It absolutely needs a cap, at least against monsters.
Actually, its on Nunu end to correctly time smite+consume combo so the objective is unstealable. if he doesnt do that, then its become the normal 50-50 chance. Then Nunu, can literally walk up to the enemy team doing the objective, while its low, smite+consume, easy steal. Kalista need to build up her rend for several autos to secure it, which force you to make the decision to engage her and her team, or let them have dragon, and possible pressure another objective.
Yes, securing objective is part of Nunu's kit, but he isnt just a jungler, for instance TPA used him as a support during S2 world. Then you have consider, that if Nunu max his consume early enough (normal as jungler, if you going more objective focus), then your consume will do way more damage then smite at most stage of the game, until the enemy jungler hit lvl 18. But now, why can't this be part of kalista kit ? From what i've seen from her spotlight this is intentional and working as intended. She need to hit the objective for a while before securing it. And honestly at that point, their adc is focusing the objective, jsut collapse on her and her team and you can probably win the fight, unless you lost the game a draft phase by picking champions that dont work well against kalista.
JØJł20 votesShes like singed in a way. If you chase them, you'll just end up dying.
Caezium6 votesShe can do far more damage than singed because of ADC itemization.
But yes she kind of is similar to singed in a few ways.
Caharin11 votesWtf is wrong with the community.
When Kalista was released, she was overwhelmingly underplayed, some people even got accused for trolling for picking her. No one had any problems with her % damage because of its cooldown (fairly useless in quicker fights, aswell as her E) and no one bothered with anything in her kit except Martial Poice.
And then she sees LCS play. She manages to deal over 1k damage to Drake because she got to stack for a year. Her Sentinels were finally used and actually spotted someone at times. With Ruunan's rush into Bork and Zerk Greaves gave her excessive mobility and quick stacking on her E. People did it in SoloQ for WEEKS before LCS, but once LCS started "uh much op pls nerf rito".
The community is more obnoxious than ever. J4 seeing play in LCS? With Gnar combo? All of a sudden they are OP and need nerfs! Kassadin and Ahri are prettu succesfull in LCS, now picked and banned in every game cuz "muh LCS". Oh, and btw, have you ever played support for a Kalista? Her Fate's Call is super hard to know when she's using, and you can easily fly the wrong direction and knockup a minion because you're fanatically clicking to sidestep skills etc.
Oh, and it's easy to hit her. Once she starts jumping, the jump must complete. Just shoot to were she is jumping and you hit.
Kingsgrave20 votes[{quoted}](name=WCP Yamori,realm=EUW,application-id=3ErqAdtq,discussion-id=hwjvAWPj,comment-id=000e,timestamp=2015-02-10T10:42:00.573+0000)
Wtf is wrong with the community.
When Kalista was released, she was overwhelmingly underplayed, some people even got accused for trolling for picking her. No one had any problems with her % damage because of its cooldown (fairly useless in quicker fights, aswell as her E) and no one bothered with anything in her kit except Martial Poice.
And then she sees LCS play. She manages to deal over 1k damage to Drake because she got to stack for a year. Her Sentinels were finally used and actually spotted someone at times. With Ruunan's rush into Bork and Zerk Greaves gave her excessive mobility and quick stacking on her E. People did it in SoloQ for WEEKS before LCS, but once LCS started "uh much op pls nerf rito".
The community is more obnoxious than ever. J4 seeing play in LCS? With Gnar combo? All of a sudden they are OP and need nerfs! Kassadin and Ahri are prettu succesfull in LCS, now picked and banned in every game cuz "muh LCS". Oh, and btw, have you ever played support for a Kalista? Her Fate's Call is super hard to know when she's using, and you can easily fly the wrong direction and knockup a minion because you're fanatically clicking to sidestep skills etc.
Oh, and it's easy to hit her. Once she starts jumping, the jump must complete. Just shoot to were she is jumping and you hit.
People on the boards were complaining about her since the day she hit the PBE.
Adrian Umbra4 votesAnd then the complaints of "SO UP" started up when she hit live and the vast majority of people realized how difficult she was to play and how much of her power relied on a competent support. Since her LCS appearance (and a few very minor buffs), those threads have quieted down and the OP threads have gained a lot of support, which means the bandwagon circlejerk has started up in force.
She's generally considered on-par with most other ADCs in the pros (her main strength being her slipperiness and objective control) but is also fairly easy to counterpick. In Yoloqueue, she's generally behind ADCs like Graves and Jinx in popularity and effectiveness. The most convincing argument I've seen for nerfing her so far is her objective control, most of those who've been calling her OP generally are just annoyed that she's able to dodge many of their skillshots.
I personally don't even mind facing off against a Kalista because I know there are things I can do to stop her, I respect her strengths, and I know her weaknesses (WEAK PRE-HURRICANE/BOTRK, RELIANT ON SUPPORT, LOW DAMAGE WHEN REND IS ON COOLDOWN, SQUISHY). She's got about as much kiting potential as a Blue Ez once she gets her core together, plan accordingly.
Kingsgrave7 votes[{quoted}](name=Adrian Umbra,realm=NA,application-id=3ErqAdtq,discussion-id=hwjvAWPj,comment-id=000e00000001,timestamp=2015-02-10T17:28:37.035+0000)
And then the complaints of "SO UP" started up when she hit live and the vast majority of people realized how difficult she was to play and how much of her power relied on a competent support. Since her LCS appearance (and a few very minor buffs), those threads have quieted down and the OP threads have gained a lot of support, which means the bandwagon circlejerk has started up in force.
She's generally considered on-par with most other ADCs in the pros (her main strength being her slipperiness and objective control) but is also fairly easy to counterpick. In Yoloqueue, she's generally behind ADCs like Graves and Jinx in popularity and effectiveness. The most convincing argument I've seen for nerfing her so far is her objective control, most of those who've been calling her OP generally are just annoyed that she's able to dodge many of their skillshots.
I personally don't even mind facing off against a Kalista because I know there are things I can do to stop her, I respect her strengths, and I know her weaknesses (WEAK PRE-HURRICANE/BOTRK, RELIANT ON SUPPORT, LOW DAMAGE WHEN REND IS ON COOLDOWN, SQUISHY). She's got about as much kiting potential as a Blue Ez once she gets her core together, plan accordingly.
Just because a character has counters doesn't mean they aren't broken and in need of fixes.
Even Warwick, and people like you with the same type of argument of just "plan ahead," when he was obscene right after they made the jungle changes had counters. That didn't make him any less stupid. Rek'Sai before the nerfs had counters, still needed the nerf.
Honestly Kalista shouldn't be onpar with other ADCs. You should be giving up a lot of things by picking her and currently it doesn't feel like you are actually giving up anything by picking her over someone more reliable. Most of us on here just want her to have bigger weaknesses like lowering her range to 525 or 500. That alone would make her A LOT more tolerable for anyone remotely melee.
Major Sparkles2 votesI feel like when you pick Kalista you give up your early game. Kalista is so bad early on.
Major Sparkles3 votes[{quoted}](name=Adrian Umbra,realm=NA,application-id=3ErqAdtq,discussion-id=hwjvAWPj,comment-id=000e00000001,timestamp=2015-02-10T17:28:37.035+0000)
And then the complaints of "SO UP" started up when she hit live and the vast majority of people realized how difficult she was to play and how much of her power relied on a competent support. Since her LCS appearance (and a few very minor buffs), those threads have quieted down and the OP threads have gained a lot of support, which means the bandwagon circlejerk has started up in force.
Yup pretty much this...
[{quoted}](name=Adrian Umbra,realm=NA,application-id=3ErqAdtq,discussion-id=hwjvAWPj,comment-id=000e00000001,timestamp=2015-02-10T17:28:37.035+0000)
I personally don't even mind facing off against a Kalista because I know there are things I can do to stop her, I respect her strengths, and I know her weaknesses (WEAK PRE-HURRICANE/BOTRK, RELIANT ON SUPPORT, LOW DAMAGE WHEN REND IS ON COOLDOWN, SQUISHY). She's got about as much kiting potential as a Blue Ez once she gets** her** core together, plan accordingly.
Ezreal is a guy. That sentence structure is weird.
Adrian Umbra2 votes"Kalista has about as much kiting potential as a Blue Ez once [Kalista] gets [Kalista's] core together." I didn't think that sentence needed clarification since Blue Ez defines a certain item combination, but I'll admit it sounded a lot better in my head.
But what am I talking about? Ezrael is obviously best lesbian, totally Taric's waifu.
Gigglebytes3 votesCheck out this LC$Playz, yo.
Sona Ping13 votesThat's not as clever as you think it is. In fact, it just demonstrates another point that people have complaints with, that dealing with champions or "outplaying" people is just another way of saying "throw more stuns and knock-ups on them". Which is a strategy that is, at the end of the day, identical in it's results to unplugging your opponent's controller.
Gigglebytes1 votesYou miss the point. Frequently people use "LCSPlays" as an argument to say that riot is purposely leaving something unbalanced, which is ridiculous. This is evidence that Kalista was NOT a playmaker in her LCS game and was in fact a liability at this time.
Wullf2 votesAlthough in theory it seem pretty OP so does Jinx.
I have seen a few good Kalistas that got fed and there was truly little to be done against her. Still you could do a lot more then against fed and farmed up Nasus.
So the answer to Kalista is same as to Nasus. You have to work with your team to kill. Ofcourse there are situation where you cannot do that as enemy team has also another fed carry so you have to kill whoever you can. But that is another problem not exclusive to Kalista.
ChaoticPinecone13 votesyou can kite a fed nasus. a nasus with 1,000 stacks cant hit a competent ezreal+janna. "working around" kalista means bursting her 100-0, even if she isnt fed.
Narasimha13 votesA nasus with 1,000 stacks won't need to be kited. Towers can't move, after all.
Major Sparkles1 votesKalista struggles to kite Nasus. His AS and movement slow really messes her up.
Captain Aishi2 votesshe's still one of the least affected autoattackers in the game
try kiting nasus with ashe once you get withered... and ashe is supposed to be THE kiting ADC :(